My world is crumbling around me. Not only are the words that I thought were words and have been using as words ever since I was using words turned out not to be words after all, but some of the mysteries of the world are being explained in mundane ways

I am referring to Nessie The Elephant

Is it possible that the loch ness monster never really existed, but the sighting was in fact the trunk of a swimming elephant from a circus? Its possible I suppose. But does that mean other unexplained things can be explained in mundane ways. Such as:

Crop Circles: Really created by Moles with little tractors

The Beast of Bodmin is not really a giant cat, but actually a really small cat viewed from up close.

Stone Henge: Not really a druidic sacrificial altar, but the ancient britons trying to beat the domino toppling record

And Bigfoot is actually Bungle from Rainbow who is now out of work, homeless and living in the wild!

So all the unexplained have now become ununexplained. (Now dont tell me that word doesnt exist)

I am not happy irregardless of my sunny nature. I have been lied to irregardless of my trust in my teachers. I have always been bad at the english language irregardless of my desire to learn.
So why am I annoyed? I have found out that the word irregardless doesnt exist, irregardless of the fact that I have been using it for years.
Apparently its a nonsense word that may be a combination of irrespective and regardless, a bit like Ginormous and Infomercial. But I have been using it for years and no-one told me. So what other words that I have been using doesn't exist?? Gadzooks? Blancmange? Sausage? Spunkweasel? Any one of those may not exist and I may never know. Damn those Spunkweasels!

Apparently its something to do with the Irr at the beginning and the less at the end and being two negatives making a negative.

I was even told that two positives cant make a negative...
Yeah, right!

Ok Lets talk German. But not a lot because Im not very good at it. Helly has been helping translate some german/greek/double dutch words from a comment. So far we know that someone likes bumfluff.
But Helly informs me that her german is rusty (well she shouldnt have left him out in the rain) Well if hers is rusty then mine is practically delapidated and half buried in refuse somewhere near Wigan.

But I did enjoy German at school, and I am very proud of the two sentences that I learned. So proud that I am going to share them with you (I apologise for spelling- it was never my strong suit!)

Hilpfe Hilpfe! Mein Bein ist Gebrochen Which means Help! Help! My leg is broken

and
Lumpi ist mein Hund Which is supposed to be 'I have a dog called Lumpi'. At least it should be, or else those bastards, Hans and Leislotte Meyer from the text books, were lying!

So If I am in Germany, and I break my leg near seomeone who is showing an itnerest in the name of my pet dog, then i'll be well sorted!