That went well.

I am home now. That rehearsal went well- Which is remarkable considering how it sounded yesterday!
I am now watching tonights Eastenders. GUS GROW A SPINE!
Gus (After being tied up and tortured by Sean) He as trying to kill me
Stacey: But We're mates
Gus: oh, I'll let him off then!

Id be on that blower quicker than a prossy with a monkey!

So...... will anyone be getting Grand Theft Auto IV tomorrow?
I have got mine on order through Amazon but it wont be coming tomorrow. I ill be happy if I get it by the weekend though
A three day bank holiday.... with a new game to play (Although I am quite enjoying Lego Star Wars)

It's been a horror filled Sunday...
Firstly I watched Hostel, a film I recorded from Sky. It was gruesome! But I was pleasantly surprised that there was a vague plot- I thought it would just be gratuitous sex and violence (And I get enough of that at home)
Then I decided to do some ...... Ironing! (I know! The horror!)
The one good thing about ironing is that you can do it in front of the telly. So I watched Resident Evil: Extinction whilst ironing. On Blu-ray as well - wicked!
Then, when my OH came home- we watched Mr Bean's Holiday- which isn't really a horror- although some people would think so. And it reminded me just how good the song 'Crash' is. Even though Matt Willis sings it (And that's the horror- I actually like a Matt Willis song

This morning I went to town and managed to get hold of this.....

TO add to my collection.
I am now going to watch this.....

In prepeaation for seeing this tonight.

Because I am part of the stone age, I don't understand modern technology. All I want to do is find a site that I can download songs from (Mp3) and then load them onto my iRiver so I can listen to them.

I have tried a couple of different sites, I can download them to play on my laptop- but when i put them on my iRiver they wont play. They just skip onto the next track.

It really is annoying. I wish I had an electronic head

Happy Birthday FaffaJane

Jokes from the Edinburgh Festival

Dodo died, Dodi died, Di died, Dando died... Surely Dido's looking a bit worried.
Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly

I saw Lee Majors the bionic man the other day on the Royal Mile. He looked a million dollars... he's really let himself go...
Eddie Bannon at the Gilded Balloon

Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
Adam Bloom at the Pleasance

My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, 'cause they wanted me to sound like a twat.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly

Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital? A: The ultrasound people.
David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day.. She said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said, "All right, but we won't get much done."
Jimmy Carr at the International Conference Centre

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well.
Scott Capurro at the Pleasance

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
Jimmy Carr at the International Conference Centre

You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Shit, I wasn't listening ... Self-raising?"
Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
Jimmy Carr at the International Conference Centre

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the girl out of Cork...
Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco

A quick way to lose weight: subtract your birth weight, because you haven't gained that part.
Carsten Bang, from Danish Comedy, at the Gilded Balloon

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

Me hot water heaters packed up so I had to fill the bath using a kettle and a load of saucepans... Mind, it was effing uncomfortable when I got in.
Seymour Mace at Café Royal

Hey - you want to feel really handsome? Go shopping at Asda.
Brendon Burns at the Pleasance

Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... What a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus!
Seymour Mace at Café Royal

I like the Ten Commandments but have a problem with the ninth. It should be: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's ox" - except in scrabble
David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon

It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance

I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.
Arnold Brown at The Stand

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that
Milton Jones at the Underbelly

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance

50 Cent, or as he's called over here, approximately 29p.
Sarah Kendall at the Pleasance

I'm this European Dream since I was brought on
It Don't matter if I step on your spleen
Or sneak a way to help the Chelsea Dream
They're still gonna put pictures of my own goal in the magazine
You want a Riise me?
You want a Riise me.

I'm this bad media karma
Another goal another drama
Guess I can't see the harm
Of heading into the arms of Reina
And with the Kop on my back
I'm an exceptional Wiener
And you want a Riise me

I love this Lifestyle of the rich and famous
(You want a Riise me)
I'm pissed off. Oh my God that own goal’s Shameless
(You want a Riise me)
And in this Extra! Extra! Time it’s in
(You want Riise me)
And over Reina’s head I headed it in
(You want a Riise me)

Ever since AJ bought my attention to Weird Al's unique style of music I thought I would try to get hold of some albums. I already have Running with scissors (which I play constantly in the car), but I wanted more.
Even Chris Moyles plays the stuff on the radio, which is where I heard the song eBay.
So I went on to.... Ebay and bid on a copy of Poodle Hat.
And it arrived today
Now I can hear eBay in loud stereo.

PS My OH loves it too

.. well actually Easter was over a month ago, but the 'Spring Break' (Which always reminds me of those American shows.. or Ross going to spring break in Friends) is now done. Two week off have flown by like a huge .... er..... fly!
And we have had some good weather. At the moment though it is wee-ing down. So miserable weather to go back to work with. Ho hum. It is my last term at my job, and even though this year has been easier slightly, I am glad to be going.
This week I have been playing a lot of Sims 2. And for the first time, I was turned into a vampire! How the hell due I cure that? It make is hard getting to work.

