It's the housemates. Enterd in to the Big Brother house last night andnI ammsure some of them looked familiar. So here are my initial impressions.

1. Bonnie – It's Bonner! Or is it lesluh from last year but a Mini-me version of her. My OH thought she had a look of the Bass from BB5.

2. Pete - It's a Lee Evans/ Jim Carrey cross with a chimpanzee. I think he has winner written over him. At least at the moment

3. George – He's alright. Nothing wrong with Public school. But he looks like Prince William a bit.

4. Shabazz – It's Lorraine Kelly. OK I nicked that off radio 1 but when I heard it I couldnt stop lauhing! He will be extreeeeeemely irritating

5. Lea- She's thirty something, well most of her is but bits of her are only less than two years old. I hope the parts come with a warranty. And now she looks over 60! Yeah, Jackie!

6. Imogen – Its Charlotte Church / Kerry Catatonic

7. Mikey - Ok who didnt think 'Vernon Kaye' when they saw him? and all that 'women should be in the kitchen' crap in his interview, desperate to appear controversial I think. He will be a lame wimpy bender!

8. Dawn – I think she's just come from a boot camp.

9. Glynn – Ah the baywatch twiglet. In fact when he stood next to Lea I thought the were Pamela Andsoff and David Hasslehoff. But he'd better not be in too long, he's got his SAT's to do soon.

10. Richard – wasnt he one of Right Said Fred? he is this years Dan obviously. And repeating what Dan did with Jason with one of the straight (If there are any) guys on there- my thoughts it will be Sezer

11. Grace – She reminds me of that Sclub girl who didnt go on Dick and Dom- Er- Rachel Me-vens

12. Lisa – Its Lucy Liu meets looby-lou I think.

13. Sezar- I think I missed him, he disappeared very quickly up his own ass! Made friends straight away with George- obviuosly trying to avoid the freaks in there. This Years Maxwell- and thats not a good thing! And looks like a failed Blue boyband member.

14. Nikki - Celebrity whore in the making. wants to be a footballer's wife.No chance I think. A cross between Lucy Ewing and Barbara Windsor in carry on camping! Trying to hard to be the 'loveable blonde dimwit' that we all liked in Helen.

OK Big Brother, I am hoping that tonight the twist will be that you turn off the cameras, lock the door and tell us who the real housemates are

News that schools are trying to make the lunches healthier is now surprise any more. Even since Jamie 'Right Cockernee Sparra' Oliver did his Kitcheny chicken-nugget program, it has spurred the government to act. But will this make kids healthier?
Of course not! And here is why
Taken from BBC News

The drive to promote healthy eating in schools is giving rise to an unexpected black market in junk food among children who are refusing to change their eating habits.

As a teacher I have often seen kids come with bags of lollipops to sell at break time, and this was before the healthy eating promotion. What will happen is that kids wont eat anything in school dinners, just the sweets they can get at break!

Fans of Just William and Grange Hill's Pogo Patterson might be forgiven for thinking the clock had been turned back to a more innocent era.

hehe Pogo Patterson was brilliant!

While knives, drugs and alcopops in schools may be grabbing the headlines these days, the emerging market in classroom contraband is altogether more surprising: chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks

Now those little pills that look like smarties won't be acid tabs anymore, they will actually be smarties!
They will start hiding chocolate fingers in cigarette packs and the price of 100% pure sherbert will go through the roof! But make sure it is 100% proof, you don't want it cut with some cocaine, or it will decrease the value.

I can imagine the scene.....

Teacher "Hey boy, whats that your hiding?"
Boy "It's a hunting knife sir"
Teacher" Thats alright, I was worried it was a Curly Wurly!"