Many years ago there was a magazine called what hifi. It helped you buy a hifi. My OH has been looking today and there isnt one anymore. In fact we dont seem to be able to get a hifi anymore- one with seperates with a tape deck and a record player.

So our plea is- can we get them anymore and does anyone know where from.

And I have another plea. - does anyone know if there is a fancy gizmo you can buy which you can plug into the computer to record records and tapes as mp3 files? Anyone? I will let you have one of my fizzy trick or treat sweets

I am having a citrus sort of day. I have just got in from work and had a coke with 'citrus' zest. I suppose that's coke's way of putting the lemon and lime in together. I used to love Coke with lime but not so keen on the lemon twist. Perhaps Coca Cola realised they were being left with too much lemon and decided to pour them into one big vat together.
And with that I had some toast with Lime marmalade. Hmmm, nice
And I also wore my orange tie today- which is unusual because I tend to go with blues and pinks.
And I have aso had an orange flavoured drumstick lolly which I stole from the 'Trick or Treaters' TARDIS cookie jar. My OH buys some sweets just in case we have some youngsters with their parents coming round on Halloween night. Last year we did have a few kids- which is OK as long as they're accompanied by adults. Plus I like the fact that only a few kids ever come round so I end up eating the sweets myself I also think my OH knows this and buys them just for me really-

What do we think about trick or treaters? I heard the news reports about some shops banning the sales of eggs and flour just to stop possible 'trick' attacks. Is that a step too far? Pity poor Johnny who's birthday it is but will never get a cake because they have been stopped from buying the ingredients.

What is the square root of a 69?

Eight something

I just spent ages laughing at the joke- that's how sad I am.
.
In Maths function land, everyone gets on very well. Except for e^x, a shy little function. His best friend x^2 saw how sad he was and said "Don't be sad and alone, you should go out and meet more functions. Why not go and integrate yourself"
But e^x just looked sad and said "I would, but it wouldn't change anything"

hands up if you get it. I'm still laughing- but mostly at how sad I am!

I don't often get surprised by TV votes shows. But tonights Strictly Come Dancing bottom two has totally thrown me. There is no way that Penny and Gabby should have been the bottom 2. Why wasn't Kate in the bottom 2 or Kenny Logan or even John Barnes Or Dominic Shinyhead.

Bizarre!

That's Joe Public for you (I blame the GMTV viewers- Perhaps GMTV are doing one of their fake TV votes where they think they are phoning in for a competition but really they are voting for Kate Garroway!)

Poltergiest- the movie!
Poltergeist was the first scary/horror movie I ever saw. I was quite young, younger than the 15 it is rated. Unfortunately my parents couldn't stop me from watching it as they were there with me in another seat. You see it was being played on the TV screen of a coach as we were travelling through the night on holiday. And I was determined to watch it. I remember being quite scared at the man ripping his own face off.
And now it has been released on DVD and I've just watched it. And I got to relive that scary night on the coach- perhaps I shouldn't have got my OH to shake the sofa around so much or make traffic noises in my ear!

A REMINDER. CLOCKS GO BACK AN HOUR TONIGHT!

We get an extra hour in bed. However I do find I spend most of that extra hour in the morning going around all my clocks putting them back an hour!

And there are so many clocks everywhere now- especially on electrical things! And if you are not technical minded but you still want your clocks to show the right time, why not post your clocks to France! That way they will show the right time without the hassle of changing them

A quick X-factor post. I have just watched tonights lot and here are a few thoughts.
I wasn't looking forward to hearing the Slitheen Dion song being tortured, but it was Niki that sang it and she is good! And she was very good. Probably my favourite performance of the night. My second favourite performance was by Hope, the fake girl group created just for the show. They did a raunchy version of 'voulez vents cashew avec moi swiss roll'. Very watchable.

My least favourite had to be the boys. Leon and Daniel were dreadful and Andy was just bearable with his Staying Alive thing. Rhydian is just Panto villain (but does have a goodish voice) and the fake boy band, Future Bombproof, were dull!

However I think the bottom two will be both of Sharons again. Emily and Alisha. I wonder if Sharon will throw another fit?

