London - A British student who scribbled an expletive on an English language exam paper was awarded 7.5% for accurate spelling and effective communication, The Times newspaper reported on Monday.

The pupil, who wrote "fuck off" after being asked in an English exam to "describe the room you are sitting in", got two marks out of 27 and would have got more if he had added some punctuation, chief examiner Peter Buckroyd told The Times.
"It does show some very basic skills we are looking for - like conveying some meaning and some spelling," said Buckroyd, who works for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance examinations board. "It shows some nominal skills but no relevance to the task".
"If it had had an exclamation mark it would have got a little bit more because it would have been showing a little bit of skill".
According to The Times, to gain minimum marks in English GSCE papers - an exam taken by hundreds of thousands of 16-year-olds across England every year - pupils must demonstrate "some simple sequencing of ideas" and an ability to put "some words in appropriate order".

Conveying meaning! Some pupils convey meaning to me regularly!!!!
I tell them to go and ...resequence their ideas!

It's Monday. Congratulations to la_spice for winning the Snaps Factor competition!
Tomorrow is Sports day and it is due to be really hot. So I m going to have to dose up on sun cream and hay fever tablets.
I am still looking forward to the end of series doctor who next week. Someone at work has been getting into it (Woohoo some is now talking to me... off their own bat) and I have lent him the first series on DVD. That should get him up to date on all the Bad Wolf stuff. We also have other things in common too.
Two weeks four days to go

PS- I have changed my header a bit

Today I went to the cinema.
Last Sunday I went to the cinema. The Cinema is next to an ASDA, which has a dry cleaning place so I thought "why not kill another bird with this stone" and last Sunday I took my suit to be dry cleaned.
"That will be ready tomorrow" said the blonde YTS type girl.
"Okay, but I will probably pick it up next Sunday"
"I'll take your number in case there's a problem" and she scrawled down my Mobile Number

Today I went to pick up my suit. A Sad mad old looking woman was there. "We've been trying to call you all week"
"What's happened"
"There was a problem with your trousers" {Story of my life} "WE have had to send it off to be mended. You haven't been picking up your calls"
"What number have you got?" and she read out the number. The digits were wrong "That's not the number I gave the girl." The silly moo had scrawled so badly that they hadn't been able to read the number. Some poor ijit has been receiving messages about faulty trousers all week.
And now I have to wait another week for my suit!
Lucky I have several more to choose from, otherwise I don't know what I'd do

That was AAAAMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAZING
Will the doctor regenerate? Are we going to have someone new?
or is the hand in the jar (focussed on at the beginning of the episode) going to come to the rescue. (don't ask me how)
And Hariet Jones (Former Prime Minister) coming back. Wooohooo! Good for her. Is that it, or is there more death on the horizon.
Davros is back. inevitable but brilliant. And the Daleks are more menacing than they were in Manhatten. And Kahn has gone mental. Good stuff!
No preivew for next week- I'm glad about that, but I am now waiting, as I imagine millions of other people are, for the conclusion next week.

But I also don't want it to end.

Oh, what an emotional dilemma

60 Things You Possibly Didn’t Know About Me [But Now You Do]
Stolen from....All of the above

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
A clean White T-shirt. In case I might need a clean one

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Over christmas when that vomit bug was around. YUK

3. Whats your favorite curse word?
I don't fucking swear.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
My OH kissed me before she left for work- that's one
Er... just gone midnight, I had some jokes with another Teacher on the coach home.
And (well just before midnight) the man who lifted the bridge at London Bridge so our boat could pass under, made me smile. It was an awesome sight!

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Probably blogging

7. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nearly. I almost made it through the door when I was about 14 Three of us went to London to ... well be young men really. We were going to go in one at a time. I was going to go second. The first boy got in. When I tried to get in, the bouncer on the door grabbed me by the ear and chucked me onto the street. Followed by boy number one! riend number three didn't even try

8. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"That's what I'm talking about" Best not to ask

9. When is your birthday?
Oh, I have one every year.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Lemon

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Blackcurrant Squash. I really need to re-hydrate myself

12. What are you wearing right now?
In my undies. I've not got up properly yet

13. What is the last thing you ate?
Chips

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Yes. A wing collar shirt for last night

15. When was the last time you ran?
Run? Why would I run?

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Some Euro football thing. Hup Holland

17. What's the last sport you played?
Does throwing screwed up pieces of paper into the bin from the back of the classroom count?

18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
My Space? What's that?

