It's funny how things are connected. I was only talking about Watching the other day, and look who's appeared in the Bill tonight, It's Our Malc! Paul Brown. God he looks old now.
If I watch long enough perhaps Brenda will pop out of the back office!

And the Big Brother Nominations are in
So here is an important number for the next couple of days

09011 32 33 13

Hopefully bye bye to the Sewer

As you may know, I have been posting quite a bit during the day. How is that possible? I hear you say? After all, is your blog not banned at work? Yes it is banned due to it's 'unsuitable content' but it's half term and I'm at home. So I can post as much Potty mouthed stuff as I want to.... except the thing is, I don't really post anything that is really potty mouthed at all.
It's the computer at work which blocks it, but I don't know why. Maybe it looks for specific words. I think it is quite mad, because one day it blocked Google off and even BBC GCSE Bitesize pages!

Anyway today I came across this news story

RAY'S HARD LUCK STORY
A MAN'S objection to his neighbour's house extension went unheard after his emails were blocked because they contained the word "erection".
By the time Ray Kennedy's third e-mail got past Rochdale council's obscene material filter, his neighbour's plans had got the go-ahead.
Ray, of Middleton, Gtr Manchester, said: "I was told the only way I could reverse it was in court.
"If it didn't affect me, I would no doubt find it quite funny

There you go. The poor guy had his protests about his neighbour's erection silenced! And now he has to live with his neighbour's erection staring at him every day!
Isn't it funny how some words which are quite normal, get the strangest reactions. I will never forget the day a friend of mine at school wanted to find out about the effects of whiplash, typed it into a search engine and was shocked at the types of pages she was offered!
And now I have a page full of erections, I will never get to see it at work again!

Weird Phone Call.
It was a wrong number but normally when you say that they have rung the wrong number, they apologise and hang up. I haven't had one before that argues back.

{Ring Ring}
Me: Hello
Rose: Hi John it's Rose
Me: I'm sorry I think you must have the wrong number (I kind of know this to be true seeing as my name isnt John and I don't know anyone called Rose}
Rose: I don't think I have
Me: I'm sorry, but there is no-one here called John
Rose: Are you sure John, or are you have a senior moment?
Me: {Calling to my OH) Hey! theres a woman on the phone who doesn't think I know who I am
Rose: I know who you are and what do you think about going to Portugal.
Me: I'm sorry, what number were you wanting?
Rose: {Reads off correct number}
Me: And what area?
Rose: Battle
Me: I'm sorry that's the wrong number
{Puts phone down}

Now she had the right number, except we're not who she wanted. I reckon John, whoever he is, was trying hard to get rid of this clingy woman and palmed her off with a fake number. He probably agreed to go to Portugal with her just to shut her up.

Oh My God there are Geeks everywhere and I am one of them!
At least they are everywhere in the Big Brother House. Taken from Channel 4 site

To fill their bellies this week the housemates have been instructed to flex their brain muscles.
Their intelligence will be tested,

Uh-oh they're in trouble

their powers of concentration will be stretched,

They are in serious trouble

and their dress sense will be turned bad bad bad, as they transform into geeks.

Dress sense? Since when has wearing trousers round your knees and having the top up your underpants showing been sensible?
And as for the girls- I dont think Nikki has been wearing more than a Hanky's worth of material

Throughout the Geek Task, all the housemates will have their powers of observation tested as they spot trains on a railway that Big Brother has installed in the garden.

Train spotting. Done that!

After that thrilling interlude, they will be divided into three groups and learn maths, language or science skills.

Maths, tick. Science, tick. Not keen on languages though.

Housemates must pass at least three out of four tests to win a luxury shopping budget. But it's basic rations if they fail. But really - on a Geek Task - how could they?

Oh my. Geektastic task or what. But wait.... lets look at the way they are dressing...

Aargh.. Its like looking into a mirror!

More Drama in Battle involving my OH. Well not really involving her but still...
When she got to work today whe noticed something were out of place. When she went to the office upstairs she saw the filing cabinet had been opened. They had been robbed. She called the owners and then called the police. She was then told not to let on to the other staff that there had been a robbery.
"Why is that bit sectioned off?"
"Er... because the boss has just had it repainted"
"Then why is there a policeman in there
"er.... checking to make sure the paint wasn't illegal??"
You can't hide gossip like that when the police are still there lol.
Anyway, judging by what was taken (And what wasn't moved)it looks like it could have been an inside job!