I got three pieces of post today. On of the was a catalogue from Forbidden Planet. Out of the other two, one of the was another of the same catalogue from Forbidden Planet. And the other was the same catalogue for the third time.
Well done Forbidden Planet- I love your stuff but your database needs a real overhaul!

It's Saturday and it's the age old dilemma- X factor or Dirty Dancing. We have gone for the X factor and taped the Dancing show- mostly because of when the results show is on. Celine Dion is going to be on it- and on and on and on....... I bet one of them sings that tonight

Oh and later- it's that Halloween treat (or is it mostly trick?) yes the most Haunted crew are out and about love again So get ready for some table tipping, stone throwing and a whole host of 'Did anybody else hear that?' Maybe Kreed Kafer will make an appearance?

Friday.
Crunchie.
Thankful.
Watched Saw.
Ate Curry.
Armstrong and Miller.
Beer.

Any Questions?

Today my OH and I went out. A friend of ours had got tickets for this and we decided to tag along. And we made a day of it. We got into London early for lunch- MacDonalds (well it was a treat for the kids) and my friend mistook the salt sachet for the sugar and had the most disgusting cup of tea! After lunch we headed over to the Millennium big wheel past the juggler, the living statue (who really was attracting the pigeons) and the man with no head!
WE decided to go to the O2 via the boat- which was really good fun. The show was entertaining- for me the best bit was the Jungle book scene with all the dancing monkeys! The kids enjoyed it- although the merchandise was extortionate. £9 for a bag of popcorn with a freaky mask!!!.
WE came back via the boat again and back home by 8pm. All in all a good day.

So it was coming up to 7:30 and I was wondering whether to go or not. Did I want to be part of Biggins Bouncy Ball Bonanza? But there is no gain in cowardice, so I went ahead. When I got there I noticed it was couples. Damnit! If this continues I will have no-one to dance with. As I sat there, like in a dentists waiting room, a woman turned to me and said "Are you on your own?" "Yes" I replied. "Oh good, my friend is coming and she needs a man" I wasn't sure how to take this. I had this horrible fear that it might turn out to be like that woman from Eastenders (The one that now works with Patrick). Oh well, Sumo wrestling is still dancing of a sort. Then two single women came in and they were OK. So I relaxed a bit.
I was very disappointed that the person running it wasn't the spitting image of Christopher Biggins. Even though he sounded a bit like him, he looked more like the secret love child between Bruce Forsythe and Pete Beale! I was expecting him to try and sell me apples. "What price for the apples? Higher or Lower? Higher? You say Higher. No that's a pear. And we get nothing for a pear. Not in this game"
As for the dancing, out of all the dances we could have tried, the quick step and the jive were not my favourite- but they were the ones we did. It was Okay. Hard work but Okay. It was difficult getting the ballroom pose and making sure I was getting in between between my partners legs (Something I have always struggled with).
And with all the old couples it felt like an old fashioned tea dance- and they really did serve tea half way through! Seriously!
But the big question is will I go again? WE'll have to wait and see.

I popped into town today to find out details about this Ballroom class. And sure enough there was information on the door of the town hall. So I took a leaflet and phoned the number
"Hmm mmm hmmm hmmmmm" came the reply.
"Er.. Is there someone there to ask about details for the dance class"
"Er... yes that would be me. Excuse me I have a mouthful of bread" Great! Well there are worse thing he could have had a mouthful of. The conversation was extremely bizarre. He sounded very ... er ... enthusiastic. Like a bouncy Christopher Biggins!
"Are there many people that go?"
"Oh yes we have about 8 couples"
"Ah" I said" It will just be me. Will that be Okay"
"Oh yessssss! We do have a couple of single women there. In fact they just said to me last week I hope there would be more single men. Heehee. I could make a killing if it was a dating agency. But I don't want to go down that route!"
"No. That wouldn't do" I replied, now feeling a bit worried. Perhaps the tiger lady is there! "That wouldn't do at all." I reinforced, trying to make it clear!

Oh well, It will be an interesting evening at the Biggins Ballroom class for Beginners.

