This post is about me and my OH and the people we know.
Firstly, we just spotted our landlady outside sunbathing- becaase the weather just got nice!
OH: My god she's out there sunbathing wearing a black dress?
ME: Are you sure it's a dress? Perhaps she's naked and really badly sunburnt.
OH: Ooh. I wondered what the smell was, I thought there was a barbecue somewhere
ME: SHe ought to be careful, or they will call her Moses. Because of her burning bush

We can be quite catty when we want to be

Oh and the other thing that happened today was this. Apparently the place where my OH works has been in contact with a TV company to try and get Gordon Ramsey in. It's for that show where he comes in a criticises everyone in the kitchen to try and turn the business around. My OH is not pleased and has said that she will leave the job if that show happens. And I agree. It's not as if the business is failing, the owners just want to be on TV. But given on past shows, GR picks on anyone and everything and it's just not worth the stress. (Especially with the stress she is under at the moment). This info is only second hand as she is not at work today.

And this post has nothing to do with Big Brother, which I think will please Normal guy, judging by his last two smileysD

Yesterday we went to see The Hound of the Baskervilles. And it was great fun!!! Just three actors playing all the parts. Some good and some silly visual comedy. And a bit of flesh as well, for some reason Henry Baskervile spent quite a bit of time with his trousers off! And he was quite cute! He's the one in the middle!

There were actually a few genuine scary moments. The first and last scene made a few people jump! But the best bit by far was the start to the second act. I won't spoil it but it is fast and hilarious! A great show and definitely worth a watch if you want a distraction. After seeing it, my OH now wants to see The 39 steps!
And so I have to book the next show, but which should it be? I am thinking either Spamelot or Little Shop of Horrors.

We got back at 12:30 last night and we decided to watch the Big brother show (That's the only time I'll mention it)

Tonight is Thursday night and the dance classes start again. And tomorrow there is a Dance evening. Now the next question is, should the Big Guy go back?

...no it's not some kind of weird fantasy of mine, because that would involve more than one of the Nolans! But it's the first Big Brother's Big Mouth. Hosted by Moyles, whom I like and much prefer to that hairy matchstick that hosted it last year.
And it's just as funny! Loved the comment about Tracey and 'you could be joseph'
I can understand The Nolan being a guest, as she is a host and can speak her mind, but why have Gareth Gates as a guest?

And there seems to be a positive reaction for Lesley and a negative reaction for the twins.

I caught up on last nights launch show for the new series of Big Brother. And guess what they are all women. Didn't see that coming (click here).
And apart from the odd couple of oddities, they are all much of a muchness. Wannabe WAG's with very little personality. Even though a couple of them are easy on the eye, where is the charisma? The personality?
And supposedly ther is going to be a man going in on Friday. Well I pity him. Personally I would hate being the only man in a house full of (that type of) women. I would hate the lack of stimulation (apart from the obvious) and not really enjoy the attention- after all I'm not some brain-dead male himbo with a shallow desire for fame. I wonder what type of man will go in first????????

PS has anyone else wondered about the sudden disappearance of Nathan1 just after he said he was going to apply for Big Brother as a joke?

From Digitalspy

All twelve of the contestants entering the house tonight will be female, according to The Mirror.
The shock launch night twist will set the tone for a more light-hearted series in the wake of the controversial celebrity version earlier this year.
"It'll be a brilliant opening," a source told the newspaper. "The girls will all be arriving one by one and wondering where the boys are. It will slowly dawn on them that there aren't any."
One male - rumoured to be Oldham Athletic striker Chris Hall - will be added in a special live show on Friday night. "We aim to put a hunk in first, not a geek or a gay, so the girls will get to flirt and fight over him," explained the source.

How very dare they! You can be hunky and a geek! You can be hunky and gay. You can also be a gay, hunky geek! (Or a Gunkeek)

After a few weeks, several girls will be evicted en-masse and a gang of lads will be ushered in. The insider added: "It is almost as if the show will start all over again further down the line. This ensures the series is kept fresh."

