Another poem by Cj

Sudoku's a work of the devil
by cj
sudoku’s a work of the devil
There’s numbers and boxes galore
And everyone knows how to do them
‘cept me and the fogey next door
But I sit on the train with my pencil
and pretend that I know it by heart
And I’m filling the gaps quite at random
It’s all wrong, but it makes me feel smart.

Found in Shakespeares Waste paper bin.
never before seen
The original jottings from Romeo and Juliet

ROMEO [Coming forward.]:
hold on But soft! What light through yonder window comes through breaks?
It is the candle East, and Joanna Jemima Jackie Juliet is gorgeous the sun!
Arise, fair sun, and show us some leg kill the envious moon
Who is gagging already sick and pale with grief

JULIET:
O Rodney Ralph Reggie Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Sod Deny thy father and get your kit off refuse thy name;
Or, else if thou wilt not, then I'm buggered be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Copperbottm Postlethwaite Capulet.

Ordinary World by Duran Duran

This song is one of my favourite songs. But it also makes me sad. Makes me sad because it reminds me of a friend I once had and that I was a bad friend.
When I was at University I had many different circles of friends. One of them, whom I shall call Andrew, was gay. This was in 1992. We kinda became friends through mutual friends. Sometimes our group would go out to clubs and so on. One day he asked me out (Not like that; he knew I wasnt interested, so to speak). Previously we hadn't gone out together alone, but as a group- although we chatted a lot. (The prats in the corner not dancing!) But I often got the impression that he wasnt a happy person.
Anyway we went out together. The evening started and he told me that he wanted to tell me something but not until later. We had a good evening. He copped off I seem to remember. Then when we went home he told me that he wasnt really happy. The song ordinary World was in the charts. He told me that the way he felt was in the lyrics. He asked me to listen to the lyrics and call him.

I never did
I never saw him again. In fact no-one knew where he went; just a rumour that he moved to Torquay.
Months later I listened to the sung. I remembered what he said. And I got sad. Because I think I realised what he was trying to say.

Here ae the lyrics

Came in from a rainy thursday on the avenue
Thought I heard you talking softly.
I turned on the lights, the tv and the radio
Still I can’t escape the ghost of you
What has happened to it all?
Crazy, some’d say,
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away...

But I won’t cry for yesterday, there’s an ordinary world,
Somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way, to the ordinary world...
I will learn to survive.

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say
Pride will tear us both apart
Well now pride’s gone out the window cross the rooftops, run away,
Left me in the vacuum of my heart.
What is happening to me?
Crazy, some’d say,
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away...
(chorus)
-
Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
(just blown away...)
And I don’t... (chorus)
Every world, is my world... (I will learn to survive)
Any world, is my world ... (I will learn to survive)
Any world, is my world...
Every world is my world...

I think he was struggling with his sexuality; he wanted to join 'an ordinary world' and it was making him crazy/unhappy. It kind of fits the way he was and the way people talked about him. I hope he found happiness somewhere and didnt... well, you know.
But the line that gets to me the most is the one I should have heard that night when he wanted me too.

Where is my friend when I need you most?

And I wasn't there....

New poem

The Big Pretence
By Cj

People think that I know what I’m doing but I don’t
People think that I’ve got it all sorted but I don’t
The problem is I haven’t a clue
I just pretend as if I know what to do
And I know that I sometimes get it all wrong
But I’m making it up as I go along
And there’s too many people depending on me
So I must do my best to let nobody see
That I go with the flow
But I won’t let it show
No I won’t