My god I am home at last. I find Parents evenings evenings sooooooooo long! and today has been loooooong! It started badly due to the temporary traffic lights in place on the main road to work. The Main traffic lights were out so they had replaced them with temporary traffic lights and it caused long delays. But how does that work? How can replacing trafic lights with traffic lights cause delays????? There were traffic lights there to begin with!!!! They have only replaced them with more of the same?!!! I don't get it!
ON the radio on the way in I heard a caller talk about her claim to fame being that she once met Anneka Rice as she was once a 'clue holder' for the TV show Treasure Hunt. And I was thinking What a cool claim to fame that would be. And then I remembered that my OH alrady has that claim! Almost. She once worked in a place that was a clue to 'Treasure Hunt' and met Anneka Rice. How cool-or how sad am I?- I loved treasure hunt. Didnt they try a remake on BBC2 with Dermot Moanyham? I wish they'd bring it back- its beter than anything with Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen.
Anyway back to tonight.... its Bloscars night- have I got time to slip into something comfortable?

Phone call 2.

"I have followed your directions and guess what. There are road works in Yeovil, and I have been diverted. What now"

Damn you Yeovil and all your demonic ways.

Anyway, must nip out now to feed the neighbours

Oh dear! I have just received a panic phone call.
My OH, who isn't great with journeys but after a few times going to her brothers down in Plymouth has felt more comfortable about the journey, has just been on the phone. There has been a massivve accident at Dorchester, and the police have diverted all the traffic towards Yeovil. Now no offence to Yeovil, but my OH doesn know where it is or how to get around it. She has just been bside herself. Poor wee broomstick (as Subz would say)
I have just had to look up an alternative route on t'internet for her, but I am expecting several more phone calls tonight.

Now I am worried for her

CJ Has worked hard this evening to finish the tasks that he has set himself. However, his "Punctuation, and ! Speeling still needs further work. It is worth noting, that the homework he hands in tends to be of things that can make sense or no little more sense the more wine that he drinks.
He is a lively pupil and is certainly making friends easily amongst the lonley women in the dance class, but he should learn that every comment he makes is not necessarily relevant to the subject being taught. Knickers
ON the whole, not a bad start but still room for imbibementimprovement

I'm on my own. My OH has left me.... to go to her brothers again for a couple of days. And I am here alone with more work than I can shake a stick at. Isn't that an odd saying, why on earth would anyone want to shake a stick at something, if indeed I did happen to have a stick nearby to shake.

Why are there so many more reports to write? This time it's form tutor ones...

....

....
maybe I will open a bottle of wine, words flow better then

Firstly an apology... To FaffaJane, who has made a lovely Lamb Dinner, and it is sitting there waiting for me getting cold, and I blew her out to have a lovely curry at home with my OH. I had mounds of gorgeous food
And talking of nice mounds... I did something this weekend I don't normally do; I bought the Mail on Sunday. Why? Because of the free Dolly Parton CD. I must admit I am a bit of a fair weather fan- renewed since watching 'Straight Talk' the other day (Which I have now ordered on DVD)
Anyway If you want to hear a track, pop over to my MediaVoid and have a listen.

It's monday and it choir practice day. It's been three weeks since my last one (sounds like I am confessing- Forgive me father but it has been three weeks since my last practice). IT's worrying that it is just over two months away to the actual performance. I am still having trouble following the notes but I am getting better at it. The biggest problem is that the practices are too short. I just get the hang of something and then we've moved on to the next five pages and I'm thinking "Damn, I could do with singing that again" I am wondering why Verdi decided to dedicate a requiem to Liberace's Dominoes though. Were they special? Perhaps they were diamond studded... being Liberace's I suppose they could have been
I see that Chelsea and Arsenal have not been very good boys. A bit of a set to at the end of the Carling Cup, with John Terry getting a bit of a bruising. Now this event has even found it's way into my lesson today. I was doing an activity based around co-ordinates and buried trasure (Where they have to find the hidden treasure from the clues) and one kid decided to 'change' the activity from 'where's the treasure' to Where's John Terry's head. Hmmmm, nice!
The Bloscars are nearly upon us. More presitgious than the oscars and with better prizes. I mean, did Martin Scorsese get a keyring? I think not. So If you haven't voted yet, get voting.
Talking of the Oscars, asn't it good that the Queen got an Oscar for her portrayal of Helen Mirram. When HRH acted out scenes from Prime Suspect 29- the Diana Crash, it fair moved me to tears.
And does anyone else think that Martin Scorses is actually Ronnie Corbett? I mean, have you ever seen them together at the same time? Eh?

