After flicking through my Sci-Fi Mag (You know the one- It comes out Geekly) I noticed that there were some new action figures for sale. Now before all you lads get wet with excitement or all you gals get bored and start plaiting the rainbow hair of your My Little Ponies, these weren't typical action figures. They werent Star Wars dolls or Star Trek or even Doctor Who... no! the latest action figures to hit the market are .... the official Chitty Chitty Bang Bang models. You too can have hours of fun tinkering with Professor Potts Senior and his flying shed, or have a some intimate time with a toymaker in your closet. If thats not bad enough, they didnt even have the car! Fancy making Chitty Models of all the characters and not even make the car! Thats just Shitty Shitty!

Well TV certainly is Edutainment. Watching the Richard Hammond Show I have now learnt that Yoghurt makes a good Face pack, Jelly make a good replacement for Hair Gel (And possibly a mid morning snack) and Peanut butter makes good Shaving cream
Also, Toothpaste is quite effective in cleaning Silverware, but beware, the reverse is not true. It is NOT a good idea to clean your teeth with Cillit Bang, even if Barry Scott tells you too! Remrember Barry Scott is not a dentist, he doesnt even work for Cillit Bang... in fact he doesn't exist

Watching the news tonight they are showing an item where a 7 year old was given homework to write a pasionate dating advert. I wonder if the Teacher was too lazy to write their own!

SO this leads me to my blog question. I have a friend who has kids at primary school. The homework set them is too hard for the kids so the parents do it for them. This happens for all the kids in the class. Apparently Matey has phone conversations with other parents regularly to discuss how to do their kids work. And the school continues to set it because it looks good "Our kids get high level work" and the parents like it "Hey look at the level of work our kids do" and the kids don't seem to mind it 'cos they dont have to do any work at home.

So my question. Do any parents out there do their kids homework for them?

OK OK enough having a go at my sideburns!

Here I am just quietly watching Home and Health Channel (OH's choice) when the doctor on it said "in inverted Commas". Now I have never known anyone to actually use "In inverted commas" as part of there normal vocabulary. So there I was quietly taking the mickey out of the rich handsome (Not jealous) doctor for using the term "In inverted commas" and vowing to myself that from now on I am going to try to use the term "in inverted commas" more frequently in my daily vocabulary but if I ever did say "in inverted commas" I would say it in inverted commas, when my OH said "At least he has proper sideburns!

Well I have proper sideburns, sometimes. It's just at the moment they are a touch bushy.

FA Cup Fifth round

Oh Bugger!

Preston/Crystal Palace v Coventry/Middlesbrough

Newcastle v Southampton

Aston Villa v Manchester City

Everton/Chelsea v Colchester

Charlton v Brentford

Liverpool v Manchester United

Bolton v West Ham

Stoke v Reading/Birmingham

Looks Like Preston is being sent to Coventry. By his girlfriend perhaps after his antics with Chantelle???

Here is a blatant Plug

Why not nip over to Paddy's place and find out about the Bloscars!

And Another thing. Has anyone else seen the 'make money on your blog' advert? Anyone going for that?

Haha. Just watching Richard Hammond on the 5 o clock show. He introduced Bonnie Langford as "She's Ginger and she nuts the floor a lot" D

I like Bonnie in the 'Stricly Come Celebrity Ice Dancing on Ice' show (Is that what it's called?) I think she's come second. John "Doctor Who" Barrowman will probably win. I also like Barrowman. He was good in Anything Goes in the West End, which I saw twice!

I have just checked the Cinema schedule for next week and at last Brokeback Mountain is coming to the local flicks. Now there is something I fancy seeing as I certainly not interested in the new Jennifer Yawniston film. And Munich looks a bit too heavy for me

Or I could see Zathura whichs is Jumanji in Space, but without any famous people in it.

Back to the TV. OMG that mans facial hair is outrageous! Is He also a facial whore?

I have had a relaxing day. Just watched Invasion and Supernatural. Nothing like a good bit of alien/monster mystery to entertain.

Liverpool managed a 2-1 win against Pottymouth, so we're through to the next round of the FA cup. Did someone mention Arsenal?

My OH is wonderful. she has many marvellous and mysterious talents herself. Here are my favourite.

1) If I eat anything during the day, for lunch or whatever, when she comes in from work she knows exactly what I have had.... even if I spend hours clearing up any traces.
2) We have a really small freezer, but it doesnt matter how much we buy she always manages to fit it into the freezer! It must be a Tardis in there. Whenever I try I get a bruised foot!
3) She is remarkably clever at finding new and inventive ways of hiding 'clutter'. I come home to a clean room and three weeks later I open a drawer or lift a lid and I find something that had been missing for ages

God bless her!