19. Ever go camping?
Not for a long time. Where would I hang my suit?

20.Do you have a tan?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

21.Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
not to my knowledge

22.What is your guilty pleasure?
buying clothes

23.Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
Not often

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Never

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to the cinema I hope. I thought about going today but I am knackered

28. Where is your mom right now?
Frinton- Did anyone see that program?

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
A pair of curatins and a grubby pull string thing

30. What color is your watch?
Black

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
The more important question is, what does Australia think of me?

32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yes. Grabbing for dear life and screaming like a girl

33. What is your birthstone?
I've never given birth. Why? Do stones come out too?

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through?
Drive through- then take it home and eat in front of the telly. Now I'm hungry

35. What is your favorite number?
91. It's true. My pupils will tell you

36. Do you have a dog?
I can't have hairy pets. Very allergic

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My OH. She just phones during question number 27

38. Have you met anyone famous?
not 'met' exactly. But Matt Lucas did bump into me once. Hold on, I met Sylvester McCoy

39. Any plans today?
Does Watching Doctor Who count as a plan?

40. How many provinces have you lived in?
er... counties. Essex, London, Sussex and Devon

41. Ever go to college?
University if you please

42. Where are you right now?
Sitting on the left hand side of the sofa in my living room

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Not understanding why people at work don't talk to me much. And a huge spot on my neck.

44. Last song listened to?
Probably... Frank's 2000 inch TV on the Alapalooza album (best song on it)

46. Are you allergic to anything?
dogs, cats, horses, hamsters, gerbils, rats, mice, guinea pigs, moles, voles, meer cats, lemmings, skunks, llamas, goats, plants flowers, trees, grass, hedges, bushes, work,

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Smart polished black shoes.

48. Taste in your mouth right now?
Blackcurrant

49. Are you jealous of anyone?
I don't think so

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
Sad git if they were

51. Do you love anyone?
Yes.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Define friends

53. Do you eat healthy?
I eat, healthy, unhealthy... sod it, I eat anything

54. What do you usually do during the day?
work, teach, annoy kids and get annoyed by them

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Not really

58. Do you own any big sunglasses?
Unfortunately yes, They are bright Orange and were a gift from the pupils I took to holland. They made me wear them on the journey home

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I really don't understand the question

60. How did you get one of your scars?
I have one on my knee which I got after kneeling on a piece of lego when I was a kid.

And that's me

Okay, I already know I am a sad little Doctor who geek, so you don't have to tell me. My DW magazine arrived today (with free book) and I have just been reading about the return of Davros in the finale. Is it wrong to be getting excited about it?
And episode 13 is 65minutes long! Woohoo! And with Sarah Jane and the Torchwood gang around too, it's gonna be a corcker. But who is going to die? And who is the Red Dalek?

Last night my OH did not get much sleep (No and it's not due to me, you dirty lot). The neighbours were pumping away 'til about 2am. At least, their music was. They were having a party. And even with the windows shut and double glazed, she could still hear it. Me, on the other hand, had the gall to sleep through it!
This morning, I got up late and had a nice lie in. Then i went to the cinema to see the Happening. Really, for a film called the Happening, there wasn't much happening!
When my OH got back I was forced was delighted to put up some blinds. Apparently it looks good and stops the neighbours seeing through the window whilst we're sitting on the toilet! Seriously, at night you can see us having a dump from the end of the driveway! Why they would want to is another story! Perhaps that's what my neighbours are now into... Chocolate Logging Dogging.
Top Gear is now on.

PS Bad news about holland- and I'd just invested in an orange tie!

The electrician spent a good couple of hours here this morning trying to understand the bizarre complexities of the 'wiring'. He managed to rearrange a few things so that switches next to lights were the ones that turned them on and off, and (hopefully) that there aren't any weird conditional switches hidden elsewhere- originally the porch light would only work if the kitchen lights were on
I have also managed to get tickets for Scouting for Girls concert later in the year. Woohoo! Elvis isn't dead!
And wasn't tonights Doctor Who fantastic. Just loved the whole 'alternative timeline' storyline. Just seeing how all the elements would have panned out if the Donna hadn't met the doctor. Lots of things changed- such as the death of Torchwood and Sarah Jane! But the best bit... the absolute BEST bit.... was the final two words. The return of BAD WOLF! I got goosepimples!

First BBC wales get the new series of Doctor Who
Then Cardiff gets Torchwood
And now Cardiff gets Alien visitors!

LONDON (AFP) - UFO enthusiasts got a boost Friday when Welsh police confirmed that one of their helicopter crews had spotted an "unusual aircraft" flying over Cardiff earlier this month. An investigation into the sighting had been launched, they said.

