I have finally added the two reviews of the films I saw this week. Severance and You, Me and Dupree

There!

And if you have been wondering why the amount of Cocks are shrinking and why Willies aren't around as much, read this.

Thanks to Life_Lessons for shwoing me how to do this YouTube link. I tried it last night but I had no luck.

Anyway, this clip is from Most Haunted... and there is a surprising revelation about Mary!!!

I have seen some people with youtube movies on their blog pages. Is there a way I can attach a youtube clip to my blog?
Can anyone help?

I must try to have an early night tonight. I have had a wonderful holiday just lazing around, but it is back to work tomorrow. Still, the good thing about starting term as a teacher is that Kids tend not to be on the first day. I remember loving training days (They were called Baker Days then) when I was a kid at school

heehee. This is what I wrote in my blog on the 4th September 2005. It's amazing how feelings never changeD

Just tiptoeing through some of the headlines.

Life imitates art:

Thieves have stolen the only master tapes for the BBC's new £8m series on Robin Hood and are demanding a £1m ransom for their safe return.

The episodes were apparently about someone stealing something and demanding money for it's return. I wonder where the thieves got the idea from?

Silly fool of the day.

HOLEY WATER
A PRIEST drowned as he tried to show his congregation how Jesus walked on water at a beach in Gabon, West Africa.

Now there is nothing wrong with faith, but the worrying thing about this story is that the congregation must have just let him drown. What were they thinking? "Give it a minute, he'll pop back up and wave, just wait and see"

And finally, advertising gets everywhere

THE BILL BOARD
POLICE horses in the Nottinghamshire force are to carry sponsorship adverts on their saddlecloths and boxes.

are they that hard up for cash? But what will they advertise? I think some sort of car ad? or "clunk click every trip." Maybe film ads... I can imagine seeing a poster for "The secret policemans ball"

Today is officially the last day of the summer for me. Tomorrow I start my new job.
I have decided not to write a to do list, as I plan on doing very little today.

Aren't I lucky.
I have just been given the opportunity of a life time! I have just been offered a part time financial managers job for the Norway Consulting Group. And how did I hear about this once in a life time opportunity? Is it from days of rigorous interviews? Or perhaps from a reputable job agency? No. It has been sent by e-mail.
But that doesn't matter, it must be a grand job. I wonder what it entails.....

1) Open up a bank account

Hmm, nothing at all suspicious so far

2) Upon receiving a notice from our manager about money transfer with your account, promptly apply to your bank and withdraw the sum.
3) Immediately go to one of the express money transfer agencies and transfer this sum in accordance with the details specified in our notice.

Well I'm convinced.

Signed Annette Nygardsmoen

Dear Annette,
Thanks for the wonderful offer. How kind of you to give me the opportunity to set up my own account and ask my own bank to withdraw money. However I think I may instead laugh insanely at you. Hahahahahahahaha

PS did you know that your name was an anagram of
A GRAND MONEY NEST NET

I don't understand the stats at the moment. According to the page views yesterday I had 2930 of them. How is that possible? And is it my imagination or has all my profile tags become lower case. I thought I had a very (Loud and proud) geek tag in Upper case. GEEK! that's me!
I bought my suit. In fact I got two of them. A classic black and a light grey with a blue pinstripe. I start work on Thursday (half day for newbies) so I may meet all the other pleb intake.
I also have to think about my P45. I'm not sure if it's going to be posted or I have to collect it. I have been paid but I don't have the wage slip. I don't know if it's sitting in my old pigeon hole waiting for collection. I will have to go in and check. I may pop in on Thursday after work to see if it's there, or to see if there is anyone left in the finance office. Officially I am still working for them on Thursday as it's the last day of the month.

PS, my chimney looks dirty

Oh how disappointing. The Chimney sweep has cancelled. Due to illness. I bet he's not really ill, I bet he's made other arrangements with that slut of a flying nanny. I am sure she drugs him to do his will. "A spoonful of rohypnol makes the Chimney Sweep go down" Oo-er that sounded ruder that I intended.