I told you it was tricky, but here is the solution to the Where's Britney puzzle I set earlier...

I bet the fact that she was facing the other way threw you all for a bit

Prydwen's Sunday Book meme

1) Grab the closest book to you.
THe last novel I read is still on the shelf. It's James Rollins 'Map of Bones'

2) Open to page 123, go down to the 4th sentence.

Page 123.... DAMNIT! Page 123 has only two words on it

3) Post the text of the following 3 sentences on your blog.

IT says.... 'Day Two' they are the only words on Page 123.

Right, I'm not having that! I'll do it again. Perhaps I will turn to page 3 and write down the first 123 sentences... no that's just silly.

Okay. I'll do this instead

1) Grab the closest book to you.
THe last novel I read is still on the shelf. It's James Rollins 'Map of Bones'

2) Open to page 321, go down to the 4th sentence.
Right done it.

3) Post the text of the following 3 sentences on your blog.

"Monk could be right," Vigor said. "These clues were planted in the early 14th Century. We should be considering the problem from the perspective of that era's level of technology."

It really is a great book. if you liked the Da Vinci Code, and want a clue following trail arounf the world, give it a go.

Ever wanted to know how well you would do on a TV quiz question. Well why not try your hand at this simple free quiz.

Create your own Friend Test here

'Tis Sunday and I haven't decided whether to go to the cinema yet. There are a couple of films out that may catch my eye. 'The Good Shepherd' which is about 3hrs long so I may need to take same pain killer for that (my arse gets so numb on those seats) or there is The Number 23. Which is either a thriller starring Jim Carrey who goes on a killing spree, or a British Transport documentary about a bus route through Oxford Circus, where the driving can almost be the same as a killing spree. I have finished my important work so I could go.
However, (Sounds like I am writing a report)
However, I do have a busy week ahead of me. On Wednseday there is a parents evening (Whoopee- not), on Thursday is my Dance class- and I would hate to disappoint Tiger Woman by not turning up, on Friday there is a school disco (which may need staff presence) and on Saturday is the next Greek Night! So should I be stayng at home relaxing and preparing for the week ahead?

Decisions decision.

{I know this is a bit cruel.... but}

After the success of Where's Wally, a new craze has hit the streets.

Where's Britney?

Can you find her in this picture?

Shall I fill it right to the top?

So thats it. Nineteen A-level papers marked and 34 reports written, which has taken about 6 hours and I have now finished.
So I can now go out and play on the swings.
Except it has gotten dark now and I wont be allowed to play out in the dark.

Oh well, time to open the wine

'However' is the report writer's friend.

I use However a lot

Oh man this sucks.

It's Saturday and I want to be outside playing on the swings but instead I am grounded until I have done all my homework

I have marked a set of tests (wish I hadnt) and now I have 34 reports to write.
Poo!

EDIT: 19 down, 15 to go

I have now taken the work out of my leather briefcase and it is now sitting on top of the table. There, thats a step forward.
However it is far too close to lunch time to actually start something now.

Saturday morning and I am really looking forward to doing loads of work today.....
So to get me startd I have been.... avoiding it.
I got up, looked at me work bag and thought... lets watch Doctor Who. So I watched Logopolis. (Bye Bye Tom. Welcome Peter Davison and Tegan- they were my favourites)
And that ended, so then I thought.... I must get on wth my work. So instead I decided to organise my new tie drawers (that my OH had such fun putting up the other day). And here it is

Now that's done, I really have no excuse. I have reports to write, and tests to mark. So there's no excuse...
....
.... no excuse at all.