A new poem from the pen of CJ

The Dunstable Werewolf: A Lament
By CJ

I’m doomed to this feeling of misery
Now I’m living this life of lycanthropy
The life that I lead is taxing
Too much hair on my back for waxing
And when the full moon is there
I get covered in hair
I get down on all fours
I grow claws from my paws
And I howl and I growl
And I hunt and I prowl
And I’m stalked by the local constable
Pity this poor youth from Dunstable

Please don't ask what the inspiration of the poem is, It's silly

Snippets harvested from the week's news, chopped, sliced and diced for your weekend convenience. From the BBC site

1. Whale vomit is used by perfumers, to whom it is known as ambergris, and costs £11-a-gram.

2. Whales don't drink - they get their water intake from their food.

3. Aged 13, John Prescott travelled to Brighton with his family to compete for a £1,000 prize in the Most Typical Family competition.

4. Twenty-eight percent of retail sales in Britain, by value, are shops' "own brand" goods.

5. Stephen Fry drives a black cab while in London. (Simon Hughes, however, drives a yellow one.)

6. The composer behind the UK Theme, the medley of English, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish tunes which is soon to be axed from Radio 4's early morning routine, was Fritz Spiegl, the man who also wrote the tune to Z-Cars.

7. Chris Martin wanted to hyphenate daughter Apple's surname, but his wife Gwyneth vetoed the name Paltrow-Martin because "Apple Blythe Alison Martin is just so lovely".

8. Heather Mills McCartney told her husband Paul that she would only marry him if he gave up smoking cannabis.

9. One percent of heroin addicts in the UK are treated with state-prescribed heroin.

10. In the 1960s, the CIA used to watch Mission Impossible to get ideas about spying.

Just finished watching Sea of Souls. I am constantly being impressed by this series of the show. I love a ghost story and that one was superb. That poor dog! Got it;s own back in the end though.

I have also finished the Sims2 on PSP story mode. I managed to defeat Doctor Dominion and unplug his weird Evil Cow milking machine! It was a good game, shame about all the dodgy loading times though

As you know I have been keen to embrace my Geekhood, as are many of you. Be Proud! Tag yoursefl in bold Letters GEEK! And join the fraternity, the brotherhood. (Would a sisterhood be a sisternity? Sounds like a plumbing term)

And it is cool to be a geek. I have proof on this article I found on the Guardian News Blog.

“Whereas once geeks were seen as solitary, embarrassing and uncool, the statistics show that New Geek is chic, popular and hugely influential”, it says here.

New Geeks are much more fun than the rest of us. New Geeks are typically young (by the channel’s generous definition - 83% are under 44), wealthy (21% have family income of more than £50,000) and are party people (they’re 125% more likely to visit pubs, clubs and bars than the average person). A third of the 835,000 female gamer geeks in the UK spend more than £50 on games each month.

So are you a geek

Check yourself on the Geek Checklist

So, you’re a geek if…
• You have a passion you pursue
• You spend lots of time, money and energy on your passion
• You are someone your friends ask for advice on what to buy or do, or where to go
• You are a “media sophisticate” (well, clearly, you already are if you’re reading Newsblog. Ahem)
• You – I’m going to have to quote this bit – “customise your t’s and wear underground labels”
• You’re forward thinking, so think “London going for the Olympics is good use of taxpayers’ money"
• You’re a fastidious researcher – especially using Google
• You’ve endless knowledge that you’re willing to share on your specialist subject.

So, are you?

I dont normally advertise companies but has anyone seen the new Travelodge adverts? They have signed up Chantelle after claiming she was a Paris hilton Lookalike "I'm more like Paris Travelodge" she said.
And Now Travelodge are opening one near Preston. What an opportunity too good to miss

So after Big Brother who are the real winners? Michael Barrymore is set to get a new TV show after producers feel his second place is a way of the public shiwing they love him.

