Enter the Void....

So what do you remember about your teachers, in one word! Try to think of one word taht reminds you of a subject teacher you had. (I will not get offended)

Maths Teacher: Smelly
Enlgish Teacher: Smoker
Science Teacher: Bastard
Woodwork teacher: Fingerless
Art Teacher: Fit
PE Teacher: Sadist
Language Teacher: uninterpretable
Humanities Teacher: Waffler

addendum.

I wonder if Big G's blog is blocked because of the word corruption in the title?
And I wonder if mine is blocked because of the word 'Enter' in the title?

Hmmmm.......

I am not a Lawyer. I do not understand legal Guff and most of it bores the pants off me. So why oh why have I had to spend the last 2 hours wading through tonnes of Legal paper documents and reports. It's Paper this with section that and subsection the other with specific reference to clause don't-give-a-flying-fuchia!
Oh the life of a representative.
It's too nice a day to be sitting indoors investigating the bitter problems of sampling. I want to be outside causing problems and sampling bitter!

I want to read Graemphilips new question of the day but the webmarshall won't let me in! haha I have found another blog which has unsuitable content like mine. Hey Big G, welcome to the Potty Mouth club!

Ok I want a cure for a blocked nose.

Any good ones?
Any Bad ones?
Any silly ones?

It has been a shocking day.
Firstly one of my little Monte Christons has been playing up. She was leaving today and she was gonna cause as much mischief as possible. I suppose this is gonna happen now until the end!

I then had to cover a Music lesson. It was year 8 and they had to practise a Morris Dance tune. It helped me practise my Piano playing skills. But it took ages to get the tune out of my head.

Then I had a meeting with the HM. I think she was playing for a bit of sympathy, 'cos she started complaining of a tummy ache, but she got none from me! Perhaps I should have started rubbing my wallet and complained of a 'being thrown out of my job' ache. (Ps More on that later)

It was also the year nine team building day, so I watched them mess up building a raft for a while. I think they were worried about sinking, but after watching Lost I told them they should be more worried that the Others would come along and kidnap one of them!
I watched Lost last night, that Black Smoke thing confronted Eko! What was that about? I liked the connection with the plane from the first series though, I thought that was clever!

At the end of the day we had a meeting with a lawyer. I had to take the minutes. I hate taking minutes. I write too slowly so I try to rush it then I can hardly understand what I've written and then I find I've missed something important. But still the meeting was interesting. But something irritated me. I remember several weeks ago I found out that my payout would be more than I thought, well I got an official letter today and it has dropped again. I am so annoyed about it. I am going to sort that out tomorrow.

And now for an update: I have another interview looming. For a job starting in January. And it is a Head of Maths! There may be a chance if getting my position back! More details when they come!

English is a crazy language...
Taken from Dyslexia.com

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple; English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

My head is pounding... and it's not due to drink...HONEST!
I have caught a summer cold (Actually being a typical bloke I should be saying that I am dying of flu). It must be a mix of the change of weather and my hay fever. This weather change has been dramatic. I had my heating on last night when only a few nights before I had my Air Con on!

Did anyone see the Kids Buckingham Palace show? I caught the end with the Superfrickingfrolickhocusextrahalitosis song. And the queen came out at the end. I saw Prince Philip chatting to Ronnie Corbett, who was looking like an Oompa Lumpa. I was kinda expecting him to be saying "Didn't we fight you lot in Ghana?"
(Talking of Ghana- they play Brazil today. Fingers crossed for a Brazil win)

And then the Queen made her speech. Both my OH and I were willing her to say "Thank you. I do like a warm hand on my entrance", but she never did.
And now I have just read the BBC news. Over 80 people complained about the opening of the show, when Huw Edwards said, in a news Bulletin, that there had been dramatic events at Buckingham Palace! OK I can understand that some people might get anxious, especially after the Underground Bombings, but you would have thought they would have relaxed a little when the reporter interviewed Ronnie Corbett dressed as Buttons 1 minute later! Sheesh!

This is the first media file I have uploaded. Its a clip from the Take That concert

I apologise for the singing you can hear. thats me

Another Poem by CJ- Oh My God make them stop!

The Invigilator
By CJ

I’m sitting at my desk and I’m twiddling my thumbs
I shift around the seat in case my buttocks start to numb
And in my head I calculate imaginary sums
As I look for things to do until the next replacement comes.
I hope she isn’t late as I have a place to be.
Invigilation grates, and the boredom gets to me.
And I start to squirm around and I hope no-one can see.
That I’m sitting with my legs crossed ‘cos I really need a wee.

It's Sunday night and I have had a relaxing evening. Which is nice after the long night I had last night.
Talking of last night There are a couple of people I would quite like to mention. Thanks to the Tall Smoking girl who pushed her way just in front of us just before it the show started and obscured our view. And then thanks for blowing cigarette smoke in our faces. We really appreciated you! And thanks to the girl behind who phoned her friend every song to give an account of what was happening- was it really necessary??????

Thankfully Doctor Who recorded last night; I really didn’t want to miss it. it was a strange one- a similar look to the episode The Idiots Lantern. but the preview for the final episodes looked good. Aaaargh. They are gonna Kill Rose off! NOOOO!!!! When my OH saw the end with the Olympic torch she said "This has more cheese than a four cheese pizza" Maybe she was right

And England are through to the Quarter finals after a 1-0 win over Ecuador. And what a goal! From a Beckham free kick- it was a fine bender which went straight into the corner of the net! The rest of the game was crap though! And next we play Portugal. Gadzooks Kiki!

And at the moment we are watching Most Haunted live. I wonder what mysterious object they have locked in the safe. We are supposed to use our psychic powers to guess deduct what it is. Using my powers I think the object is a Sponge Bob doll. I wonder if I'm right? Should I call in and tell them? And they are 'linking' with a maid who was pregnant by the master of the house. Why do these shows never have normal maids? All the maids they 'link' with have been made pregnant by the Master of the house and then ends up dead after mysterious circumstances!

I must go now, I am receiving a psychic image of a producer making lots of money from text callers. Hmmm, I wonder what that means.

OKAY. I am useless at photoshop or putting images together, so this was the best I could do

And now to the show itself...
We got into the Bowl at about 6pm, which was when Beverly Knight came on. We were still forcing our way through the crowds, and by this time the place was packed with tens of thousands of people, to find a good spot. Beverly was very good, really got the crowds pumping with some great songs.
At about 7:30pm the Sugababes came on and they were fantastic. I didn't really know much aobut the 'babes stuff but I recognised most of them. There were some great renditions of suff like 'Round Round' and 'I bet you look good on the dance floor' which drove the crowds wild and their finally was the hypnotic 'Push the Button' I may even now get a sugababes album.

and at 8:45 the Boys came on, and here's what they did....
After a cleverly animated intr the boys appeared on stage and m first thought was 'my go they look old now' and they started with Once you've tasted love and the crows were happy to clap along. It amaxes me that there were a good few twentyish people there who would only have been about ten when TT were around before. But there were a LOT of thirty somethings too, all enjoying the revival.
Then the boys sang Pray which got the crowd frantic. The backdrop on the stage was three huge stained glass windows and the boys danced the original routine- yes they remembered it- and they could still do it! A girl behind me was on the phone to her friend "You should be here, they've still got it".