My day hasn't been as exciting. I have got my interview details from the other place, so I had better soon let them know I am not coming for interview. The Brochure doesnt look that welcoming. I am sure I can see an electronic tag on the kid on the front cover

Ok This is a Big brother related blog... again.

but George appears to be leaving.
I really wanted George and grace to get together.
Grace looks upset.
Sezer and Imogen are now counting how many people are left that will not nominate them for eviction.
Looks loke Sleazers Palace is crumbling Mwahahahahahahahaha

Edit. PS has anyone noticed I've done a bit of redecorating?

I am having trouble with crisps. Not all crisps but the 'Ready Salted' Variety Is this bad English or is it just me. I looked up Ready and in most definitions it precedes to and then a verb. For example Ready to Work or Ready to Learn or Ready to Believe. So should it be Ready to be Salted. But that can't be right because they are already salted. in fact the fact that they are already salted perhaps they should be called 'Already Salted'
" I'll have a packet of Already Salted please." Maybe it sounds worse, but at least it will be correct. Unless Ready Salted really should have been 'ready Salted Because sometimes the apostrophe means that a bit has been removed.
"Can I have a packet of apostrophe ready salted please"
And then there's Lightly salted crisps. Does this mean that somewhere there are Heavily Salted crisps?
And whatever happened to just Plain Crisps. Or did they stop saying that because plain sounds boring. Like in Hula Hoops they call them Original flavour to make it sound retro and exciting when really they mean plain!

Or perhaps I should stick to Cheese and Onion.

Last night I had a dream... that there were going to be two secret rooms leading off the 'nowhere' alcove in the big Brother Garden.
I then had to escape the clutches of the bad guys by infiltrating the secret headquarters, rescue the woman and the old woman and escape via the helicopter. Don't ask me why, thats just my dream!

Seen the new Housemates yet? One is blonde Airhead Chantelle like. Her name is Aisleyne (Pronounced Ashlene). The collective (Imogen, Grace and Sleazer) have already ganged up against her to slag her off. Feel threatened? They certainly do!
The other is a Scottish/indonesian man who likes to dress as a woman. I was kinda hoping Slezer would try to get it on with him before he told everyone.

Whilst I was ironing I was watching Teachers series 4. Now I have never seen series 4 before but I loved the other three series, Brian and Kirt were gods, but the fourth series didnt have them in so I was a bit unsure. And I wouldnt have bothered buying the DVD set if it weren't for the fact that it was on sale fo £11 in ASDA.
Anyway the show starts with what I can only describe as an uncanny and ironic coincidence.... two schools were merging!!!!! And the first episode showed what it was like to be in a staff room and class room wih two different sets of people. The staff at one school didnt mix with the staff in the other school. And in one classroom the pupils were split down the middle- when the teacher asked some of them to move to the opposite side, they all moved ending up with a mirrored segregation.
It was an ironic insight in to what could have happened. Perhaps we have had a lucky escape.

Hail the gods...

Previously on CJ Blog......
Back in March I was invited to a junior school where I was interviewed to find out if I was a robot or not.
The original blog post is here

WEll I have received some thank you letters from the pupils. And here are a few snippets from them. (Remember they are 9 years old)

Names have been changed to protect the immature

Dear CJ
Thank you for coming to the Junior School in your free time to see us during our English lesson. We enjoyed asking you questions to find out whehter you were in fact a real life robot. I think you are a robot because you walked like a robot and liked anything to do with oil. You also had an identity wrist tag. Lastly you seemed to organise things around the room.

Dear CJ
Thank you for coming to the Junior School. We really enjoyed it and I hope you did too. I and many other people still think that you are a robot because you went around tidying all the books but any other teacher would of just said "Straighten your books up Doris" or "Put that pencil back in its pencil case Doris" but as you are a robot you did it for us. When we asked you to circle the right answer on the board you put a square around it, so there!
Love Doris

It's Bank Holiday Monday and the weather has just gone really cloudy. The electronic Barmoeter is predicting rain and I can well believe it, although it's not raining at the moment.
I was thinking of going down to town, beause there is a medieval festival on, but I wont if it's pee'ing it down. Last year we went and there was a thunderstorm and there was a poor escapologist struggling to get out of his chains. The last thing I'd want to be is tied up in metal chains during a lightning strike
My OH is working today, so I may pop down to see how things are going, but if the weather is really bad, I cant imagine there will be many crowds.

