So here it is... a post describing my first dance class.
Just to put you in the picture, I decided at the beginning of the year that I was gonna enrich my life this year by doing new things- as an antidote to last years Anus Horribilis!
And as part of that I signed up for a dance class. Salsa. When I got there I noticed a severe lack of men, and a group of what I could only describe as a 'pack' of hungry looking middle aged women. Haha- Gulp! The actul learning of the dance steps was fine- but then came the 'partnered' dance. I was teamed up with quite a nice woman so I thought "Phew". Because there were so many women, some of them had to be 'men' for the night. {As an aside I think that if I was a woman and had paid all that money, I would have been a bit affronted for having to learn the 'man's' steps.}
And that was fine, until the 'passing of the women' happened. Every four sets, the women moved over to the next guy- It was like speed dating but with moving hips! Actualy I quite liked this idea, as it meant you met lots of other people. And I must admit that I have never felt so many different bra straps in such a short time before!! There was one lovely old Jamaican lady (Think Blossom from Eastenders) who didn’t care that she was doing all the wrong moves- she was just having a great time.
At one point I ended up ladyless, because the switch-over didn’t go right, so as the next woman was about to come to me, a woman from across the hall rushed over shouting 'I'm free, I'll dance with him.' And they had to work out who had the right to dance with me. I was so embarrassed!
And then the most frightening thing happened. There was one 'middle-aged' lady who seemed to be licking her lips as it came round to my turn. She was dressed in Leopard skin and had tanned leathered skin and bright pink lipstick. As she grabbed me she said "Oooh you're hot"
"Yes it is quite warm in here"
"You should go over by the window, its cooler over there"
"er thanks, maybe I will.
A bit of dancing....
"You're very brave being here alone with all these women"
"It's OK. I'll get used to it"
and then the dance teacher said move round ladies and I was only too pleased to pass her on, just to escape the clutches of the tiger lady.
But on the whole I had a great time, and I am glad I did it!

There is an influx of paddy posts, because there is a universal theory that if many people come together in sympathy for the victim- it is a cure for Gay Flu. Either that or it spreads it more quickly. So I will 'big up' paddy, just let me arange my ornaments first.

So that's my nic-naks, Paddy's Wac! Give the man a bone. !

I'll make this a quickie, that is assuming the blog will let me post it. It seems to be a tad on the slow side tonight, which is ho I feel- although I have to find my energy reserves because tonight I am off out on the pull looking for desperate ladies to my first dance class.
I wonder how it will go.