A pome what I wrote. Who knows where I drew the idea from

You need a receipt
A Poem by CJ

'Cos you need a receipt
You're full of deceit
How do I know you're not trying to cheat?
To be honest you're coming across as a moaner
I'd expect more from the company owner!

The gas man came today. We have been having a few problems with the heating. He came and fiddled with my knob. But I wasn't getting any hotter. Eventually he did mange to raise my temperature, but not after a serious going over with his equipment.
Also today I have been spending some time watching Family Guy, which I managed to buy in ASDA (dare I say it, I hope th DVD's work OK as I haven't got the receipt). I bought series 2-5 all for £16 quid each- which I thought was a good deal. I have only got through half of series 2, but I loved the 'Road to Rhode Island' episode. Great parody of the Road to song!
When my OH came home tonight, she had some news for me. Apparently in town she noticed a notice (Noticed a notice? Is that allowed in English?) which advertised some ballroom classes- something to investigate, it will make a different option to the 'Miles away club' or the 'seedy sex club'

I have just... done all the marking that I brought home. I have spent all evening on it so I am chuffed. I normally leave it til the Sunday before I go back.

Yay for me

Something happened to me today that reminded me of something that happened to me many years ago when I was young. I once came very close to death (or at least a very nasty accident)
When I was young I was nearly crushed by a falling lampshade. A heavy glass chandeliery thing it was that obviously wasn't attached very well as it fell it came crashing down just millimetres in front of me and shattered. (Have I blogged this before?) I do wonder what would have happened if only I had been a few inches in front. It as a lucky escape.
And today a light bulb fell on top of me. Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps there is somoeone who has a contract out on me.... but who????
....
....
....
And then I remembered.... The Russian Mafia. Perhaps they have an Assassins, light fixtures and fittings division

OH well, I suppose I had better come clean. Today I made a little bit of a fool of myself in ASDA. I am not going to apologise for my behaviour, and I am not going to justify it, but I do want this blog to reflect the things that I do, and that may include some of the more 'forgettable' incidents I find myself in. And maybe, someone out there will understand why I ended up throwing a little childish tantrum at the Customer Service desk, and not judge me for it.
It all started due to my Plasytation3. OR it's Blu-Ray DVD capabilities. I decided to buy a blu ray film (They look amazing on our TV). And so I did. The thing is, and I am sure I am not the only one, I tend to buy loads of DVD films and it might be ages before I watch them. My other big confession is.... I am useless at keeping receipts, I may keep them for a bit, but after a while they got lost or thrown out.
Anyway, back to the film. My OH and I were having a nice night in (again) and decided to watch a film. So I pulled out my blue one and slipped it in (Stop making up your on jokes there) Only to find that it didn't work. That's when I found out that the ASDA person had given me a HD-DVD version of the film and not a Blu Ray version. It wouldn't work!
So today I tried to return it- without a receipt. I was hoping that this wouldn't matter seeing as it still had the ASDA label on it. I bet you're all thinking "Trying to change something without a receipt? You'll never get away with that." And I very nearly didn't.
Young Spotty Youth: Can I help you?
Me: I hope so, I bought this a while ago I wanted blu-ray but you have given my HD-DVD. So it doesnt work.
Young spotty Youth: Hmmmm (He checks the disk)
Me: I don't think there is anything wrong with it, except that I was given the wrong one
Young spotty youth: Have you got the receipt? (The question I was dreading)
ME: Not with me at the moment.
Young Spotty youth: I will have to call the manager over
Manager: How can I help you
Me: I bought this a while ago I wanted blu-ray but you have given my HD-DVD. So it doesnt work.
Manager: Have you got the receipt?
Me: Not at the moment
Manager: Then no. How did you pay for it?
Me: By card
Manager: Well if you bring in the bank statement as proof then maybe I'll consider it.

It was at this point I decided to make a nuisance of myself.... I am not proud of this but it worked. I threw a little tantrum.
Me: I have come a long way here, I use this shop a lot. Can I just say I have done nothing wrong here. I have bought a product I cannot use and paid a lot of money for it. I am not to blame and I am being victimised....
Manager: Okay lets see what we can do. Because I can see that you bought it here (the sticker was still on it) and it was our mistake in the first place, I am sure that we can make a straight swap.