Edit weather update. Its stormy again. De Ja Vu

On tonight's BB we have been promised new housemates. At least two to replace Dawn and Shabaz, although there is a rumour that Shabaz has begged to go back in! I am definitely enjoying watching the poisoned Dwarf Nikki get het up about George and Grace!

Is there a Bond Moive on today? No! Theres Zulu though and Ghostbuster 2 later. Oh I saw a preview for the new Bond movie in the cinema yesterday- Casino Royale. I think I will wait until I see it before passing judgement on Daniel Craig, I am sure he will do a fine job. I would have been better of course. (CJ592 is 007, Licence to blog)

Oh it'sstarted to rain now

Today is Da Vinci Day. no I am not going around pretending to be the Vitruvian man, but I have gone to see the film.
Now i know the plot is all about ..... hold on there might be a spoiler here. If you dont want to know turn off now and go make a cup of tea... and I'll have milk and two sugars in mine
....anyway back to the plot...
...
...
.. anyway the plot is all about a conspiracy to hide the fact that the Holy Grail is really Mary Magdalen who was Jesus' wife and she was pregnant and therefore there is a bloodline. And I believe this has upset a few people. Well all I have to say to them is... GET OVER IT! Seriously, it's only a story. I mean did the Americans complain after Star Wars worrying that all there secrets about the Star Wars project was being leaked? And as a story it's quite enjoyable, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, but I thought it didnt transpose to the screen as well as I'd hoped unfortunatley- but it was still good
See my little review here

And I also have the PS2 game. Now I enjoy code breaking so I was really looking forward to the game, but one part really annoyed me. And it was in the first level. The problem was I got to the Mona Lisa quite easily and I could see the code scribbled over the front so I scanned over it, wrote it down and cracked the code with pen and paper. Then I was stuck. I knew I had to find the Bacchus and the Uriel and I found them but I didn't know what to do. And I was wandering around for ages totally puzzled (both in the game and at home) so I gave in and looked it up on the internet. So if any of you are playing the game and stuck here, this is what you have to do... Use your UV light and highlight every single letter in the code. Then a screen will come up so you can crack it on screen. If you don't highlight every single letter, you can't get anywhere!!!!!
Oh So dark, the con of games and films

Today why not go to a friends blog, look at their list of tags, find one that interests you, read it and leave a comment. It's great seeing some of the old posts- especially from new friends.

PS. i just saw an advert for Cadbury's creme eggs in a bar. Hmm loverly. I'll be trying that soon!

So this one is about Baby names.
We've had Geri Halliwells new girl "Bluebell Madonna" - A bit of a brown noser in my opinion
And Angelina Jolie named her baby Shiloh Nouvel (Which I am sure means Crap Book in another language)
But why are the stars naming their children with stupid names???
Well I came across this article

The Sunday NY Times delves into the preposterous waters of celebrity baby naming, and all of the greatest hits get mentioned: Penn Jillette's daughter Moxie CrimeFighter,

Moxie CrimeFighter?????

Jason Lee's son Pilot Inspektor,

Pilot Inspektor

and of course, the reigning dumb name champion, Apple Martin. (Curiously, however, Nicholas Cage's Kryptonian superspawn Kal-el gets nary a mention.) The article interprets the trend as something of an creative-heir insurance policy: that no matter how ordinary the kid ends up being, at least something about them will be special, just like their famous folks.

"A name is free, it is something that everyone has, so if you are a celebrity, you are going to have to work that much harder to set yourself apart as a person with a specialized knowledge or a rarefied taste," said Pamela Redmond Satran, who has written baby-name books with Linda Rosenkrantz, including "Beyond Jennifer and Jason" (St. Martin's). She said a competitive impulse among stars seems to account for the recent bonanza of unlikely baby names.
"In a weird way, it's like anorexia" in Hollywood, Ms. Satran said. "Anyone can be thin. The famous have to be thinner."

Just gotta have the latest thing... a baby with a weird name

But the best thing about this article are the first two comments

I find your snarky attitude towards this refreshing display of creativity disgusting. As an aspiring celebrity myself, I always beam when introducing my son, Shaviour Mustache, to new people.