Next was Today I lost you which I didnt know because it was a new track on their hits album last year, but I didnt buy it 'cos I already had their hits album from 1995! But during the song they had circus performers on stage . This was followed by why can't I wake up with you
Then came the first big set piece of the night and it was HUGE!. It started off with asoem slutty woman in red dancing to a latino beat. You ended up wondering what song it was gonna be. After some cool dancing, Gary started singing.. "Whats an hournof a day, we throw at least one a away" at which point the crowd went crazy as they realised what song was coming up. It was a remarkable version of It only takes a minute with some wonderful latin dancing. It was wild! Then Marky sang Babe pretty much on his own, and dedicated it to the crowd. Then came an acoustic version of Everything Changes with some great audience participation followed by the balled A Million Love Songs which Gary did on the piano, and even had Marky flirting with him!
After a short costume change the boy performed their popular Beatles Medlay on a catwalk out in the crowd. I have a bit of video of this which I may upload if I can. Then followed an acoustic version of How deep is your love which also had everyone singing along. After some thanks from the band they ended the Acoustic session with Love aint here anymoe which ended up with some great audience participation.
Then came some final set pieces. Starting with Apache. This began with the electrnic woice of the MANAGER who was creating a boy band and was explaining the rules. The boys came on dressed in jumpsuits a la cloning. And they performed likepuppets to the voice of the manager. The routine ended with Jason rapping. Then dozens of dancers came on with blank face masks and the boys performed Sure to a very bass heavy dance beat. There was a backing tune that I kind of recognised but couldn't name. It reminded me of when Kylie did 'I can't get you out of my head' to the Blue Monday beat!
After the satge was clear, a dancer dressed as a devil appeard and started the 'Fire' monologue. This is the prologue to the song relight my fire which was performed with great energy. The crowd once again were wild with fire fever and were singing along with gusto. The boys, dressed in outrageous devil costumes, were performing there hearts out and I remember thinking 'If only Lulu were here'. And then one of the biggest shocks of the night... Lulu appeared in a very sexy corset and joined in. Yes LULU was there! It was frantic and energetic and climazed in some great fire effects, with a huge curtain of flames burstin up on the stage and fireworks also! After that song, the dnacers came on and rain started to shower down on stage. This led into Back For Good which they sang under the rain. (They had umbrellas). When they had finished the song, the rain continued to fall and then the next big shock of the night occurred; a huge hologram of Robbie Williams appeared on stage and sung the intro to Could it be magic It was fantastic! Then they boys came on and sung and danced in the rain and puddles of water... the crowd were still in a frenzied state.

And then came the finale, and what else could it be but Never Forget It was brilliant! It was someething seeing thousands of people waving their hands and singing along to the chorus. And as the crowd were enthralled there was a huge firework dispay off the top of the stage. It was the most amazing spectacle and it showed that the boys have still got it!

WEll that was a day and night I will Never Forget
but before I describe the actual concert I whall talk about the worst part of the day (and night). And that was the journey.
The plan was this
Leave at 11. Get to MK at about 2pm, havea a saunter into town for something to eat and saunter back to the Bowl. Enjoy the concert and allowing for traffic we should be home by 2am.

Now the reality.....
We left at about 11:20 due to sudden toilet emergencies. And what followed was one of the solwest journeys ever! The M25 hardly got about 30mph as as the M1 and there was road works on the M1 which are due to go on till 2008! So to get off the Motorway we joined th A5 which was just as bad. We arrived in Milton Keynes at about 4pm and then there were no signs at all to the National Bowl. The only reason we got there at all was of the map the Sminchin (Thanks by the way) had linked to me in a previous post. I got us to where we assumed the National Bowl was- we had seen crowds of people heading that way so we kinda knew we were going the right way.

We then had to join a queue of traffic which was trying to park. But when we got to the car park it was full and there were no signs to direct us to another car park. SO we drove around and ended up joining the back of the queue again. When we got to the front of the queue the second time we were guided to a parking place. WE parked up at a quarter to five. Our average MPH according to the car stats was 28MPH. I have never driven so slowly before.

Return Journey
The show finished at 10:45 and then it was time to leave.
We headed for the gate that led to our car park but so were thousands of other people. The gate got so congested that there was no movement at all and we were forced to leave by another gate, which took ages. When we eventually got to the car, the car parks were also congested so it took ages. We were out of the car park at midnight! Then came the slow and tedious drive to the M1. The roads were all bunged up so it take ages to get anywhere, and as soon as we got to the roundabout that should take us to the M1, the police had blocked it off because of an accident- so we ad to take a detour. We finally managed to join the M1 at 2am. And our average MPH had dropped to 19.8MPH. After that the joureny was straight-forward and we finally made it home at 4:20am.
God we were Knakcered.

Did anyone else have trouble getting on line last night? I tried but couldn't even get on!

It's Saturday and today we're off on the Road To Milton Keynes. My biggest concern is parking when I get there.

I can't believe that Cadbury's are withdrawing all those choccie bars because of Salmonella. They knew about it in January and the types of bars they are withdrawing are the types we have had since january! I tell you this news has made me sick! Or is it the Salmonella

And the rumour about the new secret house in Big Brother was true. There are gonna be five new housemates next Friday. Apparently they have been in hiding for weeks.... now do we know of any bloggers who have recently disappeared?

And finally to get me in the mood I have written a song for today. Sung to Never Forget by Take That

Ne-ee-ver Forget where you parked the car
Ne-ee-ver get trampled in the rush
So-ome-day soon we will sing along to this song
Wo-o-o-ah

(Why do most songs have a wo-o-oah in it. Is it just word filler? Wouldn't it be boring if blogs were just filled with Wo-o-oah's just to bulk out the content)

Even with the pressure of the world cup, Peter Crouch still had time to get his photo taken with the fans

I have been looking at some fun maths facts.
Did you know that it is possible to ride a bike with square wheels smoothly.... Here is a picture of how...

YEs.. you make the road all curvy! Now how about that!

And here is one for you all to ponder. It's titled Ants on a stick

One hundred ants are dropped on a meter stick. Each ant is traveling either to the left or the right with constant speed 1 meter per minute. When two ants meet, they bounce off each other and reverse direction. When an ant reaches an end of the stick, it falls off.

At some point all the ants will have fallen off. The time at which this happens will depend on the initial configuration of the ants.

Question: over ALL possible initial configurations, what is the longest amount of time that you would need to wait to guarantee that the stick has no more ants?

And for those of you at the back, the answer is not "Why the hell would I be carrying 100 ants, let alone dropping them on a stick"

I'll give the answer later

Ooh haven't my posts been stick heavy lately!

