I had a dream the night before last and I wanted to blog about it because it was the first time I had dreamed vividly about fellow bloggers! Especially because I have never met them!
THis dream concerns two of my blogfriends, who I hope one day will play themselves if this dream were ever to be made into a blockbuster movie. I will of course be played by Daniel Craig.
THis is the dream...
...
I was travelling to the midlands because of my work. (actually I do do a bit of travelling visiting other schools, but no-where as far as the midlands so I dont know why that should come up) and I was so far from home that I thought I would pay a visit to a fellow blogger. I have never met this blogger but for some reason I knew where she lived in the midlands and I decided to visit her. The blogger was Rithompson. So I drove up to her show home- I could tell it was a show home because the corridors downstairs in her rose covered cottage were roped off, like a National Trust property.
So I walked through the public area of the cottage and called up to Ros. She called down and invited me up. She was very friendly towards me, and we had a glass of wine. We had a nice chat and she invited me to dinner, with her partner- fellow blogger Graybags101, who of course happened to be a 60 year old grey haired gent. We had a lovely roast lamb dinner, by which time Graybags had turned into a thirty year old black man (Paul Truman lookalike) and he poured me a glass of Guinness.
After dinner I said goodbye to my hosts and drove home, however I was a bit tipsy and managed to collide into a parked car. I didnt know how I was going to get home safely, or how I was going to explain my condition to my OH.

And then I woke up, and found the whole thing had been a dream.

And the funny thing is..... I dont even like Guinness!

After my recent post, I started thinking about sex education. And thanks to Fafa's comment I wondered what other experiences bloggers have had about the sex education at school. As a teacher, I have been involved in PSE lessons where sex has been on the curriculum. As a head of year, I got a disapproving look once from a Tampax lady who was delivering a talk to girls and the only people I could find to cover it were male members of staff! Interesting talk though (I had always wondered what the talk was about- you know the one at school where the girls got a talk but the boys didn't). I think my most embarrassing moment was with a year 9 class and we were told as teachers to let the kids write down any questions down on a piece of paper and draw them and answer them. That way no-one got embarrassed about asking a question and we could answer those tricky questions. Well you could imagine the types of questions that immature kids will ask- that was a tough gig!
But when I was a kid, there were two places that sex Ed was taught. Firstly in Biology lessons where our Biology teacher refused to call the genitals by the correct names and just referred to them as Male/female naughty bits! But our PSE teacher was worse- he used to get too embarrassed to discuss it. And I never trusted him about contraception, seeing as he had a million kids himself.
But the most disappointing thing was the fact that I never got to do the Condom and the banana activity!
So, anyone else got any good memories?

And now the second part of this recently found mising episode of Bagpuss.

Previously on Bagpuss

I have a confession. I skipped choir practice today. And I kinda feel bad about it. But it wasnt my fault. Unfortunately, I have a duty that I have to do on a Monday Lunchtime and I can only go the the practice if someone coveres my duty. The past few weeks I have had cover but not today- no one turned up! So I had to do the duty and miss the practice. Damn! I need all the practice I can get! Part of me thinks it would be easier to give the whole thing up, but I am determined to see this through to it's final and inevitably embarrassing conclusion.

Other things that happened today. I had to talk about sex with my form. The topic HIV/Aids touching on the issues of anal sex, oral sex and toilet seats. Lucky I don't embarrass easily. Oh the joys of being a form tutor to the sixth form!

PS: I wonder if I will get more page views now that I have mentioned sex?

So Shilpa won celebrity big brother. I'm not surprised and quite pleased. Although I hadn't got a real favourite this year. It wasnt like ast year- the whole Chantelle thing was great! would have liked Ian to win, because he seemd to be having the most fun. I am glad that Shilpa said what she did about the whole 'racism' stuff. But I am disappointed that Danielle and Jack didnt get more of a grilling- perhaps the press will lay into them more. Davina seems to becoming more Chav like though.
Anyway- well done SHilpa. But for BB, try harder next year

And another thing.......
What is happening to the pop charts? I was listening to the charts last week and I heard the number 1 single. Mika- Grace Kelly which I think is fantastic! "Hey" I thought "I must rush out and buy it" so I tried. But it's not out yet! WTF! How can a single get to number one but not be released yet? What is the world coming to? I am not sure about this whole download thing now which means that any song that can be downloaded could in act be in the charts. Chris Moyles proved it by getting his listeneres to buy Billie's 'Honey to the Bee' which re-entered the charts at number 17. So does that mean anything can get into the charts? Mr Blobby's single again? Or even Winston Churchill's speeches from the war?
"And this weeks top five are.....
At number five. 'One for all and all for one' the theme tune to Dogtanian
At number four. Vera Lynn's We'll meet again
At number three. 'A Hare Krishna chant' by Buddhist Monks
At number two. 'Bilbo Baggins' by Leonard Nimoy
And at number one. A brand new entry it's the George Bush/Tony Blair secret recording."