Back off lady, Anorexia is my baby name. Consider yourself warned.

Shaviour Moustache! I so want that to be true?

So what outrageous names would you call your kids? When I was younger I decided I would have two twin boys and call tham Deuteronomy and Leviticus, and have a little girl called Numbers! (I used to be religious)

I just wanted to say I am TOP. Well on the King predictor scoreboard that is. I want to state it now because it willprobably not happen again.
The King Predictor is a prediction game for different types of things. There is one for the world cup soon. But I play the Big Brother one.

If anyone wants to join a good Big Brother Yahoo group, try this one- Its Fantastic!

Tagged with a 'T'
Give ten words that describe you, that begin with the letter you are given. I was given the letter T by AJ, so here goes..

1) Teacher - obvious
2) Time Lord- firstly because of my love for Doctor Who and secondly because I am a slave to timetables both professionally and at home
3) Television- Its my favourite pastime. lots ofpeople say I watch too much, but I dont care
4) Ties- as in suit and ties! Favourite clothing
5) Timid- as in shy. because I am shy in real life. Blogging lets me express myself more
6) Talented- Maybe. I think I have a talent for making people laugh.
7) Theatrical- I have my moments but not in a Shabaz way
8) Tearful - I cry at weepy things
9) too childish- OK I wanted childish but AJ woulsnt let me have the letter C. {Stamps Foot}
10) Trustworthy - because I am. If you're my friend, you've got a Trustowrthy friend. Not necessarily always sensitive and I put my foot in it a lot and I sometimes say totally the wrong thing. but my hearts are in the right place

There you go.

After watching Eastenders recently and seeing Stacey Slater, who is byfar the best character in it, and Bradley Branning trying to get on, it has been getting me feeling nostalgic about the old TV show Watching. I have mentioned before that Bradley and Stacey's mismatched relationship reminds me a lot of Malcolm and Brenda's did from that Eighties Comedy show.

Well I decided to see if you could get Watching on DVD. And guess what you can, and I did. I have been watching it this morning.

And looking at the front, it reminded me more of Eastenders. As you can see there are four characters on the front picture and there's Billy Mitchell!
So here's how I see them

Hehe. And before anyone says, I know that the last one is that Big Bird from the Big Breakfast!

....................................................

Reasons why I like watching watching. I know its dated, just look at Liza Tarbuck's hair, but the script and Emma Wray's delivery is spot on!

Malcolm: Can I sit down?
Brenda: I Don't know, have your tried?
{Malcolm sits}
Brenda: See tht wasn't too hard was it.

{Walcolm bends over to look through his binoculars}
Malcolm: I don't normally bend over like this
Brenda: I should think not, with all those Horny-thologists around
Malcolm: I have a canvas stool
Brenda: Have you seen a doctor?

Have you ever been driving under an pedestrian bridge and seen sheets with messages on? I know I have. Often they say messages like "Happy Birthday Roger" or "Tony,40 today" but according to this news story the following message was seen painted on a sheet draped over the A45 at rush hour

"Steve, I'm sorry the baby is not yours. K"

Haha. Poor Steve. TO be honest I would have laughed if I'd have seen it. But Imagine if your name was Steve and had a partner starting with a K. What would you think? And on a busy road at Rush Hour. Could have been an accident. Still, it's more exciting than an email.

So my Blog Question to you... What message would you love to give on a sheet over a bridge, or do you have an even better (more public) alternative to e-mail.

Warning: This is a Big Brother Post

So Bonner (Sorry , Bonnie) is out. Voted by the public because they would rather have welsh Life Gaurd Glyn in. Personally I liked Bonner and I think she could have come out of her shell more. Shame we couldnt get rid of Sleazer or Image-gone.
Still Glyn has some more things to come. in fact after that Lap Dance by Lea and her two boys, I thought there nearly was something more to come! Talk about giving the dog a bone! however I do find it difficult understanding what Glyn says sometimes, which is amazing considering he is Head Boy. I mean If his speech won him that position, I dread to think what the other candidates speeches were like.
But Nikki continues to make me laugh. She wasn't born to be poor. Her parents aren't rich because they are middle class. The sad thing is, she believes the things she says

So thats three down (Shabadabadoo, The Dawn Patrol and now Bonner) but we have been told to watch on Monday as the replacements may be coming. I hope they shake up those dull couples!

