Enter the Void....

I have just been watching Bad Lad’s Army and it just occurred to me. These boys are villains, some violent. And now they have been trained to kill! As the sergeant said to one Bad Lad after a rather over-zealous Bayonet attack “I really saw the killer in you. I’m really proud”. Great! Just don’t let him back on our streets! Still I suppose it’s more about channelling aggression, which can only be a good thing.
Which brings us to the boxing. Just before the boxing match, one of the lads said he was going to rearrange his opponent’s face. He threatened it was going to end up like Picasso.
Now I don’t mind a threat, but having seen a portrait of Picasso, I can say he was quite a good looking lad. So unless the boxer meant to go into the ring and give him a facial, I assume he meant he was going to end up like a Picasso, now that makes more of threat!

But to be honest there are worse to end up like than a Picasso. At least you will still have an eye- it might be in a strange place, but you will still have one.
But, instead, can you imagine ending up like a Jackson Pollock!

I have managed to prise my brand new, shiny PSP out of my sweaty little hands long enough to have a quick run down of todays news.

Todays News

A bloke who is a look-a-like for Simon Cowell is deciding to use his looks and go into music. If I looked like Cowell I would go into hiding.

A new version of the Ballet Cinderella was banned after it was set in a brothel. Apparently there were complaints from the male lead when the Glass slipper was replaced by a Glass condom.

And news from America; The Ruby Slippers from The Wizard of Oz have been stolen. The police are looking for an old, hag like woman, with a greenish complexion and wearing a hoodie.

More later

Playstation Mania has hit the country again as the PSP is launched today. I have had mine on order for weeks so as to guarantee it. there are reports that it might sell out before new stocks arrive. I remember the day i got my PS2. I pr-ordered that months in advance and I'm glad I did. I got it on Launch night in 2001, and they all sold out. I was even offered over £1000 for it as the next stock were not going to arrive 'til after Christmas. I wonder how many disappointed boys there were on Christmas day that year?

I also notice in the news that Shane Ritchie is going to appear in pantomime this year as Scrooge. Does this mean there won't be another TV Eastenders Knees up Extravaganza? Well, look on the bright side. At least there won't be another TV Eastenders Knees up Extravaganza.
I hear Jesse Wallace is also going to appear in the 'The Christmas Carol" She's going to play the door that Jacob Marley appears from. Apparently she is used to men emerging from her knockers.

Flicking through the papers (as you do) i noticed an advert that grabbed my attention. It was hidden amongst the mobility appliances page and it was for an inflatable Bath Chair.
Now I don't personally have an inflatable bath, so did I really need a chair for one? but I read on. "Now you can have a bath anytime, anywhere" Now that is useful. There have been many times when Ihave been stuck on a crowded Underground tube train when I really needed a bath. And now I can. AllI have to do is phone ** ****. I just hope the other people on the tube won't mind. Or will they all get jealous? Will they start jumping into my bath with me? Perhaps someone will puncture it with the sharpened tip of an umbrella. All of a sudden it sounded a bit too dangerous and I'm just not ready for that yet. I decided against the order.

After watching another excellent episode of Lost. (Jack's father. Is he dead? Where's the body?) I decided it was time to go to bed. It has been so sunny today that the house is hot. Our house is a converted cottage with the upstairs landing and bedroom converted out of the loft space, which means it gets extremely hot up there in the summer. The landing was boiling hot! Thank god I bought the air conditioner unit as walking into the bedroom was like a breath of fresh air.

Settling down to sleep I became aware of a strange blue flashing. And when I become aware of something it is hard to un-notice it. What it was was my Other Half's new electric toothbrush. As it charges it flashes blue, just like the TARDIS. So we spent the next ten minutes trying to make TARDIS noises that coincided with the flashing. I say try, because mine sounded more like a rutting moose and my OH's sounded like the noise you get when you scrape your nails down a blackboard!
After a while we got bored of that little game, so I tried to sleep. But I was still aware of the flashing light. Then it struck me. Is this what it must be like living in New York? According to all the films I've seen all New York Appartments have a flashing Neon light outside. All that was missing was the sound of constant gunfire and sirens and the murder of a prostitute.

Or perhaps I watch too much TV.