Talking about things that make you go Hmmm. They were chatting about the gay adoption issue on the Gloria Honeyford Heaven show this morning. Now here is my view and I'm sory if it offends some people but.... For crying out loud let's give kids the opportunity to grow up in a loving environment. Whether they be gay straight or whatever, if the home life is secure then it can only be a positive thing.

And on a lighter note....
last night my OH was chattering on as usual. We spend many fun minutes just chattering about silly things- it keeps us happy. And then she came up with this strange saying "They are just trying to make money while the hay shines"
"The hay shines?"I questioned "Are you sure. DO you know a lot of shiny hay? Perhaps I should buy some hay cream in case I go out in the hay and get a hay burn!"
"Oops" she said "I must have mixed my metaphors. I meant Make hay while the sun shines and Make money while ....."
And then she drew a blank. What on earth could the second metaphor be?
Is it possible to mix two metaphors when one of the metaphors doesnt exist? Hmmm
Still, it made us laugh.
Sad, aren't we.D

Just a quick apology.
If I leave a silly coment on your posts, I apologise. Feel free to delete them. I am in a stupid mood at the moment.

You know me, I'm normally so sensible and demure

All this controversy over the quiz TV shows where you phone in and give answers to top ten questions is ridiculous. I mean, if you dont get the answer right, then there is no need to be bitter. You just have to think of what is most obvious!

Now Here's one I couldn't wuite finish- any ladies out there can fill in the missing answer???

Top ten things found in a ladies handbag

1) Machete
2) A small cube of resin for a violin bow
3) A jar of Bull Semen
4) ?????????????
5) Lead pellets removed from a swan
6) Vagisil
7) ?????????????
8) pawn brokers ticket
9) A scrap-book full of cut outs from wedding magazines
10) A morph plasticine figure.

And here is the news.
Yesterday, my OH noticed that there were some holes in some clothes that we had kept in the dining room (Read 'pile waiting to be ironed') when we checked the pile we noticed that there were some scratch marks and stuff. There was a girly shriek, and my OH shrieked as well! We must have some little vermin somewhere.
Any being manly I decided the best thing to do was put some poison down- tht'll kill whatever it is. But my OH was horrified. She doesn't want to kill the thing. Her idea of getting rid of it would be to leave some leaflets around the carpet advertising some local mouse support group with a free-phone number and perhaps get it involved in some community work- a bit of wicker basket making or something.

Anyway we have opted for a trap. Apparently the guy in the shop said that the best bait for the trap was chocolate.
SO tonight we will put some chocolate in the trap!

Tomorrow morning I am expecting to find my OH trapped inside D

It seems silly to me that they are not going to send convicts to prison because they have run out of space. That is ridiculous! Space is infinite! You can fit loads of prisoners out in space- in fact that seems like a very good place for them to go. And, if the universe is ever expanding, then there will be an ever increasing supply of prison space up there.

Problem solved.

Next!

Thanks to Nanny Ogg.

What kind of soul am I?

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul What Kind of Soul Are You?

I was driving to work this morning and I noticed that the streets were covered in white. Not wanting to jump to the same conclusion as before I decided either it had snowed or the local shepherds have been on the piss all night and left the gates open! Not only that, judging by what ws falling from the sky, there must have been an explosion in the local sheep abatoir!....... Or it could be snowing.

I was kind of hoping that the snow would get worse so that we could all be sent home from work- seeing as a Wednesday afternoon is my least favourite part of the week. But no! We had to work! But at least there were a few less pupils there- seeing as some had decided to not to bother coming inD

THis is a really late post. Partly because I had a parents evening, but also because I am scared that you will all laugh at me again ( Not really)

I see there hasnt been any more news on the snow down here. Apart from that one field where It seems to be flocking it down. My OH says that on one channel the news said it will snow, but on another channel it said it won't.
Well that cleared that up then. Looks like I will be wearing one glove in the morning. (because on one hand it might sonw, but on the other hand it might not)

I have just watched Big Brother and thoroughyl enjoyed that task. If I was there, I'd have really got into that. After slapping that Jo- God she is a right grump.

After hearing on the news that there was snow on the way, I was pleasantly surprised to see that, on my way to work, there was a field which was covered in white. "Wow" I thought, "The snow has really settled in this field" I was admiring the beauty of nature, and then I realised it wasn't snow at all, but a flock of sheep!

Thanks to http://theachaprinciple.blog.ca/ for this link

This is inspired by Dave41's recent blog.

Here are a couple more pictures of Celebrities when they were young, One is Orville the Duck, the other is Kermit the Frog. But which is which?

Can you tell?

Day 3 of the choir rehearsal.
Look I know it's only the third rehearsal, but I don't see how this is going to be ready for the big performance in May. I am still muddling along trying to follow the music without getting lost. When I was at school I was always told that if it helped reading, you should follow the words with your finger, so today I decided to put that into practice. So there I was at the back, ducking down and following the music with my fingers hoping no-one would notice, whilst the choir master started throwing long and complicated words at us all, as if I knew what he was talking about. For gods sake if you want us to sing quietly just say 'Shh in this bit' And then he said that someone was singing the wrong notes, and I think it was me, but I was too busy trying to follow the words- what does he want me to do Sing the words or follow the tune- I CAN'T DO BOTH!D

Actually I think I am getting a little bit better- especially now I am bending down at the back and fingering the passage.