The police clarification came after The Sun reported a UFO had "attacked" a police helicopter, following it for several miles over the Bristol Channel. "The pilot banked sharply to avoid being hit, then launched into a high-speed pursuit. But he was forced to give up the chase as the helicopter's fuel ran low -- and the UFO escaped," the tabloid reported. The helicopter crew had described the object as "flying saucer-shaped and circled by flashing lights," it added.

"Err... " not so, said the police.

"South Wales Police can confirm its air support unit sighted an unusual aircraft. This was reported to the relevant authorities for their investigation," police said in a brief statement, avoiding the use of the term 'UFO', or unidentified flying object.

At the time of the incident, the helicopter with three men on board was waiting to land at the St Athan RAF base near Cardiff. The sighting reportedly took place at 00:40 am (23:40 GMT) on June 8.

South Wales Police denied there was a pursuit and indicated that the helicopter crew was never in any danger.

YOu want my opinion? I reckon that there is an alien version of celebrity tours and they have popped by to see where they are shooting the new series of Torchwood. Perhaps they can get bit parts. Damn these fame hungry TV obsessed Shallow aliens!

Saturday Morning.... I am up early waiting for the electrician
A few months ago I posted about the strange behaviour of our conservatory and porch lights. They have been flashing on and off for no apparent reason. But they hadn't always done that.
Then two days ago a kitchen light bulb blew. and ever since, the conservatory and porch lights have been working fine. Strange lights
It's quite cold and grey outside at the moment.
Maybe I will make myself a toasted cheese and Marmite sandwich.
And maybe sit in a chair. I like chairs

Type in what the questions ask you into google search and use the first thing that comes up as your answer.

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
CJ Needs Friends. That is soo true
Hehe. The second one is CJ Needs Laxatives!

2. Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
I will ignore the first one which says 'what my CJ looks like' and go for the second one
CJ looks like an innocent floral-printed pouch

3. Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
CJ likes chairs! Nice!

4. Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Cj Says F@ck da Corps. I'm not sure why though
The second on is CJ says Relax!

5. Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Apparently CJ wants to snack on the camera!

6. Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
CJ Does the Jackal.

7. Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search
CJ hates fat people. That is NOT true!

8. Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
CJ goes flying (not that exciting) but the second one is 'CJ goes public with what happened' ... intriguing.

9. Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
CJ loves Simon.
Lucky Simon

10. Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
CJ has a room to rent in a flatshare in Manchester.
Anyone up for it?

11. Type in "[your name] gets" in the Google search:
CJ gets superpowers! Hahaha I like that one!

12. Type in "[your name] eats" in the Google search:
CJ eats a worm

13. Type in "[your name] can" in the Google search:
CJ can fly. Well i did go flying earlier I suppose

14. Type in "[your name] drinks" in the Google search:
CJ Drinks the air. That doesn't even make sense.

15. Type in "[your name] makes" in the Google search:
And CJ make 3. SOunds like I'm a gooseberry somewhere. I hope it's not with Mario and Lisa!

Big Brother's Alex is... The Hellraiser

I just love this crop circle. And how it is related to the number Pi. It even has the decimal point in it!
Oh, the fun of being a Maths teacher

Okay, I am now going to write the "What I did on my Holidays" post

Admit it, you're all dying to know

So I have done my little bit of packing. I have got all my toiletries in a box ready to put into a clear plastic bag.
I have my passport and some money and a huge pack of paperwork.
And now the biggest problem. I have to be up at 2am. But there is no way I can go to bed now, I am not tired at all. So it looks like I will be having very little sleep tonight. And when we get there we go straight to work. SO we are all going to be knackered tomorrow. Phew!

I think I will go to bed after Big Brother

Does anyone fly regularly? Not in a Nathan Petrelli sort of way, but using the conventional methods of aeroplanes?
I don't fly often, and as I have mentioned I am flying out very early in the Morning and I wondered if the stupid liquid ban is still in force. Considering that we have been asked to have hand luggage only, do I have to put all my toiletries in a clear plastic bag for all of security to laugh at peruse? Does it still include toothpaste, deodorant and shampoo? If so I may have to come up with alternatives.
I can live without shampoo- all I have to do is shave my hair off. In stead of taking deodorant I will instead take a pack of Flash anti-bacterial wipes- just take one out and wipe under my arms. Not only will it keel any germs, it should also leave me with a lemony fresh scent.
As for toothpaste, I may just take some peppermints, crush them up and use that is toothpaste.
See problem solved!

I have received this emal..

Hello,

Hello

I saw your work on textadventures.co.uk and would like to know if you interest in my project.

At last I m getting some recognition for the games I have created.

I would like to make a text version of 'The Secret of Monkey Island'.

Ooh, I really like the Monkey Island games. But that sounds like quite a daunting task

I can use the game dialogues and story but I need a ghostwriter to convert each game's graphics to a text version/description.