Tuesday morning and I am having to wait in for someone..... the chimney sweep! Every year he pops by to unblock my passage, with his cheery fake cockernay accent and realsitic pavemant chalk drawings. Last year we jumped in one and went to a fayre with penguin butlers and some man complaining that he said a long word to his girl and now that girl is his wife.... no wait.... that's Mary Poppins!
So the chimney sweep is coming to dance on our rooftops singing with a whole load of other sweeps who just happen to know the words and dance routine... no wait.. thats Mary Poppins as well.
So the Chimney sweep is coming round to charge me a fortune to insert a large instrument up my opening and unblock it... no wait... thats my colonic I'm having tomorrow.
Anyway, he's coming round soon.

Woohoo. I have just checked my bank account and I have been paid for this month. They did say we would but we weren't too sure it would happen. Now all I need is the P45 and I should get paid next month too.

My Bank Holiday so far.
On Friday, as you know, I had my sister and her kids here. I just thought I'd mention that their family are West Ham supporters and were looking forward to gloating about the result of the Liverpool/West Ham match. But, not being one to gloat, WE WON. WE WON! And who scored the winning goal? None other than the incomparable Peter Crouch! Yay! I have to admit though, Zamora is doing very well- he's an ex Brighton Lad, and used to hear his name often on the local radio.

Back to the weekend.....
On Saturday my mum came down and in the evening we went to see Starlight Express in Eastbourne. I have seen it a couple of times in London and really loved it, so was glad that it was coming on tour. I did wonder how they would do the race scenes, as this used to involve the trains skating around a track constructed around the audience. But what they did on this tour was have the races as a 3D film. you were given 3D glasses as you entered and were told to put them on when the races occurred. This was very clever, and there were a few times I tried to duck out of the way of flying debris. The show was excellent as usual, and a good time was had by all.

On Sunday, we managed to get to Hastings and have Fish and Chips by the beach. This was after having to hunt down my keys, which my OH had accidentally taken to work with her
And then it was time for the proms and a picnic. It is a great social occasion where families go and enjoy the atmosphere. There are several groups going the whole hog in DJs- maybe next year. However there were a couple of old ladies next to us who kept trying to shush everyone as they were trying to listen to the music. I think they walked out half way through, probably ready to write a letter to Points of View about how disgusted they were at the behaviour of the audience.
Here is the view:

And here is a picture of the spitfire as it flew past.

And the evening ended, the way all proms should end, with a fireworks display and Land of Hope and glory. So it was flag waving all round!
There was also a hole nearby us in the field, where loads of people kept falling into as they were walking past, so that added to the entertainment. Even my mum managed to fall into it herself, even after saying "I mustn't fall into the ho.... oops"

And that was the weekend. Mum's gone home now and I am on the computer- so it's back to normal now!

Edit. I forgot to mention, The guest singer as Russell Watson. He was good but kept promoting his albums and enjoyed the female attention too much!

This is my 1000th post in the void. I hope the clip works.

IT was taken at the proms last night

As I am sitting here waiting for my mum, I thought I would add a few final touches to my new game I am writing. And now I have screwed it all up! Bugger. I can't undo the stuff that I have just done now and the game won't play! I may have to re-write the entire thing, (Which is a pain 'cos I nearly finished.)
That'll teach me for trying to be too clever

Misson over, kids deployed safely and all toys safe and accounted for!
They are good kids and it is good to see my sister and Hubby. WE had a lovely walk in the forest after lunch, which was not as muddy as I expected considering all the rain. And it was a lovely sunny afternoon. I hope it stays like this on Sunday.
So that's one lot of family over. We are both exhausted.
Tomorrow is the next installment, the mother! Duh DUh Duuuuuh.