It's Friday. Today has been tiring. Especially after yesterday. Yesterday went well but I was so exhausted I was alseep by 8:15pm.
Today I am still knackered. And I had a lot of tidying up to do. My room looks like a bomb has hit it. That is if they make bombs out of string, card, bamboo sticks and plastic cups. If they did make bombs out of that, then they wouldn't kill so many people-so perhaps thats a good idea. I wonder if there is a government office somewhere in whitehall that checks all blogs for key words like BOMB. If so and you are reading this ... hello

Tonight I was supposed to be going out but after the past week I decided I needed an early night. Especially if we decide to do the whole Mitlone Bloody Keynes thing tomorrow. WE still haven;t definitely decided to go yet, but it is likely that we will.

Anyway must go now, the MI5 are bashing down my door and ordering me to drop the string and come tou with my hands up.

So the day is over. And it was a success. Everyone enjoyed it and now they all realise that Maths (with me) can be fun. So to all you doubters in Blogworld I laugh at your sad un-maths-filled lives
But I did have one surprise.... there is a girl who is exactly like Nikki from Big Brother. I swear she could be her sister. She says everything in a pronounced way, and she was saying things like "I'm not doing it! I tell you now I'm not doing it" or "I don't care if I get a bad score, as long as I'm having fun, that's all I care about" Thankfully she was having fun. In fact I really made her day... in one activity they had to make a device for transporting water from one bucket to another, using only a bamboo pole, paper cups and selotape and string. Well she managed to attach the cup to the stick easily (using an enormous amount of tape), however she had used a bit too much tape over the top of the cup, which kind of sealed the water in. She ended up having to shake and swing the whole thing round and got me very wet! This had her in stitches. She said it was the best part of the day I don't mind. It was better than "I'm not doing it"

Any way. Does anyone want to buy a Cup on a stick?

I am getting nervous about tomorrow. It is our maths fun day. Its the first one I've organised so I want it to go well. We have lots of activities planned. I am going to do Tangrams (I have made some huge pieces out of card), Paper plane throwing, And then a problem involving moving water from one place to another using only cups and sticks (Hence the bamboo sticks) And then we have a treasure hunt organised for the afternoon.
I hope the weather holds, and it is not too windy. It will bugger up the paper planes idea otherwise.

There has been further developments in the redundancy saga. we were going to get our marching orders on July 4th (I call it Redundipendence day) which meant I could get a payout (Which I think I am entitled too) but that might have to change because of some legal advice from other parties. Its all getting more complicated.

I hate racism of any kind, as I am sure my friends do too. So when I heard these stories it really annoyed me.

A seven-year-old boy has been attacked by a racist thug because he was wearing an England football top in Scotland. Hugo Clapshaw had been enjoying a kick-about with his father in Edinburgh when a man shouted abuse and punched him.
Lothian And Borders Police branded the attack "cowardly and pathetic".
is father Damon, 34, said: "Hugo was just wearing a football top, that's all he did wrong. Has the Scotland-England rivalry come to this?"
Mr Clapshaw said the man ran up to his son in the park and shouted expletives at him.
Hugo was punched in the head before the thug turned on Mr Clapshaw, punching him to the ground and kicking him.
He said the man shouted "this is Scotland, not England".

:: Police in Aberdeen are hunting a man who attacked a disabled driver because he was wearing an England shirt and flying a St George's Cross from his car.
The man was dragged from the vehicle and punched in the head and face in what Grampian Police said was a racially-motivated attack.

I heard this story on the radio on the way home from work. But the reason that I picked up on it was because it brought back a memory that I had forgotten for many years.
When I was about 17, I had made some good Scottish friends whilst camping once. (that was a brilliant trip- but thats for another time- It involves Swedish girls). Anyway, over the summer, these friends invited me up to Scotland for a few days holiday which was really nice. But whilst there I was having a walk in a local park when i was set upon by a group of Youths. When they found out I was English they then started taunting and threatening me and verbally assaulting me. It never got physical thankfully but that may be because I ran away! I felt really scared and vulnerable- It was very unpleasant.

Anyway it's nice to know that the Scottish Government have apologised and I think it is only fair, as an English Person, to apologise for Tony Blair.
It's Tony Blair. I cannot apologise enough.

OK. Does anyone else think WE SHOULD HAVE WON THAT GAME!

What a scrappy bit of defending again in that last minute. But at least the goals we scored were top notch!
And we came top in the table.
I should be feeling ecstatic.... so why aren't I?

PS: I want to work in the same place that Bradley in Eastenders works. His boss always seems to give him the afternoon off.

I see on DigitalSpy that they are considering making a Blackadder movie. Now forgive me if I'm wrong but I believe that this has been thought of before. Iam sure they were considering making a 'Batadder movie' many years ago to coincide with one of the Batman movies. Although I somehow can't imagine Tony Robinson playing Baldrick in a robin costume- having said that I wasn't thrilled seeing Tony Robinson in a thong in the Christmas Carol parody.
And it's not only Blackadder that had threatened getting the movie makeover look. What ever happened to the Red Dwarf movie that was being discussed many eons ago. They ought to hurry it up, although judging by todays news, Craig Charles is already 'crack'-ing on with it!
Anyway. What other Comedies would you like a movie to be made from? I think that SPaced would make a great movie- or maybe it already has in the form of Shaun of the Dead! haha

I have been talking recently to a Musician about learning to play an instrument. I have always wanted to play an instrument and now I play the guitar- which I only do for fun.
But that wasn't the only instrument I had started to learn to play.
When I was a wee lad in Primary school I really wanted to learn to play an instrument, so I decided to take up the Cello. I don't know why I chose the cello- maybe it was the thought of having a shapely form between my thighs and making it sing with pleasure with my regular plucking.
However, in my school if you played an instrument, you were automatically put into the school orchestra. Now I only wanted to play for fun, I wasn't very good and I could hardly follow the music. I just pretended to bow a few notes every now and then, and turned pages when I saw everyone else doing it. I hated it so much it put me off learning the instrument.
I now kind of regret stopping the lessons and resent the school a little for that strict rule. I hope things have changed these days, and people can play just for the enjoyment of playing.

A quick look over Monday.
Went to work, Got wound up by the HM. She has told a parent that I will tutor 1-2-1 a year 11 girls who is refusing to join the year 10 class as she was supposed to. now I have extra work to do... Grrrr!

Went to town to see if I could find some Bamboo canes, but everywhere I tried couldn't help me. I never realised how difficult it was to find Bamboo canes. Is there a sudden influx of Panda Bears in Tumbridge Wells?

Got home and found the last secret in the Da Vinci Code game. I now have access to the last secret room. There had better be some majorly exciting ending to this

And now it's nearly time for Big Brother.
I hope everyone had a lovely Monday.

What made you start blogging?
Curiousity really. I'd not really known anything about it before I started

How many posts do you write a day?
three or four on average. I try to post something everyday if I can

Do you think people read your blog? If so why?
I'd like to think they enjoy my humour. I am a big kid at heart, and probably so are other bloggers

What musical style would you describe your blog?
Easy Listening. Maybe the kind of Cheesy tunes you hear in Lifts.

