Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up, nude, in a garden while a nude model danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his privates, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The model danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response until she got to the final monk. As she danced, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and eleven other bells began to ring......

With one eye on the TV and one not, I didn't want to jinx it, the result was a good one. 1-0. Liverpool beat Manchester United. Great! and then I went to have a bath! and thats when something spooky (or just freakily coincidental) happened. And I don't mean the fact that I had a bath.
I decided to listen to my iRiver. I haven't listened to it for ages. I have it on random shuffle and there are thousands of tracks on it. when you play it, it continues with the last song played and then randomly chooses another track.
Anyway I turned it on and relaxed in the glory of a football win. And gues what song started playing; the last track that had started many weeks ago.... it was G4 singing You'll never walk alone! Spooky or what!

Favourite Quote at the moment "A people should not be afraid of it's government. A government should be afraid of it's people"

SATURDAY morning TV hellraisers Dick and Dom are to be thrown out of their BBC bungalow after more than 260 episodes - because their antics are too rude for children.
The BBC today confirmed kids' show Dick and Dom in da Bungalow will not return when the current series ends in March

Hellraisers?? Hellraisers?? Thats a bit strong. They may be rauccous and a bit rude, but they are hardly Pinhead, the leader of the Cenobites.
I am sad this is ending. I am sad full stop. I hope they find something good to replace it.

The Mighty Truck of Stuff, featuring Reggie Yate gathering gifts from around the country and then giving them away, will appear in its stead.

Oh Yippee (NOT) a big bus travelling around the country with prizes on it! What will they do next? Stop teenagers from Performing Romeo and Juliet becasue ther might be a little bit of kissing in it?

Pupils could be barred from acting out love scenes in school plays if draft guidelines are followed, warn teachers. Teachers claim the guidance could mean plays such as Romeo and Juliet could be robbed of kissing and lose meaning.

Oh Bollocks!

Quick Quiz: Can you spot the dick and dom from the pictures below?

"Three plus five is eight" Tom added

"but sixteen divided by five is three remainder one" Said Tom, divisively

"Hold on wait! Three fours are twelve!" Said Tom, keeping up with the times

Something to do when you're bored: Phone up a Chinese restaurant and ask if they do take-aways. If they say yes; ask them to do 498 take away 612!

Read other Tom Swifty related blogs

Today:
My fourth midsomer murder DVD came today. I'm gald that there doesn't seem to be any more delays. Fingers crossed.

Also my ebay winning bid arrived aswell. Some old Eagle comics. I have a small collection which I am keeping safe. maybe one day they may be worth something.

I went into town to get my hair cut but there was a huge queueueueue. I couldn't be bothered to wait so I came home

I have been listening to a doctor who Audio CD in the car. It's the story Jubilee starring Colin Baker as the 6th doctor. It's release date was January 2003 and it's opening episode is almost exactly the same as the start of the new TV series Dalek. They are torturing the last knwon dalek, who isn;t talking but screaming. The doctor hears the scream and runs to save it. The Dalek recognises him "Doctor! Exterminate!" but can't because his weapon is not working. Sound familiar????????

I have also added a new quiz to my inquizitor blog and a review of Casanova which I saw yesterday.

I am considering watching the match, Liverpool v Manure, except I have noticed a pattern forming. When I watch a match we lose, and when I don't, we win. So shall I watch it? Or are there any liverpool fans willing to pay me not to?