Pete Burns has been offered a TV chat show after his acid tongued attacks on the show. But the question will remain who will go on it? I doubt Traci will

Even Rula has been offered a cat food advert. I wonder if George will appear

And other TV news, after the success of Ant and Decs gameshow marathon, it loks like there will be new evivals of Bullseye, The Price is Right and Family Fortunes. Actually I think that My Blogily fortunes is the reason for that re-instatement

Bet the best news of all (and this will plaase Evil Edna)there is a possibility of a second series of Firefly!:D

Last night We went to see Holiday on Ice in Brighton. And it started snowing. Where did that weather come from?
Anyway, the show was very good. I was surprised how small the actual rink was, and I wonder if it's size limits the amount of moves possible. But the set pieces were good. The theme was 'Diamonds' and the show had sets based on that theme. You could forgive the few mistakes (Is it wrong to laugh at them?) because the rest was so good... and not only Ice skating but some very daring acrobatics and trapeze work. They were really good trapeziums!
There were many highlights of the show. The chess match on ice was well played as the skaters acted out the game with vigour. Also the pirate ship was spectacular and the stuff with the gorilla was funny. Nice to see Pete Burns Coat making an appearance.
But my favourite part was not really ice skating. They turned the lights down except for a flourescent one and the skaters came in carrying large 'fish' kites. The movemnt made me feel like I was watching the ocean. It was fantastic.

But there are always things that spoilt it (but not by much) and thats the other people in the audience. There was one couple in front that, when it came to clapping along to we will rock you, were completely clapping out of time. But I'm going to forgive that because at least they were having a good time. But the most annoying thing was the little brat behind who had a whistle. And he whistled and whistled and whistled all the way through it. Even when Whistlers Mother tried to get him to stop, he didn't. He just whislted and whistled and whistled. That was annoying!

And we have a winner. A new celebrity. It's Chantelle innit!

Oh dear. She has got so excited that the oxygen inside her head has exploded. Look you can see it fizzing and sparkling. There was some flammable gas in there. I hope her make isn't flammable (r been tested on animals)

Here is a new poem

Sometimes it's hard being a brother

Sometimes it's hard being a brother
Especially when people like one not the other
That's my brother
He's cleverer than me
He's betterer than me
He gets the best, leaves me the rest
Winding me up like a spring
Winding them round his little finger
I don't mean to be a whinger
but he brings out the worst in me
Why can't they see
He's no saint
they just paint him in a better light
So all I can do is fight
for my place
for my case
In his face
Damn! I'm in trouble again

It is not about me or my brothers
but it was inspired by What I imagine Cuddles the Monkey thinks about Orville..... Honest

Tonight I am going out so i'm gonna miss the BB final. I will have to record it and catch up tomorrow. I had to laugh last night when BB asked Barrymore what he had learnt from Chantelle. "Chantelle has taught me to keep it simple" Hahaha. Poor Simtelle.

But tonight I we are going to Brighton to watch the holiday show on Ice. I've always wanted to see one and this one looks quite spectacular- with a gian pirate ship coming on. Will post afterwards with report.

Also we have booked tickets to go and see the Producers in London. After seeing the film I am keen to see if it is better when the audience is laughing. Wathing it in the cinema was stifling, you want to laugh but everyone is so quiet. Except for this old lady a few seats down who laughed very loudly at every gay/sex joke there was. When I grow up I want to be her!

Talking of Movies, I see in the news that there may be a Grange Hill the Movie being made. And it is set in Liverpool. Now I havent seen grange Hill for years, ever since the 'Just Say No' years. But I thought it was set in London.

Still Grange Hill the Movie can't possibly beat Pac-Man the Movie- who may be approaching Pete Burns to play the lead!

So Big Brother is coming to a close. But who do you want to win??

Will it be Michael

Or will it be Chantelle

Or perhaps even Pete Burns

All I can say is that I have enjoyed it and I will be looking forward to BB7 in the summer

Who Gers.. Yer Deciiirde (Imagine the accent)

Mitchellitis(Mitch-Hell-Lie-Tiss) :- The appearance of nasty irritations which are highly localised around one area. Marks can form including some small pimply spots with large swollen red heads. Once certain strains appear they are hard to shift, such as the Philitis and Sharonitis and some older strains can flare up causing nasty bruising; such as the Grant-cyst. However when the strains are around they spread and new variant strains appear such asthe new Ben and Courtney strains

Similar Viruses include; Dino-wicks Disease and BradleyBrannilingus

Last night I went to Tesco's. I was gonna blog this last night but I got sidetracked by my undercover work.

Any way I went to Tesco's with my OH who needed some stuff cos she's a Chef. I tend to potter around and look at the manly things like CD's and games. I bought the Arctic Monkeys Album for £9.77. Which is So much cheaper than in Virgin.