Er.... does anyone have any really important things that I should do?

Edit: Sleeper has asked for a review of 'Primeval' so that must be done. It's more imprtant that work. PS If you haven't read Sleeper's blog, do!

Edit 2: I see that royalty is reading my blogs. I have even had a message from Major James Hewitt!
Come back later for more work avoidance activities important tasks

It's Friday night, its the weekend and all I can think of is the amount of work I ahve to do before going back to work on Monday. Sometimes this paperwork is a drag Report writing and marking tests... yawn!

And I am aching after my spin around the dance floor last night.

So here it is... a post describing my first dance class.
Just to put you in the picture, I decided at the beginning of the year that I was gonna enrich my life this year by doing new things- as an antidote to last years Anus Horribilis!
And as part of that I signed up for a dance class. Salsa. When I got there I noticed a severe lack of men, and a group of what I could only describe as a 'pack' of hungry looking middle aged women. Haha- Gulp! The actul learning of the dance steps was fine- but then came the 'partnered' dance. I was teamed up with quite a nice woman so I thought "Phew". Because there were so many women, some of them had to be 'men' for the night. {As an aside I think that if I was a woman and had paid all that money, I would have been a bit affronted for having to learn the 'man's' steps.}
And that was fine, until the 'passing of the women' happened. Every four sets, the women moved over to the next guy- It was like speed dating but with moving hips! Actualy I quite liked this idea, as it meant you met lots of other people. And I must admit that I have never felt so many different bra straps in such a short time before!! There was one lovely old Jamaican lady (Think Blossom from Eastenders) who didn’t care that she was doing all the wrong moves- she was just having a great time.
At one point I ended up ladyless, because the switch-over didn’t go right, so as the next woman was about to come to me, a woman from across the hall rushed over shouting 'I'm free, I'll dance with him.' And they had to work out who had the right to dance with me. I was so embarrassed!
And then the most frightening thing happened. There was one 'middle-aged' lady who seemed to be licking her lips as it came round to my turn. She was dressed in Leopard skin and had tanned leathered skin and bright pink lipstick. As she grabbed me she said "Oooh you're hot"
"Yes it is quite warm in here"
"You should go over by the window, its cooler over there"
"er thanks, maybe I will.
A bit of dancing....
"You're very brave being here alone with all these women"
"It's OK. I'll get used to it"
and then the dance teacher said move round ladies and I was only too pleased to pass her on, just to escape the clutches of the tiger lady.
But on the whole I had a great time, and I am glad I did it!

There is an influx of paddy posts, because there is a universal theory that if many people come together in sympathy for the victim- it is a cure for Gay Flu. Either that or it spreads it more quickly. So I will 'big up' paddy, just let me arange my ornaments first.

So that's my nic-naks, Paddy's Wac! Give the man a bone. !

I'll make this a quickie, that is assuming the blog will let me post it. It seems to be a tad on the slow side tonight, which is ho I feel- although I have to find my energy reserves because tonight I am off out on the pull looking for desperate ladies to my first dance class.
I wonder how it will go.

Well, I feel a bit better today after Monday's 'setback'. Today was the presentation day for the Enigma schools project which I had organised and it was quite successful. And what is better, it was seen to be successful. So spin in that Mr 'Ooh that's a nice tie-Not' {Everyone repeat after me So spin in that Mr 'Ooh that's a nice tie-Not'}

Today my OH has decided to put up some flat pack furniture, but I think some of the pieces have been badly processed. Becaue all I could hear for the past hour was 'Damn the knob is too big for the hole' or 'This screw is taking ages'
But it doesn't bother me, because these are statements I have heard before

PS: I saw the opening episode of Heroes, and it is good!

Pancake day snuck up on me there. I totally forgot it was today! That is some sneaky shroves!!!
Today at work, that teacher (course leader) who gave me the hard time yesterday smiled at me and complimented me on my tie. Now I am worried. Perhaps all that stuff yesterday was him actually flirting with me!