I have heard that there is gonna be a new series of Afterlife this Autumn so that is something to look forward to.

Well, the rooms are tidy. the nicknacks are glued down and the Hatches have been battoned down, which is odd because I didn't even know I had hatches, let alone how to Batton them down.
So I am ready for the hordes of genghis kahn and their destructive powers the kids.

So with the news that Pluto has lost it's status as a planet, which will mean all those text books will have to be rewritten, I had a look to see what classifies as a planet

According to the BBC:

The scientists agreed that for a celestial body to qualify as a planet:
it must be in orbit around the Sun
it must be large enough that it takes on a nearly round shape
it has cleared its orbit of other objects

Oh my God, that means John Prescott is a planet.!

Enter the Void is a year old today.

It was August 24th 2005 when I wrote my first post. And one year on what have I learnt?
a) That a lot of cool (and slightly mad) people live in the blogworld.
b) Barry Scott is universally hated
c) People have too much time on their hands
d) That I won a Bloscar!
f) What happened to e
e) Aaah there it is.

So raise your bifocals and varifocals to another fine year.
Cheers everyone
Cheers Blogworld.

I cannot believe how geeky I am. I have even topped my all time top geekscore tonight. My OH and I were watching Beauty and the Geek tonight and one of them said "If a geek slices a pizza into eight pieces and then takes one, has he got one pie divided by eight or two pie divided by eight?"..
.... and I laughed. I actually thought it was funny.
My OH just stared at me and said " I don't get it"
Then I laughed more, but this was an embarrassed laugh at myself for finding it funny.

On the news

Figures due out this week are set to show that, if nothing changes, a third of men will be obese by 2010.

Me? I'm hoping to make it to until at least a quarter to 9.

It is the middle of August.... so why am I cold???? I ahve had the heating on a couple of times this week. Still I prefer cold to hot!
I have lots coming up this week/end. I am going on a picnic tomorrow with someof my work colleagues. It is GCSE results day so there will be a few of them there! Then on Friday my Sister and her family are coming down. (I had better hide my Doctor who toys ) Then Staurday-Monday my mum will be visiting and we are off to the Battle Proms (Hopefully the weather will bo OK) and then it is off ot my new job next week.

And I ought to mention the football last night. One goal for us... and who scored it???? Peter, the two-meter, Crouch. Good on him!

It is Tuesday morning and the post has been. I have got a letter from my work granting me my request to leave the job early so I can start somewhere else in September. How very gracious of them

I see in the news that Asda are wanting to trademark the word 'Chav'. (News report here.)
It seems that they want to replace the traditional love hearts (Which had some lovely warm phrases) with Chav Hearts using terms like 'Minger' and 'Bovvered'. Is this what love has come down to in todays youth? Wotevver! Still good luck to you Chavsda!

Ever looked at something and thought how much sense it makes.
I am looking at the recent posts section of the Blog pages and when you put the titles together they make the following sentences:

Civilisation is my four legged friend
Two little dickie birds oh consider the pure joy, DTM
Monster trucks musing not quite the Kings ransom
Welcome to more new blog, visitors wriggle, squirm
and Redundancies: the worst album covers of all time.

It’s amazing to think that Monster trucks can even think let alone form considerations, and I wonder what the dickie birds do to induce such pure joy; I am sure the civilised dogs would not approve.
And why should new visitors wiggle and squirm? Are blogs that bad?

I have just phoned my mum up. I know she was heading to see my sister and it means going on the M25, then I saw this news and thought I would warn her about possible delays. I did think that maybe all the sirens we heard this morning could have been going there! Anyone heard from Roxy, cos she was headed there.
I am also paying close attention to the weather, because it will soon be the Battle proms and I dont want it to rain. Forecast is rain all week but only cloudy on Sunday (Which is when it is). So fingers crossed.