And I got the correct version. So that little incident got the right result! So is that me standing up for my rights as a customer or does throwing childish tantrums really annoy people.

PS: I would like to thank ASDA here, they didn't have to, but they did! I appreciate that. Thumbs up form me, and I will continue to shop there.

I have always been amazed at extras on TV shows. I love the way they overact. I have just been watching an episode of Stargate Atlantis and as the camera was doing a pan across the set, in the background you could see a man in a white coat (a doctor presumably) talking- or miming- to a 'soldier' with a large bandage over his head with big red stain on it. And as the camera panned across, the wounded soldier pointed (in an exaggerated fashion) to his blood stained bandage, while the doctor nodded. Now I know I read too much into things and this was only supposed to background action. But how do you expect me to believe that there was a conversation occurring where the patient points at a bloody bandage? What on earth could the doctor have asked? "Can you tell me where you were hit?" For crying out loud there is a big bandage there with a huge blood stain! Where do you think he was bloody well hit? My god no wonder the Stargate crew are always in trouble if the medical staff are so inept that they can't even see where an injury is on a man with a bandage!

... but the night is not over.

Who knows what will transpire tonight

Further to my earlier post about merged TV shows... I seem to be watching a mixture of Men Behaving Badly and It ain't half hot mum in the new series of Waterloo Road

Poor BBC. They are having to make cuts in our TV programming and scheduling. Not only does their funding problems mean that programs may be cut, but some programs are being merged.... and it has already started. Last Saturday they decided to merge Robin Hood with an episode of Hustle as the Sheriff of Nottingham tried to con money out of a rather badly accented manager of Hotel Babylon. And on Monday night the BBC went one step too far when they merged Jackanory with Eastenders, and decided to have Pat Butcher read the story 'The Wizard of Oz' "How would you like it if a house fell on you?"- Don't give the script writers ideas

But on ITV they seem to be overdoing things with the merging idea- as seen in Monday's Coronation street, which seemed to be written in a Carry on style- any tired old cliche that could have to Sarah's wedding dress, happened. "Whoooops. There goes the red wine. Didn't see that coming". But it also had a hint of Psycho -(That would be that Platt boy). There was also a hint of Supersize Me- but that might be just the increasing waistline of Todd Grimshaw!

Who knows what will be merged next. Strictly Come Crimewatch?

... what? What do you mean I've mis-heard? Oh! Their real names are Zhirkov and Arshavin. Damn these Russians and their hard to pronounce names.
Still, I watched the game and well, what does this mean? Now there are too many fiddly bits and bobs which all add to the drama. And what will happen if we don't make it through? Apparently the FA will lose millions of pounds. Well perhaps they could cut the wages down of English football players- after all they don't seem to be earning their wage at the moment!

Oh, by the way the score was

England 1-2 Russia

... I hope tehre's something on TV to watch. I have been Russian around all day

"I whipped it out and waved it around, but the man wasn't happy until I pushed it in" Obviously I am talking about petrol pumps. I am sure that I have never had this problem before. I pulled up the petrol pump and took the nozzle out of the holder. Then I waited. I am sure that this is what I always do. I wait for the man behind the counter to turn me on. But today he didn't. Today he just grimaced at me through the window. Then he picked up the loud speaker and spoke into it. "Blueh Mummur Grrr Heurgh The Hoooe" he said. I was sure this wasn't a real sentence. I had no idea what he said, but he was pointing at me and making horrible faces. Then he repeated it "Blueh Mummur Grrr Heurgh The Hoooe". For some reason he must have thought that saying it louder would make it more understandable. Why do they even bother with those tanoy things. No-one ever understands them! So there I was holding the nozzle waiting for the guy to switch it on. It says on the petrol pump "There may be a small delay between lifting the nozzle and the pump starting." No where did it say... "there may be a small annoying man yelling at you between lifting the nozzle and the pump starting"

Anyway I wasn't going to stand there all day with everyone watching me, so I replaced the nozzle and went into the station. "You've got to put the nozzle in the hole for it to work" "Really? I enquired " I am sure I've never had to before "Okay then" So I did.