A ghost writer? What do they do? And now I start thinking that perhaps this person hasn't seen my work, otherwise they'd know just how bad my spelling and descriptions can be

My budget for the full work is 800 US$. (400 first and 400 when the work is done).

Not exactly rolling in money then

Are you interested in this work ?

Thank you for your answer.

And that's how it ends. No signature.... in fact, come to think of it, they haven't even addressed it to me. I am beginning to think that this person hasn't really picked me out of hundreds of people because of my talent after all!

Bah!

I did something today that I don't normally do. I went into the restaurant where my OH works, and had a cooked breakfast. She is the head chef there and personally cooked me my breakfast.

After I finished she asked 'How was it'

"Great. I didn't know you could cook this well"

Hmmm.... I may be wearing my dinner tonight!

The Passage of the Peanut
By CJ

I am a little peanut, in your stomach I will sit
Waiting for your juices to reduce me down to poo
Soon your gates will open, through your guts I'm gonna pass
And no sooner have you shoved me in, I'm shooting out your other end

If you like my poems, read more here.

.. But she is next to me on her laptop and she has just said
"You know that R2D2 from star wars"
"Yes"
"How do you spell it?"

I am enjoying this evil BB task that is being shown at the moment. There is a huge wire track that two of the housemates have to guide a metal hoop around. If it touches the track it makes a buzzer go , and the housemates, who are wearing suits with 'muscle stimulating' pads, are giving shocks! Heehee.
Talking of BB, isn't Alex obnoxious!

Ooh, I have just spotted the no-tail fox in the garden.... damn, I never have the camera when I need it

The Darkness
By CJ
The darkness holds beneath its veil
A place to hide the weak and frail
The shadow guards the truth beyond
So none in light can see the bond
That binds the frightened and the shattered
And those whose presence rarely mattered
But strength within the darkness shows
And strength in shared adversity grows
To overcome the darkened gaze
And set the new found strength ablaze

There seems to be a few posts about sleep lately, so I thought I would add mine. Last night I was sooooo tired that by 9pm I was almost dead to the world. So we went to bed. And we slept for 9 hours! Tonight, I am now getting very tired again. What is it? Is it the weather that's really making us tired?

Now I am going to put this in the right place- that'll teach me to have too many windows open

Last night I took my OH to the theatre. WE saw On The Bus, which is a charity concert featuring Lee Mack and Harry Hill. IT is like a variety/comedy night. And it was bloody fantastic! Paul Zenon was good with his own brand of comedy and tricks. Harry Hill was mad! How he doesn't have a heart attack on stage I will never know. But our favourite is Lee Mack- A fantastic comedian (and the reason why I booked the tickets), he has a quick mind and can turn a quick answer from the audience into something to laugh at.
But who is best? Harry or Lee? There is only one way to find out....... FIGHT!

I have just come in from work. The garage door was open. My OH must have left it open accidentally this morning before going to work. I don't think anything has gone missing. It is her birthday.
Should I tell her that she left it open, or should I forget it?

It's Sunday Morning and I had quite a lie in- which is good because I didn't sleep too well yesterday.
This morning I have to...... do some wrapping. It is my OH's birthday tomorrow and I still have to wrap her gifts. Unfortunately her main one hasn't arrived. I had bought a piece of furniture off eBay which is being shipped from India. But the ship is still not here. I phoned up the guy from this post again. And he was just as helpful as he was before. He was too reluctant to say anything. "When it's on the water it's on the water" Thanks!
Also I am taking my OH out tomorrow night to see a 'show' of sorts. But I am a bit worried as to what it will be like. I won't give details now (keep you in suspense) plus I have a few other bits and pieces. Wrapping shouldn't take too long.
Then I'll do some reports some serious playstation time.

I found it hard this morning... to sleep that is. I got up early. And did all my marking. Several hours later I had marked all the exam papers I brought home. YAWN! And that's only touching the surface of what I have to do. Now I have to write reports on all my classes. Man, that takes weeks! (And one of my least favourite parts of the job)- My mate works in a school where all the reports are computer generated and all you have to do is tick the box on the screen that applies to what you want to say. I wish we had that system!
Also today I got my little play thing out. I haven't played with it for ages, not since it's bigger sister has been getting all my attention. Obviously I am referring to my PSP. I stopped playing Vice City Stories ages ago because I couldn't get past this one mission- and trying it kept annoying me. I must admit I am a bit like that when it comes to games. If it is too hard I just give up!
But I have now recently rediscovered just how much joy my little hand-held can give me

How to survive in Midsomer
1) If you have no reason to move there. Then Don't!
2) If you