Hmmm, not sure about this. Or if it's true. Although most rumours on launch day tend to be true.
I must admit, it will stop one thing from happening- something that made the start of the show extremely dull last year. And that's the 'coupling' that seems to go on with youngees early on. I certainly don't want to have another Sezer/Imogen Grace/Mikey yawnfest. But other than that what possible reason is there to do this? Unless they are going to have a 'phone for your favourite guy to go in' so that all the girlies that watch will have it on redial (and we'll end up with another Anthony Hutton )

We're off out to the theatre tonight. We're gonna see the Hound of the Baskervilles. am expecting it to be thought provoking and highly intellectual... NOT! I just wanna laugh at silly jokes and rude behaviour.

And another note to self.
When your other half asks whether she has lost weight, it is better to say "Yes you have" and leave it at that. It is best not to go into more details like "I mean before, when you wore a top, there was a huge overhang. Nothing you wore really hung right and to be honest it did look ridiculous"

Or what I mean to say is... When one computer goes wrong, all the bloody computers go wrong!
We have two laptops (no pc's) And after my computer program failing on this one, the other one broke down completely. I have had to reboot it all, lost all the stuff on it, and now I can't get the internet to work on it. I would have thought that all you had to do was load up the netgear software, search for Network connections and hey presto... but no.

Bloody technology. I think we rely too much on it.

I have spent ages this afternoon finishng my new text adventure game (the sequel to Sir Loin) and I have been saving it regularly.

But the computer crashed and I lost everything I have done today!

How annoying, and how is that pssible, if I had saved it? I think it lost everything I did dince I last turned it on.

Aaaaargh!

This is just a quick post because I know that some of you like to have insights into my life here with my OH.
Earlier today, we were watching 'Let me entertain you'(and a welcome return to that cheesy program) when she looked at the clock and said...
"Oh it's five to ten to seven."
"Five to ten to seven? So you mean a quarter to seven" she looked at me a bit lost and then said "No I mean it's between the two. I wanted to say it was five to seven or ten to seven but couldn't decide which"

And now we were just talking about keyboards after watching Eastenders (Where Bradley is having antoher day off work for some reason) and she mentioned that fact that she has trouble sometimes finding the keys on the keyboard (Where's the K? Oh there it is) but instead of calling it a Qwerty Keyboard, she called it a Quirky Teaboard.

That is a true story.

Not very interesting I admit, but true nonetheless!

My morning so far.
Woke up nice and early thanks to the sun beating through the window. My side of the bed faces the window and I get direct sunlight first thing in the morning. And the first thing I thought? "I see the Bank Holiday is over"
Why did Mr Weather not make it sunny over the weekend, but make it nice straight after it!?!?

And then the banging started. (No, my luck wasn't in this morning). The neighbours have the tree fellers in- which kinda makes me laugh because there are only two of them! Looks like the landlady is trying to trim her bush back to impress customers. It needs it though. Having that bush on show for all to see is quite embarrassing. So many tufts poking out everywhere- and you never know whats hiding in there!
Anyway, I decided to go out shopping, get a few things for the wife. It's her birthday soon and I have got nothing from her list yet- and we all know how bad it is to deviate from the list! But the tree fellers have blocked in the car. So after a bit of a whinge they eventually moved to let me out.

In town I managed to get hold of my 12inch clockwork man. I am looking forward to getting my 12inch clockwork man out and playing with it. I hope I don't lose it in the neighbours bush.
I also went into Smiths and got hold of a cheap copy of 28 days later. £6 it cost me. Not bad! But when I went to pay, the mad woman behind the till put my card in the machine and said it refused to accept it. "What?" I exclaimed. "There is something wrong with your card!" she said indignantly. Well missus, I hate to tell you this while you are trying to be superior to me, but you put it in the machine the wrong way!!!!! I didn't say this though, I just asked her to give it another go, which she did. And guess what- It worked!
Am home now, trying to listen to the single I bought (Reverend and the Makers: Heavyweight champion of the world) but the tree fellers are now by the lounge window making a lot of noise. Damn! I was hoping to relax!

So, how's everyone else?

Becoming Cloudier Later
By CJ

I was sitting with my best friend Claude
A female impersonator
He might be my friend Claude right now
But he will become Claudia later.