ANd if in doubt, I could always do a Redwood!

A sunday night blog!
Back to work tomorrow. Where does the weeked go? It goes so fast.
Today I went to the cinema and had an extravaganza of film viewing. I started with 'THe last King of Scotland' which is a brilliant film! I will review it soon. I did also see the new Rocky movie which was OK, and Smokin Aces which I thought was disappointing. Reviews added.
Other than that I have done very little, luckily I did quite a bit of work yesterday, so I don't feel so bad about not working today. I think I have come to terms with Friday's upset. I am going to try not to think about it, and carry on as normal. I am also going to start looking for other jobs, as I may have mentioned in other posts. I actually miss being a HOD. I really didn't think I would miss the responsibility, but I do. I miss being the one people turn to to ask about department matters. Who'd ave thunk it! Me, wanting to be responsible adult.

I am watching Big Brother at the moment. Dirk is being a bit of a sexual predator at the moment. It must come from being the Face Man from the A team! But before that there is a fun program called 'The Search' which is a game show where teams have to solve clues in different countries- probably inspired by The Da Vinci Code. I actually relly enjoy it. It's like 'Trteasure Hunt' for the new Millenium. I want to play now! And it's really interesting learning new things about other countries! Excellent stuff!

Anyway. Back to Sunday Evening..... And then follows Monday! Boo!

"I would love to see your legs separate" really is not the sort of thing you should say to Ulrika Johnsson. I wonder if the judge realised!D
The skating show is back and they are all doing really well. The one celebrity that surprised me the most was Claire Buckfield! She was very good! And they were top of the leaderboard! The standard seem so high, which is what last year's competitors were saying as they were watchig from the audience.
I am expecting Foxy to go tonight or maybe Steven Gately.

And I must mention this. Liverpool 2-0 Chelsea! Woohoo! I bet the Chelsea team are as hopping mad as a bunch of Jake's Blue arsed frog-Pigs

Yippee. I managed to complete two things from my list. I wrote the reports and marked the tests! Phew,

Now I am going to settle down in front of the Telly. Its the return of Celebrity strictly come ice skate dancing on ice with celebrities. I loved this last year so I am looking forward to this!

And we are going to have a curry tonight, so that'll set thins off just right. So nice!
And now I feel a bit more relaxed!D

Last night I dreamt about work! Probably because work had been on my mind after the 'incident' yesterday. However it wasn't that incident I was dreaming about. In fact I dreamt about the choir- specifically the version of Requiem I have to sing. And I was singing it in my dream, but, because I don't actually know the words, my subconscious was making them up. So in fact Verdi's requiem now goes like this... "Liberate, Dominae, Lalala, Chop your head off into the basket lalala." And I was singing it with such gusto!

Oh well back to this morning, I had such good intentions. I have a 'to do' list

TO DO:
1) Write reports
2) Mark tests
3) Mark homework
4) Plan next week

So far I have done
1) Got up late
2) Thumped the DVD player which has decided to break down
3) er.......

So now back to work..... or maybe I'll watch TV.

So Jade has gone! Evicted with 82% of the vote. And soon she will enter the real world (was she ever a part of that) to face the bizarre goings on in the media!
Shilpa stays to fight anotehr day- good for her!
And who will think that Danielle will now become best buds with Shilpa, to try to make sure no-one thinks she is racist?
Ho Hum. Isn't the world of celebrity a strange monster!

By the Pricking of my Dumbs
Something Thick-ed this way comes

It's been an odd day. I upset one of the teachers at work today, which was awkward. And then I got home and had some rather shocking news. Two bits actually. The first was on TV. A pupil I usd to teach was on the news after her bloke had run away with her kid. And then I got a e-mail from a colleague telling me that a pupil I taught last year had died due to a blood clot on the lung. She was so full of life! Not even 14!

I am taking a little breather before starting my pile of work that I have to do. I am sitting here and my teeth have gone all tingly, but that may be because there was a little piece of foilf still attached to the Toblerone piece I just chewed, and for some reason foil always makes my teeth go on edge.
There was some IT training today. It was most...er...uninformative really. Except I did find out that I wont be teaching IT next year if I stay. Now that would be a relief! Anyway back to the training. The guy, who reminded me of Sid Little (Where are they now? ..Oh yes on Blackpool Pier), was late and then got rather huffy when we had to use a room without a projector. He then carried on as if we were a little bit simple! The problem is, when someone treats me like that, I tend to act like that, so I ended up asking lots of inane questions like "So what does double click mean again?" or "what does the delete button do?"
That aside, it's been an OK day. I didnt sleep well last night so I was quite tired this morning. For some reason I woke up at 4:30am and couldnt get back to sleep. Perhaps I too was worried about the Eskimo's becoming extinct like Jade was in last nights Big Brother.

Still home now. And lots to do.