When I saw this I had to post it

Sweet-toothed gull steals mobile
A cheeky seagull in south Devon has graduated from stealing food to taking mobile phones.

So sea gulls are turning into the hoodies of the bird world

It happened at Teignmouth Lido during a session of the town's swimming club.
An instructor put down a black phone, when the gull swooped down, picked it up and flew off with it before dropping it on to a changing room roof.
The gull is known to staff at the pool, who described it as having a fondness for Mars bars.

How does it get the wrappers off?

They think it perhaps thought the mobile was a chocolate.
One of the instructor's colleagues managed to retrieve the phone from the roof and it was found not to have made any calls.

Although it does list 'Gul' on the high score tables for all the games on it

Gulls are known for taking food from people at seaside resorts across the county.

I remember once when I was on a boat with some food, The gulls would fly right beside the boat, matching its speed, just to get the food.

But its amazing to see how animals are turning antisocial just like some humans. We've had Squirrels addicted to cocaine Chavvy Ferrets
and now Hoody Seagulls.
What next? Moles with Asbo's? Chihauhau Triad gangs? Its a grim time in the animal world

I am knackered.
Do you remember yesterday that I mentioned that there were some contacts given to me by colleagues. Well today another one of them paid off. In factthe DH fromanother school had been trying to get hold of me and seemed very keen for me to come for an interview. The job will pay a little bit more money than I am getting now. I have agreed to go for interview after Half term as I am going to see the other one tomorrow.
My OH has been caught up in a polica action gun drama today. I dont know if anyone saw in the news (Local BBC South East) about the police chase where a gun went off, well that happened down the road from where my OH works. She said during the day all the rumours were strife- it was like CHinese whisperes where every account got more graphic and dramatic. She was surprised there were amy people left alive in Battle by the end of the day. Apparently there was a chase and a gun accidentally went off. This is only the sixth time in ten years a bullet has been fired by poilice in The South east.

Anyway must go, Dinner time

Well Nominations have been announced. I will state clearly now that if you dont want to know who is up for eviction then dont read further.
But first Shabaz. he has gone. After all the recent stuff it was getting a bit worrying; i.e. stealing the food and hiding it, then admitting it was a mistake because he hadnt got any mint
I am not surprised he has gone. I bet the others had a party to celebrate.
And as for the nominations. They cant really call it nominations because no-one was nominated to be evicted. It's all to do with the brotherhood. Friends voted friends in so the ones left are the ones with no friends.
And so here is the list.
There are three people up for eviction on Friday.
Glyn, Dawn and Bonnuh.
After hearing the news Dawn decided to walk, to save the other housemates. Has she not seen this before???? If she walks the eviction will still go ahead out of the other two and someone new will replace her.
We already have to have someone to replace Shabaz. I am hoping it will be an ex girlfriend of Sezer the Sleazer. Or Ecx-boyfriend, I dont mind.
I find all this coupling off very boring. I cant see the point of Imogen or Mikey at all.
Come on BB. Now Shabaz has gone, we need to stir the pot or it will all go stale

Back at work today. Having to tell hopeful faces that it was a no and then regailing them with the horrors I faced

But it's all about networking. Already I have two further leads just from people here who know someone that know someone. So it's not all bad news then

Yesterday's interview was a nightmare. If any of you have seen the Apprentice, when its down to four people, each of them have a series of small interviews where they are ripped apart and then they have the big session with the boss. It was just like that. There were three mini one-on-one interviews which were hard work, and they feed back to the panel. Then in the afternoon one big interview with a panel, which included the presentation. And the were unrelenting, kept picking at certain points like Jack Russell.
The school was nice though. There has been a lot of money put into it, probably due to its allowance because to its specialist status. The probelm with status is that a school has to make proposals which then have to be set into action. The school has some big ideas and radical changes in the pipeline, some of which are things I don't necessarily agree with. There was a lot expected on the post I applied for, none of which was mentioned in the details before hand. The job in fact would have been a lot more demanding than a typical HOD just because of all the expectations of the Head because of the changes being enforced. I was not at all disappointed not to get the job. I actually feel sorry for the guy that did get it, because he will have to work with a SMT that are all 'go-get-em' and a department that are all 'we-dont-want-change'

I got an email from another place, one I really wanted. They have withdrawn the post as not available anymore, but will let me know if something comes up in the future.
So it wont be a busy rest o