And it worked.

And I got out of there quickly!

Luckily I don't think anyone noticed

I have just been lying in bed and something has been bothering me. You know how it is... as soon as you've got something on your mind you have to play it out.
And the issue that has been concerning me is.....
Why did Superted call his best friend Spotty?

Doesn't it seem a bit rude to pick on a physical 'attribute' of someone and create a nickname based on it? Yes he has spots! But it wasn't his fault, he was born with them. It's not as if he chose to be spotty. Some friend Superted is! And this is a kids show- a show claiming to promote moral values about helping each other, and the main hero calls his best friend 'Spotty' just because he has spots! No wonder Ginger kids have problems at school.
So the next time someone at school gets called Ginger or Four Eyes, I know who to blame.. Superted!!!!

Or perhaps it isn't Superted's fault. Perhaps Spotty first introduced himself as Spotty! Perhaps it really is his name! IN that case I have serious concerns about the mental stability of his parents. I mean, here they are on a planet called Spot! And they give birth to a Spotty man. And out of all the names they could have chosen, they chose Spotty! How cruel is that? That's tantamount to child abuse! Unless of course everyone gets called Spotty- then that would really make drawing family trees difficult! Or even taking a school register.

And that's been playing on my mind this morning.

Which leads me on to their enemies... Skeleton and Bulk.......

It's another Strictly Come Dancing post- and really if you didn't want to read one, then you've only got yourself to blame- as the CLUE is in the title!!!

Tonight the ladies are dancing, either the Quick step or the Rhumba. And to be honest I never rated the quick step until I saw Penny Lancaster's one. That was good! As expected Alisha was very good. As was Kelly Brook's- unfortunately... because I really wanted to dislike it. Is it me or does Kelly have this whole "Please give me another compliment" thing going on?

HOwever I have noticed a difference in the judges attitudes to the men and women. When it came to oldish clumpy women- the judges weren't kind- (Kate Garroway/Letitia Dean/Stephanie Beecham) however the oldish clumpy men seemed to be hit with the judges (John Barnes and Willie Thorn) Oh well.

If I was to put money on who will go, it would have to be Kate. Although I quite like Anton as a dancer and it would be a shame to see him go.

The men are doing a group dance- The Merenghi. Looks like Barnes has found his groove! And Kenny Logan has lost his!!!!!

And Gethin was good! Eh Sarah?????

Man, I miss my dancing

I am sitting here watching the England match at the moment. A good first half, but a rather poor start to the second.

I went into town earlier today, to see if there is any Christmas shopping I could do. Because last night my OH and I got a rather nasty shock whilst watching TV. (But not quite as bad as when we saw Pat Butcher in bed with Patrick Truman). They said there was only ten weeks until Christmas. That doesn't sound that far away.
But all that I bought was a computer game for myself. I needed a new game because I had finished Splinter Cell Double Agent. Well, I say finished, I got annoyed with it and have decided it's not worth trying again. IT really made me angry actually. I had got all the way to the last scene of the last mission. I had to rescue my boss, kill the terrorists and disarm the bomb. And I got right up to the 'disarm the bomb' part and I saved it just before hand. I tried a couple of times but didn't do it and Boom! Well that's fine. But then I did it! I disarmed the bomb. Congratulations! It said, and then there was a cut scene and when it cut back to me I died instantly! POO! After all that. So I decided to do the mature thing and jump up and down on the box.
Anyway I got myself a game called FolkLore. Yet to see how it goes, but I wasn't really interested in buying another FPS. YAWN!

Duncan and the Dunking Disaster
A poem by CJ
I am sitting in the dining room with Duncan out of Blue
We’re sitting dunking biscuits in a cup of hot Typhoo
But the biscuit Duncan dunked into the tea that he was drinking
Has now broken and is soaking up the tea and started sinking.

According to this report, a man wants to live in a toilet shaped house.

It cost 1.6million dollars....
....
....
He must be a bit flush!

It's Friday. So glad. My OH came home last night and today she has been hobnobbing with celebrities. Well, this person anyway. He came and had someth