I have just fnished Final Fantasty Star Wars... oops, did I say Star Wars? Can't imagine why?
Anyway the plot is a young skywalker... er Vaan has to help the princess (hmmm) overcome the evil Empire ... er I mean ..er actually that one is blatant! They were called the Empire! With the help of some sky pirate called Han Solo... nope it wa Balthier. And his friend, Fran. I must admit that Fran is way better looking that Chewbacca was, even if she was half rabbit (but those thighs, woohoo). And the eveil empire, run by Judges in black helmets that, funnily enough, made a rasping sound when they breathed.

The game itself was good, I enjoyed the hunts side quests, although it did get a bit repetative after a while. I managed to find 11 espers. Vaan got to level 70 whereas the rest were about level 53.

I remember playing FFX-2 twice to make sure I got the good ending, but I dont think this has even given me the choice. So no ribbon for me then!

oh and here is Fran

This week my OH and I will be going to see this.

It is supposed to be similr to the 39 steps that I saw last year, so I am really looking forward to it.
At least I was until I read this review. So then I started thinking 'oh dear' but then I read some of the comments below and I got excited again. Some reviewers are too ponsy for their own good. We are just normal people and we dont mind silly gags and flashing!
Should be good

And not a button in sight!

Last nights episode was by far the best this series (in my 'umble opinion) Jessica Steneson was excellent as were both David and Freema. THe script was well done, and those scarecrows were very... eurgh! Although it did remind me a little of THe Wizard of Oz with the scarecrow, the little girl and when the space ship came down it made Matron's face go green like the witch's.

I know it was based on a book, so maybe that was why it was a better episode. Roll on Next week!D

And tonight is the season finale of Lost. Am I the only one hoping that Jack dies horribly- his character has gone off for me. More Claire please next year.

Seven O clock this morning. My OH is already up, getting ready for work.
I come bouncing down the stairs.
ME: It's Bank Holiday! And it's bound to be a lovely day. Oh! (Opening the curtains and see that it is greyer than a Tory PM)
OH: How can you be so happy so early?
ME: Because it's bank Holiday (still bouncing around th room)
OH: Well, I've got to go to work
ME: I don't. But I suppose if I was, then I wouldn't be so bouncy.

I don't think my OH minded, as I have been a bit down lately and this is the first time in ages I have shown any 'bounce'. She has gone to work now, with a broken umbrella.

I have been tagged by Subalicious, so here are some random and revealing things about me, although I can't remember if I have mentioned them before.

“Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog. You have to leave those you plan on tagging a note in their comments so they know that they have been tagged and to read your blog.”

1) I have a weird kinky bit in my hair that grows totally the other direction to the rest of the hair.

2) There is a hideous ceramic cat thing on the mantlepiece. It was given to us last week by my OH's brother's friend as a thank you. It really is quite tacky.

3) I have hundreds of DVDS that I have bought and not watched yet.

4) For my work experince from school, I worked for a week in a Funeral Directors. There were dead bodies in the yard, which we had to collect from hospitals and they once shut me in a cofin for a joke.

5) I believe I have encountered evil spirits.

6) I own all 59 original fighting fantasy gamebooks.

7) Although I don't really like labels, especially the term bisexual, I do find both men and women attractive.

And now I have to find 7 people to tag...
and they are.... (this might take time)

ChrisGlos, Teri R, Normalguy, Faffajane, Going some(where), Steve P, Reiki-girl.

When it comes to fears and phobias, there are things I understand, such as having a fear of height. I have a fear of heights, and when I am up high I always feel I am going to fall. That is a real threat- you could actually fall!
I understand a fear of dogs, because dogs can attack, or spiders or snakes (because some can be harmful).
But one thing I cannot understand is.... how can anyone have a fear of buttons? Buttons!!??!! Where is the threat? A button can't attack them or bite them? What are they worried about? That a button might ping off a shirt in public and reveal a bit of belly flesh? Or perhaps they see the holes in the button and imagine they form a horrific devil face just like the windows in the Amityville House.

