Ever had one of those conversations with someone who doesn’t really have a clue what’s going on in the program you’re watching?
Me and my friend watching Eastenders
Oh look its Grant, I thought he’d gone
He had but now he’s back
Where has he been?
He helped Sharon out when she left.
Sharon? He was married to her? Where’s she gone?
She left
Why?
Her husband was killed.
Oh yes. He died in a fire
No that was Tom who died in the fire. This was Dennis
Dennis? Her dad?
No Dennis her brother
She married her brother?
Yes. And then he got killed by Johnny Allen
And what happened to Den? Her dad?
He got murdered
Murdered? Who by?
His Wife
Angie?
No. Not Angie. Angie’s dead
Angie’s dead?
Yes. this was Chrissie
And where’s Chrissie now?
In prison.
For killing Den?
Yes. But first Sam was charged with it.
Sam?
Samantha Mitchell. Grants sister.
Oh Yes. Samantha. Played by Daniella Westbrook
She was played by Daniella, but now she’s played by Kim Medcalfe.
And where is Sam now?
She’s gone
Because of the murder charge?
Yes! And because of her disastrous marriage to Andy Hunter
Andy Hunter? And where is he?
He’s been killed
Killed?
By Johnny Allen
Is there anyone Johnny Allen hasn’t killed?
Well he didn’t kill Danny Moon.
And who’s Danny?
Jake’s brother
And Johnny didn’t kill him?
No! Jake will do that.
So let me get this straight…. Jake is gonna kill Danny. But we all thought Johnny killed Danny, but Johnny killed Andy who was married to Sam who was done for Dens murder but really Chrissie killed Den. But Johnny also killed Dennis, not Sharon’s dad Dennis, but Sharon’s brother Dennis who she also married before he was killed. Is that right?
Well kind of, actually Danny killed Dennis……
Stop right there. I think I’ll watch the Simpsons