Do you read other blogs often?
There are several I read regularly- even if I don't comment. Otherwise I check to see who has recent posts on the homepage

What attracts you to other blogs?
A sense of humour mostly. Interests like my own. Oh and Big Breasts (Kidding)

What blog title would make you read a new persons blog?
I like to read intro's like "Hi I'm new to this..." See what they're like

What title would make you steer clear of another persons blog?
Mostly the political ones or ones that tell me how good certain eye cleaners are

Do you ever discover new Bloggers because they are friends of bloggers you know already?
All the time. If my friends like them, thats a good indication

As a percentage, how addicted are you to blogging?
probably 75%. I tend to think about blogging when at work. I can post blogs from work, but I cannot read my own blog, what with my content being so inappropriate!

Imagine you went for a job interview to be an eastenders scriptwriter

Interviewer: So CJ, Describe how you would improve the Soap
CJ: I would introduce new characters
Interviewer: Give me an example
CJ: Whatabout a plumber
Interviewer: A what?
Cj: A plumber
Interviewer: What would he do?
CJ: Plumb in washing machines into peoples houses?
Interviewer: Washing Machines? Are you mad? They don't have them in Albert Square
CJ: thats OK, he could work outside the square.
Interviewer: Oustde the square?! I'm not sure I agree with some of your outrageous ideas.
CJ: Ok what about this one. A Price Inspector.
Interviewer: And what would he do?
CJ: He will go into the pub to make sure the prices of the drinks are fair.
Interviewer: OK! Get out you Psycho!

And as Security drag me out of the building I could scream out "Wait! I havent told you about my plans to actually building a road that joins on to another road!"

Maybe the job is not for me!

My OH and I have just watched 'Just Like Heaven', a film that I rated 9/10. It was a weeper. And I didnt realise that the theme tune was a Katie Melua song. So we out it on and had a cuddle.

I finished the Da Vinci Code PS2 game. It was brilliant. I love those puzzle solving games. And there were soem tricky puzzles in it. I got all but one secret item, so I am now going to have to go and find the last one, just to see what the hidden extras all are. more puzzles I hope.

And the weekend is nearly over- and its been a relaxing one. I have needed it after last week. I even managed to have a nap this afternoon. Next week it should be better. I hope the weather holds up, we are holding a year 7 games day on Thursday. And on Friday I will be visitng my new school to find out some things I will need for next year.

I woke up this mornig (Duh duh duh duh duh)
And what did I see (duh duh duh duh duh)
No satellite Signal (Duh Duh duh duh duh)
Just blue screen for me (Duh duh duh duh duh)
Oh its worse than Rebecca Loos
I've got those Sky Blue Blue Screen Blues!

Anyway thats enough singing for the moment
Yesterday I saw Hard Candy. That is a great thriller- I recommend it. And guys prepare to wince as there is a scene in it that will make you cross your legs! There is some fantastic acting by the two main characters as well. Read my thoughts here

Doctor Who was good last night. With Danny Blue from Hustle and Peter Kay as the over-the-top northern Absorbaloff! I enjoyed seeing the story from a different perspective. It reminded me of that X-Files episode when they did it in the style of Cops! X-Cops I think it was called. And it had that actress who was in the Taming of the Shrew. I was expecting her to turn round and say Swivel.

Forget Rooney, Forget Owen (Oh I think most people have) There is only one man that will deserve Man of the Cup this year and that is our very own Peter Crouch!
Yes! Peter Crouch- The Goal Post himself. At 6ft 7 he could easily have played one of the Cybermen in Doctor Who- in fact he has the robot moves down to a tee!
And why do I like him? Because he seems so far to be very genuine and modest- and perhaps looks a little bit out of place amongst his peers (A bit like me) but he is good at what he does and he gets results (also a bit like me)
And he worked hard to get where he is. even though other peers ridiculed him

One club official unkindly said he resembled "Bambi on ice".

Oooh Bambi on Ice! Don't tell Disney, that'll be the next big Holiday show.

So lets hear it for the Crouchster. Number one of the World Cup! head and shoulders above everyone els

How the F*** do I get to Milton Keynes National Bowl?
My tickets have just arrived for Take That. I was hoping to get a refund but it never happened. And now I've got two tickets for Take That (Who I really want to see) but they're like in the middle of Scotland now or summfing.

Wembley would have been so much easier to get to. Damn those bloody Builders.

Ten Housemates, Thirty Cameras, Forty Microphones, One murder one murderer and no clues!
Dead famous by Ben elton, is based in a Big Brother-esque environment. The housemates are so annoying, you could kill 'em. But when one get's murdered live on TV, no-one knows who the murderer is, although everyone has there favourites.

It's not War and Peace but it's a good read

Grace has gone with 88% if the vote. Not as much as Slezer but still a high result.
And Boy did she get Boo'd. she has been such a bitch and I didn't even realise it.
And the last thing she did before leaving the house.... Throwing water over Susie. She's forgiving then. NOT

So who will be next? All of them I hope.

Has anyone seen that Frosties advert with the hyper kid floating off in the end doing some strange dance with wild eyes. I am not sure those Frosties were just 'Sugar' covered. "Its gonne be great"!
Class A Frosties anyone?

It's Friday Night and I imagine that some of you will be planning a good night out on the booze.
Well here's a question for you?
If you could go out drinking with any celebrity, who would you choose? Would you perhaps choose this pair of Party-freaks?

Yes it's MC HRH Wills and Hazza.
and here is the story

"PRINCE Harry nurses a hangover and brother Wills looks to be suffering too as they celebrate the Queen's 80th birthday hours after a late-night drinking binge. William, 23, girlfriend Kate Middleton, 24, and 21-year-old Harry left a nightclub at 3.30am after a marathon session."

What I really love about this story is the stuff they havent said. Like....
"However the Queen was still inside the club, downing G&T's and organising Conga dances across the dance floor, whilst Philip was in the corner telling Blue Jokes and giving Wedgies to all the waitors!"

The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams led the celebrations for the Queen, who was 80 in April and has her official birthday tomorrow

He started off by organising spin the bottle with some communion wine and ended up in the Vestry with a policewomans hat and a traffic cone! (Well who hasnt)

Also there were Prime Minister Tony Blair, Tory leader David Cameron, Lib Dem leader Sir Menzies Campbell and former Prime Ministers Baroness Thatcher and Sir John Major.

The lads sat in the corner playing strip poker, before the organised surprise arrived.. a stripper umped out of a giant egg. The stripper turned out to be Edwina Currie. thats the last time they let John organise the stripper!

I must stop writing this drivel now, Or I can say goodbye to my Knighthood!

Welcome to the Blog Lounge.
Why not come in and relax.
Kick of your shoes, pull up a chair and have a danish pastry.
Its Friday evening, and time to chill out

So, What shall we talk about?

Can anyone remember what the website was for the Word cloud thing?

A dainty trip through the headlines

"Bush creates new marine sanctuary "
Is this because of the Iraq fiasco? Is he also going to create an Air Force sanctuary?

"Actor Tom Cruise is named as the world's most powerful celebrity"
And from such a little man as well. So it just goes to show. It's not the size thats important, it's how frequently it is seen that counts

"Net poses dangers for soccer fans"
Yes. You're supposed to be aiming the ball toward it!