And when it comes to horror shows. There's the ariplane movies, (flying) Aracnhophobia (spiders) and the swarm (bees). But do buttonphobics feel the same sense of dread when they watch Button Moon?

Oh man! I nearly fell asleep then. I feel sooo tired. Once again it has been an odd week. THe list of staff who are leaving went up today- of which there are quite a few. One of my jobs this half term is to fill in these application forms that I have on my desk.

The Big (Mac) news today is that Mcdonalds are planning a campaign to have a dictionary entry changed. The entry was for the word McJob, which has the definition 'unstimulating and under-paid'

And now it's not just Mcdonalds that are complaining. Apparently the band McFly are going to campaign as their entry has exactly the same definition... as does McJagger and McHucknall

Apparently MC Hammer was going to complain too, but that was probably over the mispronunciation of his name!

We have been playing really well. Lots of great chances. Pennant has played really well. And that last minute goal by Kuyt... phew. Tense!!!

I blame the orange spot! Perhaps it wasn't orange enough.

IT's the Champion's League final tonight and I will be rooting for Liverpool to win (surprisingly) but just to help I have decided to aide them in their quest for victory. And here is how...

Does anyone remember several years ago, during one of the World cups, Uri Geller appeared on TV a lot with this scheme to help England win. They put an orange spot on the screen and asked viewers to place their hand on it and send positive vibes to the football team. And tonight I am asking blogland to do the same.

Place your hand on the orange spot below and send the love. And leave a comment if you can feel the love coming from it. Or if you have a spiritual experience whilst touching the orange spot, please let me know

PS. I am ignoring the fact that the orange spot thing didnt work for the world cup.

Here's a sign I never thought I'd see....

Today has been a tiring day, although not bad. I will be very glad when the IT is gone next year (they better had be or I definitely am walking!)
I was listening to the radio this morning (Chris Moyles) and they were talking about the Joseph show on BBC1 on Saturdays. And it surprised me that they didn't know the the story of Joseph and the dream coat!!! Now when I was young, we were sent to Sunday school and learnt loads of bible stories- does that not happen anymore? How can people not know the bible stories?

It just so happens that, just like in the news, a blog report has been found and some of the content is so private and confidential, taht I couldn't wait to tell eveyone about it.

Blog Report

Student
AJ: AJ is a pleasant member of the class. He is keen to help and is proud to show off his collection of gonks. However, I feel that he should take care of his uniform, as occasionally he can look a bit ruffled.

CJ: CJ works extremely hard and produces some good work. He likes to sit at the front and is always putting his hand up. Unfortunately, other members of the class tend to avoid him- especially when he says 'pull my finger'

Paddy: Paddy is a very popular member of the class. He likes to be centre of attention, and hangs around with most of the other boys. Curiously, he doesn't tend to hang around with the girls as much.

Sminchin: Sminchin is a conscientious pupil and always takes care of the presentation of her work. She is not afraid to offer advice to her teachers, or even correct their spelling.

Subville: Subville's recent absence has meant that she has quite a bit of work to catch up on, which may take a bit of concerted effort on her part, as she can be a little distracted at times.

Juzzzy: Is a popular boy and is well ahead in being voted class monitor. I have been impressed with his dedication to the school magazine, and I wouldnt be surprised if he got a job in a newsagent in the future.

Rithompson: Ros is a very hardworking individual who has spent a great deal of time on her coursework. She is a bit of a tomboy, and certainly enjoys footballing antics, as well as some locker room antics too.

I know, lets find a confidential report and... leak it to the press.

School report calls pupil 'wally'

What it should have said was 'School report says pupil displays wally-like behaviour'

Medway Council said an investigation was taking place
A secondary school has apologised after a confidential report book which called pupils names like "ding bat" and "wally" was found lying in a street.
The booklet, produced by The Howard School for boys, in Rainham, Kent, carried a specific message on its front page - "Do not leave lying around".

It was discovered on a pavement by a shopper in Rainham who then revealed its contents to BBC Radio Kent.

So the first thing you do isn't hand it on or send it to the school.... of course not

The school said it regretted the incident and was reviewing procedures.