(An Eastenders related post)

Would you rather.....
Have Shaun Slater serve you up Dog Bolognese

or

Get sex advice from Ian Beale?

It's a hard one (according to Ian Beale)

On Tuesday my OH and I went to Brighton for the day. The weather was lovely... but I can't believe I forgot to take the camera!
We walked on the pier for a bit and saw some students trying the coconut shy. There were two guys one girl and the guys were so obviously trying to impress the girl. But the boys couldn't knock the coconuts down. However the girl got a coconut down on the first try! She got very excited...... until she was told that the rules were "You have to knock off two coconuts with three balls to get a prize! She missed the with the other two! But what a swizz! She didn't even win the coconut
We were following behind these students for a while, there was one really posh guy (judging by what he as wearing) but someone had cut his hair really badly- it was all slanted at the back.
The girl was saying "In Bristol, my favourite thing is cheesy chips. We always have cheesy chips"
And the posh guy (obviously still trying to impress) said "Oh yes. In Oxford they do cheesy ships too. There are hardly any normal chip shops there anymore"

Yesterday, we decided to clear out the garage a bit more. And took a load of stuff to the dump. We have also set aside some stuff for charity shops. We had three bags of cuddly toys that we have collected over the years.... which we decided to donate. SO we went through them to see if we wanted to keep any (for sentimental reasons) and by the end we had decided to keep... three bags! How can we dump them?

Sometimes I am prone to spoonerisms, swapping the starter letters of words around. Sometimes it's purposeful, other times it's accidental.
I did this yesterday after I shaved. What I wanted to say was 'I cut myself shaving'
My OH was rather surprised when instead I appeared to admit that I 'shat myself caving'
...
..
But to be honest if I did go caving again, I probably would.

**One
Word.**
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you might think*. Remember: one word answers.

Where is your mobile phone? Table
Your significant other? Work
Your hair? Short
Your mother? recovering
Your father? Dead
Your favourite thing? sight
Your dream last night? work
Your favorite drink? Tea
Your dream/goal? happiness
The room you're in? Lounge
Your ex? distant
Your fear? Loneliness
Where do you want to be in 6 years? home
Where were you last night? pub
What you're not? smurf
One of your wish list items? House
Where you grew up? Estate
The last thing you did? Dress
What are you wearing? Suit
Your TV? massive
Your pets? nonexistent
Your computer? Lappy
Your life? workable
Your mood? hungover
Missing someone? Yes
Your car? French
Something you're not wearing? burberry
Favourite Store? Next
Your summer? Holiday
Like someone? No
Your favourite colour? Pink
Last time you laughed? now
Last time you cried? Saturday

Difficult

Kid: Do you always wear a suit?
Me: Pretty much
Kid: Do you go to bed in a suit?
Me: No, that would be silly
Kid: Oh
Me: Anyway it's normally ringing wet after the shower

It's Lander's Friday Five.

1. What was the last book your read?
Trying to remember. Probably the Harry Potter book. Oh and Against the Law by Peter Wildeblood. Fascinating account!

2: What are you reading now?
The Righteous Men by Sam Bourne. It is a thriller type (similar to Dan Brown) with a Jewish twist. "Someone is killing all the righteous men"

3. What one book do you wish you had written?
The Yes Man by Danny Wallace. Firstly I would have loved to have the guts to have done that challenge

4. Who is your favourite author?
Still has to be David Feintuch. Loved the Hope Series (Sci Fi)

5. I recommend you read...?
Warning signs at the edge of cliffs. They are there for a reason you know!

I have just set up a Telly addicts group. It was an idea inspired by Znethru. If you want to join, come along

You can chat about any TV show you like, or are looking forward to.

I am going to talk about the weather again....
During the night it rained heavily!
When I got up the sun was shining.
Then half hour later it was grey and horrible again
Now it is sunny again....no wait... it's grey again.
I wish the weather would make up it's mind. I think the weather should be like clothing. Mr Weather should wake up in the morning and choose what weather it wants to put on and then stay in the same for the day.

Talking of clothes..... my new shoes seems to eat shoe laces. I have gone through a few pairs now. It's because they have these metal eyes which have quit sharp edges. I wish I hadn't bought them... but they are so comfortable. Oh well Shoelace-icide is a small price to pay for comfort.

A challenge set down by LA_Spice after watching come dine with me tonight. Who would I choose to dine with.

Well obviously I would invite Kate Moss, Pete Doherty and Naomi Campbell. Invite them to a caravan high up on the cliff-sde. And whilst they were fighting over the tin foil that I baked the fish in, I would nip outside and ....... ooops! What an accident

But an a more serious note. Who would I choose? If it is like the program it would be people that I would cook for and be happy to have cook for me... so that lets Jamie Oliver out. People I would be happy in the company of- down to earth......
hmmm....
My first choice would be... Danny Wallace. He seems like good fun, down to earth and not pretentious.
My second would be... Felicity Kendall. I think she would have some interesting stories to tell. And would make some good food too I bet.
My third would be...... er..... Peter Crouch. I can ask him about life as a geeky soccer star. And if things fall flat, he could dance for us.