"Children brush up on dental care. Pupils across 47 primary schools in the east end of Glasgow are to have daily tooth brushing sessions."
When asked if they would consider Ar$e wiping lessons too, the government responded 'Don't be silly, that really will be scraping the bottom......'

I am still tired. I didnt get much sleep last night either.
This morning there was a very apologetic member of staff, who has now promised to buy me a pint to make up for it- so perhaps things aren't so bad after all
I didnt see the match yesterday but I saw some highlights on the news this morning, they were two very good goals. Well done Liverpool! Is till dont understand why when Crouch and Gerrard scored the goals- everyone is talking about Rooney.... and even Colleen got a mention on the News before the goal scorers!
I liked the German Headlines though- they've nicknamed Crouch as 'The Goal Post'! - Brilliant
Also on the news this morning there was a report (that I was only half listening to) about immigrants being forced to get cash-in-hand jobs. Which I thought was lucky- because there is quite o bit of cash in Hand-Jobs!

An I thought Yesterday was bad.These week is just getting worse
I really do not like Thursdays

There is a cat in school..... Hold on. What's gonna happen to the cat when the place closes? It may have to go to london like in Puss in Boots. Perhaps it has a little cat stick with a knotted hanky to keep its belongings.....

Anyway, sidetracked!

I was walking past the cat and it had to hurry as fast as its little furry legs to carry so as to keep ahead of me. It kept turning around and I imagine all it could see was my legs! (Lucky thing )
Then I started to think how horrid it must be to be the size of a cat and having to live with other creatures 10 times your height and all you could see was their shins striding past.
And then it struck me.... IS this how it must feel to be Michael Owen next to Peter Crouch?

Hmmm... thats today's ponder over.

Back at work again... and the power is back on! YAY
I have left my OH at home wating for the delviery of a new sofa. So she has got the old one in pieces around her feet and a pile of interesting things that we have found under the old sofa. I wondered where some of those magazines went. There was also a spider the size of Tobago under there- so I had to get rid of that for her. Although I now imagine that it is banging it's little legs on the door trying to get back in.
SO when I get home, which will be late, there should be a new Sofa to sit on.
And I am going to miss the match.
Damn all this BReadwinner lark. Why is it called being a breadwinner? Did they used to have competitions in the middle ages where the prize was a loaf of bread and if you won it your family got to eat?
I can imagine a Medievel Agg and spoon race now. Except I would probabily run off with the egg as well.

I am knackered.
At least last night it was cooler so I got some sleep.
I have been busy, busy, busy.
Its my duty week so I've been working late. And that means I will be working late tomorrow so I am gonna miss the match! Even the pupils I am looking after have asked if hey can watch the match... and I am so tempted. But I had better not. The HM has been stressing of late and She doesnt need another reason to flip out.
And the girls have been in silly moods of late
And there was a power cut today and all the computers went down, which is a nightmare when you are trying to write reports. Some teachers had just lost a load because they hadn't saved them.
And the consultation perios has started again. We've got to go through the whole Redundancy crap again. I have to make sure no-one knows I have got a jod so Shhhh everyone.
There is a thunderstorm at the moment. When I was driving home I saw some forked lightnin hit the road ahead. IT really is awesome.
There are loads of things I need to do, but at the moment I am too knackered to do any of it.
Perhaps I should have a drink

I hardly got any sleep last night. The weather was so humid and then there was a downpour at about 3am. And this morning I am so tired.
It has got a bit cooler now but it still feels sticky.
By god you can tell this is a british blog, everyone talks about the weather.
I heard on the news this morning that in Plymouth they are doing intensive training swimming lessons for kids. The Reporter asked "So how can you tell when a child can't swim?"
I so wanted them to answer "WEll we just throw them and if they start to sink....." lol
Anyway
Must get back to work.
Toodle Pip old Beans. Jolly good show and all that.

I am feeling lucky today...or maybe unlucky.
They say the chances of winning the lottery is 1 in 14 million... I haven't won the lottery so don't start getting excited. Now that is really unlikely. You are more likely to be struck by lightning... uh-oh that might happen tonight.
But why am I talking probability? Is it because I am a maths teacher? Probably.
I tell you now, stop reading if you get bored easily... or skip to the end.. but I have just calculated something.
Now I ought to warn you I will sound very childish and geeky now, but I don't care. I have the Doctor Who sticker album. There! I said it. {waiting for childish insults and mockery}. Anyway if you can get past that then this might interest you (I am assuming that if you weren't interested then you will have stopped reading by now- so you won't be reading this when I call you all ).
In the album there are 208 possible spaces. I had filled in 67 and needed 141 to complete it. Theoretically there is about a 67.8% chance that the next sticker I have will be one I need.
My OH bought me three packets (18 stickers)- bless her feeding my childish habits
First sticker is one I have got. Thats a probability of 67/208
Then the next one I have got. Thats another probability of 67/208.
The third one I need. That has a probability of 141/208. Now I have 68 stuck in and need 140 to fill in one of the gaps.
The fourth, fifth and sixth ones I have got. That has a probability of 68/208 x 68/208 x 68/208
The seventh I need. 140/208. (Now I need 139 and have 69)
The eighth, ninth and tenth I have got. (69/208)^3
The eleventh I need. 139/208
But the 12th to the 18th are all ones I have got (70/208)^7
So out of the 18 stcikers I needed three of them and had fifteen already. If you multiply all the probabilities it comes out as a total probability of 0.0000000197. Which is about 1 in 50million chance. What are the chances of that! In fact I am over three times more likely to win the jackpot on the lottery than for that to happen.

Must go now, I'm going to buy a lottery ticket!

God its hot. Why are school never air conditioned?
I am on duty this week so it's gonna be a late one tonight

Yesterday was a bizarre shopping day according to the papers
apparently there were hundreds of thousands of people out shopping in the morning but by 2pm, streets were empty and roads were deserted. Even the M25, the legendary Road To Hell (according to Chris Rea) was empty.
It really was a day of two halves.
The morning was busy. the sales of large screen TV's, lager, champagne, wine, pizzas, sausages chicken drumsticks and Ice Cream went up!

At Bluewater in Kent, shoppers began queuing at 8am, an hour before the stores opened. By 2pm it was empty save for a single shopper.

Imagine being the only shopper in Bluewater! Every shop you went in, you will be pounced on by eager shop assistants. Anf then all the store detectives would follow you around, because there would be no-one else.

How would you feel if you were the only shopper in Bluewater?

Heres an interesting question....
Boarding schools, Good or bad?
I have been reading some peoples opinions and here were a couple.

Ohhhh Im going to offend here, but I think parents that send their kids to boarding school when it is not absolutely necessary are::

kidding themselves on that it is good for them!!!

How self sufficient can you be in a place where you cannot even choose whether the lights are on or off? You do everything to someone else's schedule? Your life is ruled by bells (get up, go downstairs, go to school, have lunch, do homework, do laundry, have a shower, shine shoes etc etc etc....You cannot cook for yourself, cannot even choose what you will be having to eat....bah!!!

