"I whipped it out and waved it around, but the man wasn't happy until I pushed it in" Obviously I am talking about petrol pumps. I am sure that I have never had this problem before. I pulled up the petrol pump and took the nozzle out of the holder. Then I waited. I am sure that this is what I always do. I wait for the man behind the counter to turn me on. But today he didn't. Today he just grimaced at me through the window. Then he picked up the loud speaker and spoke into it. "Blueh Mummur Grrr Heurgh The Hoooe" he said. I was sure this wasn't a real sentence. I had no idea what he said, but he was pointing at me and making horrible faces. Then he repeated it "Blueh Mummur Grrr Heurgh The Hoooe". For some reason he must have thought that saying it louder would make it more understandable. Why do they even bother with those tanoy things. No-one ever understands them! So there I was holding the nozzle waiting for the guy to switch it on. It says on the petrol pump "There may be a small delay between lifting the nozzle and the pump starting." No where did it say... "there may be a small annoying man yelling at you between lifting the nozzle and the pump starting"

Anyway I wasn't going to stand there all day with everyone watching me, so I replaced the nozzle and went into the station. "You've got to put the nozzle in the hole for it to work" "Really? I enquired " I am sure I've never had to before "Okay then" So I did.

And it worked.

And I got out of there quickly!

Luckily I don't think anyone noticed