The booklet for the 2006-07 academic year included the full names of children, plus notes on educational progression, socialising between pupils and parental issues.

The woman who found the booklet, who would only give her name as Bernice, told BBC Radio Kent: "I picked it up because it looked interesting and I thought it might be something of importance.

Not at all nosey then

"Then I saw it was a school report, so I put it in my bag. When I got home....

What did you do..? Did you report it missing? Making sure you didnt read it because it was a confidential school report with 'do not leave lying around' on the front?

and looked at it

Oh you looked at it. But only a cursory glance just to find out where to send it. Obviously you wouldn't read such a confidential thing in detail.

I couldn't believe what I was reading - some of it was scandalous."

Oh so you read it all, you nosey woman.

It referred to one boy as a "ding bat" who was "away with the fairies", and another as being a "bit of a wally".

One entry also said a particular boy's mother was "quite rough".

hmmm.....

The Howard School said: "We very much regret that a highly-confidential document about our students has got into the public domain.

"The purpose of the document is to provide targets and strategies for improvement for students in Year 8 to 11, and background information about the new intake."

The local education authority, Medway Council, said it would be investigating a clear breach of how school reports should be compiled.

A statement said: "Our expectation of... written reports is that they should be based on evidence, that they should differentiate fact from opinion, and that they should be expressed in clear and professional language.

"All reports should be written on the basis that they could be shared with parents.

That is true. But let's put in simple language... just in case the parents are a bit.... er....rough

"We are also very concerned that this document ended up where it did," the council concluded.

Actually I can't condone the content of the report, but it does happen. But what was that woman doing reporting it to the press?
The biggest wally however it the person who left it hanging around in the shopping centre.

Is it just me that thinks that Shammon from Home and Away (or actress Isla Fisher) is one of the sexiest women to have ever lived....ever?
I remember when she was in Home and Away- I started watching more regularly then. She was much more attractive than Angel.
And recently she was in the film The Wedding Crashers, playing a pyscho-type girlfriend. And now she is going to be in a new movie where it looks like she plays a psycho-type girlfriend. The film is called Wedding Daze and looks quite good...
...
... all the better because Shannon from Home and Away is in it.

An ode to Shannon
Shannon, oh Shannon
You've given me a cannon.

I was just {accidentally} flicking through (the childrens) TV channels when I saw this childrens Toy advertised. It is a Barbie dog that Poos! How gross is that? Surely toys are for escapism not for realism. And it looks like you can feed it the poo as well? what sort of example is that to set for kids?

And all this realistic toy stuff, when will it end? Will we get a Time of the Month Barbie? Free with tampon accessory? Or even Premature Ejaculation Ken- sponsored by Kleenex. It is utter madness.

I am off out in a minute to see 28 weeks later. I havent seen the first film, so I hope that wont spoil it.

You wouldnt believe this.... I find it difficult to believe that anyone can be a bad as this on the roads!

(I am taking my life into my own hands here writing this post)

My OH's brother and his friend went home yesterday. Now he is very practical and good with his hands- he can strip a car down and rebuild it- however in other areas of ...er....common sense... he is a bit lacking!
And this includes mapreading- so it seems.
Now last week my OH drove up there (Devon) and convoyed them back here. But we thought they would be fine getting back on there own. Normally when we go down to Devon we take the coast road A27->M27->A30 and so on. Now that could be quite complicated, so we decided to give them an alternative route homw.
Go up the A21 join the M25 West. Join the M4 West follow it until you get to the M5 South. To me that sounds easy!

They left at 10am. They shoul have been home at 3 or 4pm.
At 5pm my OH got a phone call. "This will be them telling us they are home" she said.
...
... "We're still on the M25!" was the reply!
Seven hours and they had been driving around the M25 not knowing where to get off!!!

We suggested that they get directions. They were then told by a policeman to go up the M1 and join the M25 from there!!!!! The M1! That's totally the other direction! And from what I can remember the M5 and M1 dont meet.
At 8pm (and somewhere up the M1 I imagine they were told by a kindly lorry driver to find a route South.
When we called at 11pm they were on the M5.

Now that would have been a hell of a journey!