And here is a response to it

It's OK. You didn't offend me. I went to a boarding school. It was not what you might deem 'necessary' for my parents to send me there, as in there were perfectly good day schools around. But they thought it 'necessary' that I went to boarding school for, among other things, the life skills you pick up there.

You are right about the restrictions, eg lights out and all the other rules. But it teaches you discipline, and also the idea that you are ultimately responsible for the consequences of your behaviour (ie if you break the rules, you get punished). You eat what you are given, true, but that teaches you to cope, to survive in whatever situation you find yourself in. Look at how HMs fall apart when BB put them on rations. Boarding school would have got rid of such babyish behaviour.

Boarding school may not be right for everyone, but I heartily recommend it. Unless there is a good reason why not, all my children will be going.

The housemates referred to are the Big Brother Housemates.

I think I would have enjoyed boarding school personally. But I also liked the fact that I could go home and spend the evening how I wanted.
What are your opinions?

Sunday Morning, and as always I got up early to spend some time with my OH before she goes to work.
Normally I just potter around and watching sleeping housemates in Big Brother Live. But today BB has woken them all up! hey have to do a task. It's an endurance test, and the winner will (probably) get immunity from eviction. They have to stand on a podium and the one that lasts the longest wins.
Nikki lasted all of 1 second! As soon as she got on she shouted out "I quit I Quit! I can't take it anymore".
I hope Grace wins, especially after she heard all that Hateful chanting on Friday. If she doesn't win immunity, then it is almost certainly gonna be her out next Friday

Last night I took my OH out for dinner for her birthday. On the way out the neighbours said hello. I see they are back together as if nothing happened!
Anyway we had our meal. I had Deep fried Brie starter and Rump of lamp for main. OH had Red onion tartlet for starter and Red Snapper for Main. However my OH is a chef (5 star) and can be critical when things aren't done properly. I am much the same- it must be a profession thing. When I see some teachers I would think "I wouldn't do that" or "The kids aren’t listening" etc. Anyway back to the tartlet, and I don’t just mean the waitress who I am sure had a crush on me! When the waitress asked if everything was alright my OH decided to give her opinion on the tartlet. They had used a Sweet tartlet base on a savoury Dish! "It's not a criticism, its just that I don’t expect a sweet pastry base on a savoury dish"
Oh well, Apart from that the rest of the meal was fine.
.....
....
And then the boy next door arrived. My OH spotted him as he walked in. When he was at the bar, he spotted her and gave her a little wave, so she waved back. However he was out of my line of vision, so I leaned over so that I could see him then waved to him myself. He gave a shy little smile and waved back to me too! He then disappeared for the rest of the evening.

After that we came home, had coffee and cake and went to bed.

I bet shops are quiter today!
Its about to start
England V Paraguay
...
...
I hope Crouch scores!
...
..Wahey!3 minutes in and one has gone in! From a Beckham free Kick
1-0
... And 6 mins in and the Paraguay Keeper is being Subbed.
24min - Did that Parageezer just headbutt Gerrard in the kneecap? The Cad!

Half Time Thoughts. Beckham has played really well, Crouch has got stuck in,in a sort of Geeky-schoolboy way, but other than that there have been some mish-mashy play from some of the others. I can almost imagine Paraguay scoring an equalizer and then we will spend the last fifteen minutes in a scrappy defensive battle.

Second half. That Ref looks like some king of Villain with that haristyle. He's making decisions like he was a villain too!
Althogether now .... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Reading LJ's comments recently about wating for the next installment of last nights meal out, got me thinking about suspense. (Master of Susepnse- thats me)
Any it reminded me of a joke I was told years ago... well only half told. It was told to me by a friend
She said "How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"
I didn't know so I said "I don't know"
At which she replied "I'll tell you later"
The thing is, she didn'ttell me later, I assume she must have forgotten, which is really annoying because I never got to find out, and I really wanted to know.

Does anyone out there in blog land know the answer?

At last a place for me to go.....

GAMERS' CLINIC
EUROPE'S first clinic for video game addicts opens next month - and children as young as eight could be among its patients.
Eight-week courses will be held at the Amsterdam addiction centre where they have seen 20 game addicts aged 13 to 30 this year.

We what do you know... Amsterdam has an addiction centre

Actually the Clinic is easy to find but to get in you have to find the key. The Key is locked in a Vault guarded by two Zombies which can only be killed by the magic sword and the only was to access the vault is via the Ventilation ducts. But beware of the infra-red security beams and annoying and totally unnecessary Saw blades that appear for no reason.
If you do finally get into the Addiction Centre they won't ask you to sign in, but they will ask if you want to save your progress so far

Director Keith Bakker said: "We have kids who don't know how to communicate with people face-to-face because they've spent the last three years talking to somebody in Korea through a computer. Their social network has completely disappeared."

This reminds me of the other day when my pupil asked me how, If I didn't have computers at school, how did I use MSN Messenger.
I told her that in those days we had to talk to friends if we wanted to communicate

Previously on CJ blog....
on August the 31st 2005 I wrote this blog titled Sky Blues and the Giggle Stick.

OK. Summer is approaching and it is all happening again. Every year for the past four years I have had problems with my Sky satellite system. I don't know if anyone else does or if it's just me, but around the end of May every summer, all I get on sky is "No Satellite is being received." It started a few weeks ago but it was just happeneing during the day and the evenings were fine. But for the past two days there have been no signs of it working at all. I have even wiggled the giggle stick and still nothing.
This is gonna be another long summer of Satellite engineers and Blank Blue screens.
Bugger!
Does anyone know if hot weather stops the dish from working?

Previously on CJ Blog...
It's my OH's birthday today and she have just unwrapped her presents. Some of you may remember that we give each other lists so that we get things we want, and that my OH had asked for some things from Argos, and kept checking to see if the things were in stock or whether I had been to Argos recently. But after a few days, the queries stopped. Some of you suggested places I could hide the gifts so that she couldn't find them. But I decided to hide them in the car... more on that later.
Well today she opened her presents and was pleasantly surprised that she had got the items she wanted. It was then that I thought honesty was in order. So I asked her
"Tell me honestly. Did you see the item in the car where I had hidden them?"
She looked a bit sheepish but said no.
"It doesnt matter, you can tell me"
Once again she sort of looked a bit guilty and said "Yes I did see them, but I didnt want to tell you, so I kept quiet"
"I knew you had seen them" I said "Because you stopped asking if I had been to Argos yet"
It was then I decided to be honest.
"I have to tell you I knew you'd seen them. Because I hid them in the car on purpose so you could find them. You see I wanted you to know that I had been thinking of you and getting the items you wanted, so I hid them where I knew you would find them so you wouldn't worry about it anymore, and I didnt have to tell you"
She laughed.
I can be devious when I want to be

Anyway, we are going to go down to the pub in a minute to have dinner, it's just a walk away so it means we can have a drinkie too!

My OH and I were watching Big Brothers Big Mouth with that Russell Bland and it had Abi Titmuss on it. We have both heard the name but couldn't quite work out what she was famous for. I said that she was just famous really for being famous, just like Rebecca Loos, and she did something that was like a reality TV show. And this is the conversation that followed.