Anyway my OH told me she wanted some pickled lemons. I laughed. I thought she couldnt be serious, but no, she wanted some pickled lemons! Pickled Lemons????? Who would have thought it? I cannot believe that someone once looked at a lemon and thought "Theres a fruit that needs pickling" Anyway she couldnt find any. "Perhaps it's more of a Sainsbury's thing" She mused

Anyway back at the till. Not a long queue and it was being helped by an old guy who was packing for the customers (He was actually a wroker there- not just a shopping pervert). So we were going through the checkout and I realised that my Shopping was piling up. I turned round and there was the packing guy, being distracted by a baby! He was going all gooey and gurgly at this baby from the next isle. So I had to pack my own shopping. I didnt mind, but as soon as we'd gone he started packing for the customers again.

There you go. A whole blog about nothing but a trip to Tesco's. I'd be surprised if anyone gets this far reading it. If you do HELLO

Question for you:
Which is your favourite Ape related band?
1) The Monkees
2) The Gorillaz
3) The Arctic Monkeys
4) Pete Burns

PS this is my 400th Voidal Blog

Having popped into Jake and Sarahs Blog, it led me to the Googlisms website.I entered cj and here are a few of my favourite results

cj is facial whore
cj is in need of a loving home in va
cj is god
cj is now a permanent member of the family and has made it known that he is here to stay
cj is done
cj is a very interesting and amazing child
cj is the man to call
cj is free for site owners
cj is currently rated 4th in the world
cj is one of them
cj is making a political judgment on behalf of the executive arm of the government
cj is behind him
cj is a secretary at a famous energy company who steals documents that could expose the business for fraud
cj is a cute undercover narcotics agent looking for an illegal shipment of chloroform
cj is very easy
cj is an expert in dieting and nutrition that guarantees results
cj is an unusual case; he is extremely old for an infantile case of krabbes
cj is fully automatic
cj is the man
cj is a quite humble person and doesn’t take being world champion lightly
cj is an easy way for them to dispose of items
cj is powered by a 4
cj is granted custody of little eric
cj is the only snipe program that fights for the snipe
cj is so rambunctious that we may need to put him in preschool just so we can catch a break
cj is locally based out of battle creek
cj is fine
cj is powered by a somewhat unusual engine
cj is distracted trying on a stunning black vera wang dress
cj is totally unexpected

Tonight is Burns night.

People all over the country have to dress up as Pete Burns and find someone to victimise whilst wearing fake rubber lips

If you are as upset as me about missing National Measure Your Feet day then I think we should start planning for February.

What National event/occasion would you wish to celebrate in February. Leave your ideas in the Comments and I will add them below

To Start

February 1st: National adpot a pebble Day.
February 2nd: National Dunk a rich tea in some Coffee Day
February 3rd: National Whistle while you Wee Day
Fourbuary the Ferth: Spational Noonerism Day
February 5th: Hug a Goth Day
February 6th: Do a Haka War Dance before Eating Day (From Skip2468)
February 7th: Intergalactic Declare yourself a member of the Galactic Empire Day (Inspired by ajnspencer)
February 8th: International Train as a Jedi Day
February 9th: Donate a doughnut to Dogs day (From Helly)
Ferbuary 10th: National wink at a policeman day
February 11th: International February 11th Day (From ajnspencer)

February 14th - Stop giving in to commercialisation of saints days day (From Ajnspencer)
February 15th: Return the ring to the jewellers day (from Lindlj)
Feb 29th - National "I bought the wrong calendar day" (From graemephillipsuk)

And the award for the Most Jealous and Green Eyed Monster and therefore spouting the most Bo!!ocks award goes to
..
..
..
Imagine an impressive Drum Roll
..
..
George Galloway.

He was so furious with Chantelle and Preston that they got to eat and drink and smoke Cigars in a secret room during their task that he needed to vent his anger.
"If I'd have been called in there I would have stood ramrod straight, refused to sit down, refused to eat, refused to drink, refused to smoke. I would have said 'you brought me here under duress, but I will refuse to partake in things that the others are not allowed'

But I tell you this George

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

After the news that Yesterday was The most Depressing day I ecame interested in other special days and I was disappointed to find the yesterday was National Measure Your Feet day

I cannot believe I missed the chance to measure my feet!

But what about today?
Apparently it is National Eskimo Pie Patent day. There is no better day than to remember the man, Christian Kent Nelson, who invented the pie after a young boy couldn't decide whether to have ice cream or candy. It was originally going to be called I-Scream Bar!

And if you really want to prepare then tomorrow is National School Nurse day and National Opposite Day

But if you want longer to celebrate then don't worry; January is National Soup Month.

Resource

Psychologists say that to help beat the duldrums it is best to keep physically and mentally active.

So why not try this idea

Whilst making love to your partner why not try to name all your other partners in reverse order.

Any other good ideas?