I have invented a new term. Well not really invented and it's not really a new term so I don't know why I said that. Anyway the termis Ronseal. IF something is described as Ronseal that it does what it says on the tin! I used it in my review of Snakes on a plane. Well I don't see why Marmite should have the monopoly on being used!
I have also added a review of Monster House.
I finished writing my first full text adventure, although I imagine it has tons of spelling mistakes- so Sminchin will probably have a fit if she read it!

And if you are bored, try this quiz, it's been there for ages!

WE were rudley awoken this morning by the sounds of sirens. There must have been loads of them. Fire Engines and Ambulances it sounded like (Even now I can hear a heliopter). Sounds like something big is going down in the Hastings area. And it is the right time of your for school buildings to be burnt down (Some people are living in hope).
My OH has left for work. She is walking down the road, it should only take 20 minutes. But there has been a sudden downpour of rain! I hope she is OK, she took an umbrella but in my experience Brollies aren't very useful, especially on windy days. Why do they make it rain on windy days. One day I am going to invent a brolly that has several holes in it to help the wind pass through therefore it won't blow inside out.

Oooh panic stations. The first time I booted up my computer this morning it sent loads of error messages and then froze! Aaargh. I thought it wasn't going to work again. I never have confidence in downloading updates for windows or Yahoo because I'm never sure thow they are going to affect everything else.
But on the second boot it was OK.... so far!

I had a dream last night. My OH and I were in some sort of service station that is also an exhibition. We wanted to look at teh exhibits (Animals in cases) but there were too many kids and foreign students calmmering for them. Then we decided that we would have something to eat. But the Queue was very long; we heard one couple say that it moves a bit then it stays still for nine days. And when we got to the counter we had to fight over the last pieces of toast with the two people either side.
Then I woke up.
But the question is. Was this a dream, because it sounds very realistic to me!

Aaaaaaah.
Football is starting again. It is returning to us like a long lost friend.
Clean sheet, new shoes, and a chacne to be top.

GO LIVERPOOL!- Give Chelsea a run for their money
GO CROUCH! - You're the best- head and shoulders above the rest

I am expecting the next few months to follow the followin format

"Nikki and Pete great romance"
"Nikki and Pete split
"Nikki's speaks candidly about troubles with Pete"
"Pete's first interview about Nikki"
"Lea tells about her heartache about Nikki and Pete"
"Nikki last ditch attempt to stay in Spotlight"
"Nikki does Panto"
"Pete not allowed to do Panto in case he swears"
"Richard to star in Brokeback mountain 2"
"Glyn loses virginity"
"Lea talks candidly about her part in Glyn loses virginity story"
"Mikey speaks candidly about how he coached Glyn to lose his virginity"
"Nikki tries to revitalise flagging celebrity"
"Imogen opens a packet of teabags"
"Susie drinks tea"
"Imogen speaks candidly and openly about her part in Susie drinking that tea"

Then it will be time for BB8

THe Big Brother Final is now over. And the winner is.... the one who was favourite right from day 1- Pete
And here are my thoughts...
Nikki. I laughed at her! I don't think she should have been allowed to go back in. She screamed and tantrumed her way through the last week, and I get enough of that at work!
Glyn was a good laugh, and very passionate about where he came from, although I can't remember where he is from.
Pete. He was entertaining I suppose but I couldn't see what what everyone else saw. Why did everyone fancy him? I thought he was a bit of a drip.
Richard- Was funny at times but a bit of a bully at other times. I don't think he was ever going to win. During the last week he spent too much time up nikki's ass I'm surprised he can remember what daylight is!
And my favourite was Aisleyne, probably because of the emotional journey she went through. There were times I laughed with her and laughed at her, and cried when she cried and laughed at her when she cried! But I thought she wa a star! And I am thrilled that she beat Nikki!
Is that everyone? What do you mean I missed someone? Who? Jennie? Jennie who?

Can you believe that it was 13 weeks? A whole quarter of a year? What are we going to watch now? Love island just isnt the same.