OH: So Was Abi Titmuss the one who had that ding-dong with Sharon Osborne?
ME: No, That wa Rebecca Loos
OH: OK, So was she the one that was supposed to have had the affair with David Beckham
ME: I dont think so. That was Rebecca Loos again
OH: OK, Is Abi the one that did the thing to the Pig then
ME: No, Once again that was Rebecca Loos.
OH: So is Abi Titmuss actaully famous for something at all?
ME: I'm not sure really, I thought she was was famous for getting her knockers out in the papers
OH: OK so she is well known because she had her tits out? Hence her name Adir Titsoutt!

Come to think of it I don't know what she is famous for, but I now realise two things about Rebecca Loos
1) Rebecca Loos has done some rather stupid things
and
2) I know far too much about them!

It's Thursday. I've never really liked Thursdays. I have my little Monte Christons, but they were OK today. But it has been a very busy day. Full teaching day, plus trying to organise our Maths day- we have come up with some fun ideas though, so it should be good.
When I came home my OH wa in a bit of a panic because the new microwave we bought had a bit that wouldnt fit in. I managed to fix it which was lucky, and it cheered her up, otherwise we would have had to send it back!
I have also spent ages wrapping presents as its OH's birthday tomorrow. All her presents seem sooooo big. I have gone through five rolls of paper! Plus my wrapping is crap! I am a firm believer in the 'patchwork' art of wrapping.
We got the new 'classics at the movies' CD today, which is really nice. I love the Pirates of the Carribean theme.
And now I feel tired. Well it is Thursday

PS Did I say that I pulled a second team in the World Cup draw. I got Brazil!

PPS: Is it just me, that never has time to even have a wee on really busy days. by 4pm I am bursting!
PPPS Have I just shared too much?

A quick flick through the headlines

Here are a few of the absurd headlines that I have seen today, and my take on them

COPS BARK AT SCHOOL
POLICE officers are learning Dutch after recruiting three dogs from Holland who refuse to respond to commands in English.
Perhaps the Cops should learn Chav as well for the same reason!

POPE RAP OVER GAY MARRIAGE
THE Vatican yesterday branded gay marriages an "eclipse of God".
I read this story and I was disgusted! That was never a rap! It didn’t even rhyme! I don’t think the cardinals should be called Your Eminem(ce) yet!

BRIT CHESS CHAMP 'IN PUNCH-UP'
BRITISH chess champion Danny Gormally is under investigation after a punch-up over a girl.
Can I just set the record straight. Arguing with an opponent for taking your queen does not constitute a bust up over a girl.

MONK HIT BY A BULL
A MONK was injured in an attack by a rampaging bull at his monastery.
This is a story I can empathise with. I hope it didn’t damage his vestibules! Or his canticles

Big Brother is a mercy. All that rowing and and arguing, screaming shouting and swearing. Wondering if it could get violent. I have to turn the TV on and up just to drown out the noise of the neighbours!

My god they have just had real Barney and the walls are Thinner than a really thin thing that gets even thinner by putting it into a thin making device.

...
...
..Oh oh ...She's just stormed off

I have felt old today. When I was in class I was chatting to one pupil and I just happened to mention that when I was at school we didnt really have computers. The look of horror crossed her face and asked very seriously, "How did you use MSN messenger?".... ahh bless.
And the discussion went to birthday presents and some were saying the things they wanted. So I said...
"When I was your age what I really wanted was a record player."
The same girl again looked puzzled.
"A What?" She asked. It was at that point a lay my head in my hands and said "Oh you make me feel so old"
"Is that one of the ones with the needles?"
"Yes!" I had a glimmer of hope
"With the huge trumpet thing"

"No that was a gramophone and I'm not that old!"
I then had to describe what a record was.
Still I did say that when they are older and have kids, they won't know what an iPod was!

I organised a World Cup draw at work today, as my futy as self apponted morale officer (Just like Rimmer). I drew Poland! I am sure they will win.....er.....maybe.

When I got home my OH, who has had a day off, was dancing in the living room to Massive Attack, Teardrop. So we had a little dance together. Then i said I had an old record that she might like. So I whipped out my dusty twelve inches (OO0er missus.) and played it for her. It's a track called Kiss Like Ether by Claudia Brucken. Brilliant song.

I'm Super! Thanks for asking..... No I'm not Big gay Al from South park. If Anything I'm More like Mr Mackey, M'Kay!

But why do I think I'm super? Well it all arose from a conversation we were having today at work.
With the Redundancy stuff going on, people have been feeling a bit down. A friend of mine said "I looked up redundant in the dictionary. It said 'superfluous to requirement'
That's what I am!"
So I replied "At least you're super something! See you not just Normal Fluous! You are Super Fluous!
It raised a smile!

Anyhoo, this is my 800th post! and How do I feel about it? I'm Super, thanks for asking!

I am having trouble placing my Gall Bladder.
Let me explain a little. I have been having fun playing around on the BBC site to do with Science and Nature
I have already tried the Brain Sex quiz. I did really well on the angles and 3d shaped(full marks) but I was crap at reading peoples eyes. They all looked like they were flirting with me!
And Now I am playing a 'put the intestines in the right part of the body' game. I had trouble pinpointing the appendix but I get there in the end. But now i m wandering around the screen holding the Gall Bladder and trying to squeeze it in anywhere.
Oh well, it's not important.

Its odd what you can find out doing these tests. Like the chemical that makes vomit smell disgusting can be found also in Parmesan Cheese! Eww! And i was gonna have Spaghetti tonight too!

When I first started writing my blog, back in the dark ages, I really thought I would have nothing to write about. I certainly didnt think anyone would ever read it. I got very excited over my first comment and pleased when I attracted 5 visitors a day!
But now it is nice that a few of you, who I consider friends, are coming back and reading the drivel I write. And I still have nothing really to write about, I have nust become more expert in waffling about it.
But it's you people that make the blog fun for me. It's like being the Landlord of my own pub. Where Regulars have their own stool and visitors can drink their pints in the beer garden next to the stinging nettles. And at night, I can have a lock-in with a select few and party the night away dancing to Agadoo and The Conga and eating the sausage rolls that Ian Beale has provided.

So why not pull up a seat and order a cocktail, although I would steer clear of the Screwdriver if I were you

For Sminchin...

For Eggbod and Kay

For Ros

For Lyndlj

For Aj and Cartlionel- I have reserved a table for you both

OK something gross has just happened. Dont read on if you are easily put of....
Well Our toilet has been playing up, not flushing very well and been leaking a bit (The cystern, before you start creating your own gross stories) So I have been up there with my screwdriver trying to fix things. Anyway I tried to fix it and to check I put some paper down to see if it flushed away.
Then my mate came round to pick up his present, so I got a bit distracted. I did hear a clunk from upstairs but thought nothing of it.
After my friend had gone I really needed the loo, so i went to have a wee, muttering to myself that the paper was still there and hadn't flushed away. Damn! Then I realised something. The Screwdriver was missing. it was on the sill weighing down the curtains which were now blowing around in the wind. It was then I saw it, glistening at the bottom of the basin beneath the newly formed hole in the paper. So I reached down instinctively to get it, totally forgetting that I had just relieved myself. It was only when was in there grabbing the screwdriver that the smell of it reminded me. Yuk!