So ther you go. CJ, Danny Wallace, Felicity Kendall and Peter Crouch

Grey and Miserable... but enough about me- the weather is pretty grim too. Which is a shame because it has been so nice over the past two days. Who would have believed that less than a week ago there was snow!
And that damn weather man got it wrong. He said it would be horrible this week. My OH and I were planning on going to Brighton for the day on her day off, but decided against it because of the weather report- but it was nice and we could have gone. Never mind. We managed to get a bit of housework done and I finally managed to understand how to work the sewing machine.

By the Way... Happy Birthday Random Ninja

I don't often look forward to returns in soaps. Like Dirty Den (Big Mistake) and Bet from Corrie (What happened to that return?)

But Eastenders have plugged this Ricky and Bianca return a lot. I think there is a lot of mileage here. I hope it works

Here is the Jackson five promo

What a thrilling match... Liverpool v Arsenal. Another Penalty decision and some great goals near the end. 4-2 and we're through the Semi's

But I have to say I do like reading some of the comments on the BBC website

2014: Rafael Benitez is frantically making notes. "I have made a mess of my team selection," he might well be writing.

And

2109: Arsenal are on top now just about... which probably means Liverpool will score in a minute.

Followed three minutes later by...

2112: GOAL Liverpool 2-1 Arsenal (agg 3-2)
See? Fernando Torres controls Peter Crouch's flick, turns and fires into the top corner. A brilliant, brilliant goal from the Spaniard.

This was a headline in an advert in our local paper.....

Our closing down sale was so popular....
We decided to stay open

Somehow I feel I ought to get my money back!

I have been tagged by MKFunky to do this. Read it and be unimpressed weep
The Rules -
1. Link to the person?s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

Random/weird facts......
1) I once threw w chess board at my brother because he was annoying me so much. He was fine but I broke the heads off one of the pawns.
2) I once bunked off school, hid in the park and was propositioned by a dirty old man. He offered my £5 for a blowie
3) I was thrown out of a peep show when I was a teenager.
4) I believe that I have experienced evil spirits and seen a ghost. I didn't tell my family as they are religious. I have recently found out that my brother has also seena ghost but was afraid to tell the family too.
5) When I was a young boy (about 10) I was attacked by a gang of 8 boys in a park. A passer by came to my aid and they scarpered. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't have come by. (I haven't thought about that incident for ages)
6) I often think that I was born in the wrong decade. I would have suited the twenties.
7)When I was about nine I once woke up and had lost the use of my legs. I couldn' walk for days. Eventually the feeling came back but it was really weird!

There you go. Some random stuff.

Now I have to tag someone. Apologies if you've already been tagadoodledoo-ed

Hebburndelboy
The real linda
Faffajane
la spice
Beanyem
MArikasunseeker
I dont know why

I have just written a quick review of Son Of Rambow, which I saw at the weekend. (That reminds me, I saw several films during my time when I was dis-interneted! I must write reviews for them) Anyway, the film got me thinking about Foreign exchange students. There is a character in the film who is supposed to be a cool French students from the Eightees. At first glance the character seems a bit exaggerated- but I remember French students just like that! With the leather trousers and that floppy hair.

I personally didn't have a French foreign student, but I did have a German one. His name was Ollie. And he was a right pain! He used to phone his girlfriend from our house. When I asked him if he was phoning Germany he said "NO! She is not in Germany. She is holidaying in America at moment"
And the when we went to someone else's house for a party.... He (and a friend) decided to spin each other around very fast as a game- and then went and broke a very expensive table!
I was relieved when he went home!
Anyone else have a Foreign student that was a nightmare?

No-more Snow-more
All melty melty

So Doctor Who was back on last night. Woohoo! But did anyone else think that he just shouldn't have interfered? I mean... what a great symbiotic relationship that would have created- we could eat as much as we wanted and got rid of the excess fat by helping the developent of another life form. Hehe
Anyway, that aside... does anyone else think that something has been set up for a series story arc? What was Rose doing there at the end? How did she find her way back? Or did she? OR was it something to do with what happens when you have two sonic devices working on each other? And is that the last we'll see of the sonic pen- as it was thrown in the same bin as the keys? So many questions....

After DW last night, my OH and I went out for dinner. It was very nice. TO have a roast dinner cooked for us. Good company (Me, my OH her best friend and her partner and parents- the same crew that went to the greek evening.) Spent a long time chatting and drinking- so we got a lift back. It was midnight by the time we got home. We will have to get the car back this afternoon though. And.... I think that is the first dinner party we have EVER been to. Ooooh. We are getting so Soffistikated now

When issued a challenge to use the word horticulture in a sentence, came up with this proverb

"you can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."