OR he is soo mean he is even applying sarcasm to insult my clothing. I think I will prefer to think of it as flirting.

Not much more to report. Back to work as normal, tomorrow is another Enigma day, hopefully it won't have as much bad luck as the last one!! Unfortunately this time I wont be able to see it- I just hope it all goes to plan, as my future as a team leader may depend on my organisational skills

And then on Thursday it is dance time! And my OH has chosen not to come with me. She is letting me loose on the women in Hastings who are also loose.

I was in my IT lesson today and the pupils had to create a leadlet advertsing a club they had created (i.e. made up) for the school. The club could be anything, but not rude!!! And I have been impressed with some of the imaginations of thes kids- ncluding one about worm olympics.
Now I thought was quite imaginitive, however when I read the leafelt he had created I started to worry.
It describes the fact that for the worm be aeligable to enter it has to be a certain length, head to head.
And it was the term head to head that threw me. The following conversation was actually real and the kid truly believd what he was saying
"What do you mean, head to head" I asked
"Well a worm has two heads"
"No it doesn't" I said
"Yes it does, it has a head on either end"
" No it doesnt't" I replied
"Yes it does, thats why if you but a worm in half, it can grow two new heads and you get two worms"
"...." at this point I was stunned.
"I dont think you're right. A worm has to have a head at one end and not at the other. So that it can eat at one end and it come out the other"
"I suppose so"
"And if it had a had one on either side, and they were both eating, where would the.. you know.. go"
"Okay, I think I've got the picture"

Well there you go. Isn't education grand!

Things I have learnt today

1) I never got that job that I applied for.(bad news) I didn't even make the short list. Damn! I was hoping for them to take up references. (bad news)

2) I was hoping for an inspiring course today, but I've had more inspiring courses of anti-biotics (bad news)

3) The lady friend that I was due to go to dance classes with has had to pull out. If you remember there was a problem with her B/F not wanting to go with another man, and then there was the opportunity that we could make it a foursome {her, her B/F, me and OH} however her B/F got too jealous and doesn't want her to go (bad news). But I am still going- starts thursday (good news). OH hasnt decided whether to come or not

4) Blogfriends are great. For those of you who have seen my self pitying and been supportive- thanks. It's nice to know I have this place to scream in (good news)

5) Oh and this came today

AS in the model, not the real thing (Because to be honest there isn't enough room in the dining room) {good news}

Weekend witterings:

It is Sunday and it is back to work tomorrow. But, for those of you that may remember, it is an inset day where I will be enjoying a teambuilding and leadership day of joy. But am I going to grumble? too bloody right of course not. My middle name will be ebullience. Tune in tomorrow to hear how it goes

Today I have sat and programmed another little test adventure. I have title it Sir Loin and the Coming of age. It is a witty romp through my version of King Arthur's Camelot where mashed potato and a stubborn mule can save the day.

I have just found out that I have had 11,000 comments in total. Thanks guys for popping in and insulting flirting chatting with me.

I ahve just seen an advert for the new 'Harry Potter Chess' magazine for kids. It is going to tell you all you need to know about how to play chess, and with the first issue, one of the free gifts is a Harry Potter Wand. Now forgive me for asking, but I used to play chess a lot when I was young and I don't remember there being a huge call for wands in the standard game of chess. Has chess really changed that much??
But that's not all,there is another free gift in the first issue... A black rook! Woohoo! How on earth are they going to let kids practice the game when all they are given is one black rook.
"And now let'sstart the game. Move your rook from A1 to A5...
and next month when we get another piece we can see howyour opponent is going to move in response" Talk about the slowest game of chess ever! 32 months later and we have the whole set. And in the last issue we get one of those speed clocks, but it doesn't count up in minutes, it counts up in weeks!
And, if I remember rightly, it's traditional for white to move first... so why give them a black piece to start off with.
"And now we have our first piece, place it on the board and.... wait for five months because free in issue 5 we get our first white pawn!"

... no wait
I can't even put it on a board... they haven't given us one!