PS I am now clean

Sunday morning.
I have just done my marking which I have been putting off all week. Why is it that I had 9 days to do it and I end up doing it on the last possible day? Some people may call me a pro (crastinator that is). I wonder if you can ever be an anticrastinator?
I had a strange dream last night. I was at work and no-one would talk to the HM because she was seen as a 'baddie' but everyone wanted to know what was going to happen to their jobs but only the HM knew. But I went to speak to her and she told me things and the conversation was overheard and I thought everyone would disown me but instead they thought I had insider information and kept grilling me for it. Actually I am not sure whether it was a dream or it actually happened! lol

I did get woken up in the middle of the night because some animal decided to rip open our bin bag. Well if some poor fox is desperate for an old cereal box and washing up liquid bottle then good for them. Perhaps it was a badger that is a keen Blue Peter fan and is wanting to make a model of Tracey Island! Who knows!

The sun is shining again. Two days in a row now so that can't be bad. My fiend will be coming over later to pick up his birthday present. I still have to wrap my OH's presents for next week. It always seems that the presents I get are always DVD shaped, but the things she wants comes in huge boxes! Actually she already has had her main present, a brand new thin mobile phone- I am quite jealous of it!

The Impossible Plant
Doctor Who tonight was one of the best this season. The plot was not forced or rushed and had a classic cliffhanger. I liked the way it was set in a space/mining station set in a harsh environment, all emphasised by the destructive power of the black hole around which the Impossible Planet is orbitting.
And I also liked the way the script worked the whole 'Hell' thing into it- with the Welcome to Hell sign and the '6 6 6' reference mentioned.
The Servile Ood made a great creation, with there sinister awakening through the awakening of Satan! I wonder if there will be many complaints about the use of Satan. I hope not because the next episode is called the Satan Pit!
The ending, as I said was a great cliffhanger, with the Doctor and Rose split up and both facing their own 'disasters', even if the Ood's attack is slightly reminiscent of the Gas Mask Zombies of 'An Empty Child'. Add to this the desperation of having lost the Tardis early on, all adds to the climactic feel of this episode
Congratulations! 10/10 A real Sci Fi Feel

Absolutely glorious day. This is Summer. Make the most of it because we dont know how long it will last.
I had a nice morning/lunch time ying out in the sun reading. I am reading The Stone Rose by Jacqueline Rayner. However I find it difficult to stay in the sun too long, so this afternoon I came in an wathced Jarhead. Now that was a gruelling film. I may write a review for it later.
And now its now and at the moment I am typing the word word and now I am typing the letter r, oh you get the idea.
It's been a nice relaxing day.
Cheers everyone- enjoy Summer

Yesterday I was at the cinema to watch a movie. The movies I have seen this week are: Poseidon, X-Men 3 and United 93.
United 93 is a powerful reminder of the 9/11 attackand is worth a look.
There is a guy that works in the cinema who recongises me now and we had quite e nice chat about films we've seen so that was good. It will make my cinema going more enjoyable. either that or he is just doing his job out of pity for the loner who goes to the cinema. Actually I have no problem going to the cinema alone- I think it's stupid for people to not do what they want just because they fell embarrasseed about being by themselves.
Stayed up a hile last night watching Big Brother live watching the other housemates mourn the loss of Sezer. You are allowed to dance and celebrate when you are in mourning yes?
It's now Saturday morning and the sun is threatening to come out

Its a Bunch of Fives that are doing the rounds

5 things in my fridge
Diet Coke with Lime - Hmmm nice
A thermometer temperature reading device
Half a pack of Bacon which I must use up tomorrow
Lime Marmalade - I like Lime
A light that hopefully goes off when you shut the door- but I have no proof

5 things in my wardrobe
A pair of grey trousers that I dont wear
Some shirts that are too small at the moment
Three suits
A remote control Dalek that I got for Christmas
Presents for my OH's Birthday next week

5 things in my pocket/handbag/ Wallet
My Phone which is kept on Vibrate otherwise I miss calls
Some housekeys with a Tesco's club card swipey thing attached
In my wallet there are Some cinema ticket stubbs for Alien Autopsy
My Union membership card which I have used a lot recently
My drivers Licence

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sezer is out with a record 91.6% of the public vote
His face was a picture.
It couldnt have happened to a sleazier bloke

A quick poem written after the story that Kate Silverton's blouse caused loads of complaints on BBC news

The Arousing Blouse
A poem by CJ

Here is the offending article. What do you think? Too much welly for Telly? Or is it that people in this country focus on the wrong things?
Discuss:

It is June and there are lots of fun things to celebrate this month, for instance did you know that June is National adopt-a-cat month and National Drive safely month- this is useful to know so that any other month we can be a reckless as we like!
It is also National turkey Lovers month, and i do hope they mean people who enjoy eating turkey, otherwise....

But there are also special days
Like did you know that today is Oscar the Grouch's birthday? as well as Donut day? Sounds good to me!

Other days to look forward to in June

June 3rd - Egg Day
June 4th - Cheese day
June 9th - Donald Duck's Birthday
June 10th - national Yo-yo day
June 12th - Magic Day
June 14th - Pop goes the weasel day (seriously)
June 15th - power of a smile day and Fly a kite day
June 21st - First day of Summer
June 22nd - last day of summer lol
June 24th - UFO day
June 26th - National Chocolate Pudding day

My personal higlights will be UFO day and Magic day. I must dust off my top hat and sharpen my saw. Any volunteers to be sawn in half?

Happy Birthday Oscar!

Guess what came in the post.... An application form, for the job i have already got! I suppose it's because the 'interview' was rushed because they had a vacancy they had to fill, but I didn't go through all the application rigmarole! And now I have to apply for it, lol.
but do I need to fill it in fully? Will I need to fill in the section that says "Please write in suppport of your application"? I think I will just fill in the basic info and leace it at that!

Edit: Now Faaaantastic has got me thinking..... The worrying thing is now, if things continue to reverse, after I have sent the form, a week later I will see the job being advertised

Adn I have also sent an email to the other place to let them know I won't be attending the interview on Monday. Now I'm off to see if I can find a cheap spine on E-bay

This strange interview was found accidentally on another blog. I have now rescued it "Indiana Jones" style and place it here where it ought to be.... the Enter the Void blog... The Egyptology Museum of the blog world

Interviewer: Good Morning CJ. Did you have a good night?

CJ: Quite Quiet really. Went to bed early without having anything to drink

Interviewer: And what is the first thing you've done this morning?

CJ: Well I seem to spend a lot of time getting rid of Crap spam

Interviewer: And what are your plans for today?

CJ: Well I have a ton of marking to do, so I ought to think up ways of avoiding doing that

Interviewer: Your name isnt really CJ is it? It's John! Come to Portugal with me! NOW!

CJ: Rose? IS that you? Run AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT PS I just want to add Happy Birthday Paddy. Not that its an afterthought or anything