It seems to me that some people use their blogs tolist their top ten favourites of certain subjects, such as books films etc...And maybe I will do the same.
There certainly seems to be a national fixation for having top ten, top fifty or top hundred lists of things, especially on television. I personally am waiting for the Christmas Eve extravaganza "The top hundred top hundred lists"

Still in reading the papar I did see this strange top ten list. The top ten barmiest degrees that you can take in the UK.
Here they are.

1) Surf Science and Technology
2) Stand-Up comedy
3) International Football Management
4) Brewing and Distilling
5) Golf Management Studies
6) Space Technology and Planetary Exploration
7) Wine Business
8) Economic and Gambling Studies
9) Baking Technology
10) Stained Glass Window Studies

I would hate to have to pay for the field trip for 'Planetary Exploration' although the field trip for 'Wine Studies' sounds right up my street!

Its been a funny day. My group of Monte Cristos tried hard to convince me that a test was not necessary as they knew it all, honest. I decided to test them anyway- funny how their results don't support their claims!

When I got home I have found I have received a reply to an e-mail I sent someone with the same name as me! I was just googling one day and came across a web site from this guy (with the same name) and sent him an e-mail just to say hello! His reply today said it was just like that Dave Gorman bloke- which is uncanny because I think Dave Gorman is Brilliant!

And if you want proof that the world is going mad, then in the news today there was a 14 year old boy who was arrested for driving a car over the speed limit. He has been banned form driving for 1 year, three years before he is legally allowed to drive! And he will get nine points on his license, as soon as he passes his test!

This world is nutty.

PS: Happy 50th Birthday Kermit

This is my 100th blog.

Party time !!!

Will I get a telegram blog from the queen? ( A blogogram?)

I have decided on a change of profile image, to represent the evil, megalomaniacal genius side of me (Well we've all got one).
I hope they bring Davros back into the new Dr Who at some point. I have also been getting into the Big Finish Audio adventures (I listen to them in the car on the way to work)

It's half way through this long week and my duties are getting more tiring. Today for lunch there was fish and chips in the canteen and that is very popular! Which means all the pupils go for that and not the salad bar. This makes the lunch queue take ages. (It is also the other way round when there is boiled fish and boiled potatoes; everyone wants salad that day)
There was a news report on today sayin that in some schools, some pupils will have to wait three years for their healthy lunches. That must be some long queue!

After watching Estenders, which I assumed was set in France to celebrate International Day of Languages (Did we all celebrate it at work??) I have some questions. Who really goes into a cafe, sees a spread laid out, and then assumes that you can just help yourself because thats how they do it abroad- and didn't even get suspicious that no-one was around.
And when they forgot their car keys in the shop, why didnt they just go back in and get them? why did they decide to walk (and not follow the road)?
And on hearing the gun shots, why did they assume that they wre being hunted?
Still this is eastenders at it's wackiest (It'd have to be if the characters they are using are Garry, Minty, Gus and Jules)
Plus where did Mickey's sister come from. He's been in the show for ages and not mentioned her before?
But I had to laugh when Mickey's dad said he used to cop it when he was young. Yes he used to 'Cop' it at Sun Hill!!

I have been winding my OH up tonight. I have been telling her that the niehgbours son fancies her. The neighbours have been away and have left a key with us. Yesterday the young man knocked on our door to see of we had a key to let him in as he had 'forgotten' to take his with him when he went out! After that I told my OH that he was just making wild excuses to see her!
Now tonight he knocked again and asked if he had mistakenly placed a CD into a DVD case that we had lent his mother a month ago! Now if that isn't a lame excuse I don't know what is! So now I have been winding my OH up!

I'll let you know of any other developments...

Phew! A late night tonight, as this is the first night of my duty week. It means I'm gonna be late home all week, so I will be

I have just read the news that Morph, the little Plasticine friend of Tony Hart has been sold on e-bay for Charity for £1411.
He spoke in high speed babble and could mould into any shape and pass through solid objects getting himself into all sorts of trouble.
... and apparently Morph could do the same thing

I'm watching Coronation Street at the moment, and have enjoyed the recent 'awakening' of Shelley to the horror that is Charlie Stubbs. And reading in the paper I am pleased to see that the Corrie Bosses are planning to set Charlie up with another Street babe (Don't read on if you don't want to know)
Evil builder Charlie Stubbs is set to bed bitchy Tracy Barlow and spark a rollercoaster romance.
now that would make a fiery relationship. And if they get married, that would make her Tracy Stubbs! (Wasn't she one of the Birds of a Feather??)

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ITV surprised me last night by showing a decent, and brand new drama on a Saturday night. I am referring to Afterlife. The show is about Alison Mundy (Lesley Sharp) who can see spirits of the dead, and Robert (Andrew Lincoln), a psychologist who doesn't believe in mediums.
The show had some tense moments; like when Robert received a phone call from a young boy who he thought could be the spirit of his dead son.
I am looking forward to seeing more of this show. I'm sure it's not for everyone; as it wasn't 'actiony', but it certainly left me with a chill!

The last of the X-Factor auditions and the judges get to find out what ‘groups’ they get. But first of all here are my highlights

1) James (47). Thinks he’s the soul man. Ah Soul! That was not good. Believes that the East End of London thinks he should go all the way. (All the way out of London probably)
2) Ryan (38) He believes he’s Errol Brown but he reminds me more of Mr Motivator. Those dance moves were definitely ..er.. expressive. It’s hard for me to tell whether the voice is good because I was distracted by the dancing. But he’s through. (Even his shoes gave up due to his dancing)
3) Madonna. Yes that’s her name. As a teacher I notice trends in names. There was an influx of Kylies born in ’89 and loads of Tiffanys and Courtneys when Martine McCutcheon was on screen in Eastenders. There are lots of Joshuas at the moment, and that may be due to Coronation Street. Anyway, Madonna couldn’t sing
4) A Ronan Keating sound-a-like. It was funny when Sharon said “I don’t know who Ronan Keety is”
5) Richard (18). He decided to sing ‘All that jazz’. What does he think this is? Camp Cabaret Idol? Perhaps he should go for Big Brother, that’ll be more his style.
6) 47 year old middle-aged twins. Sharon thought they were fabulous! They sang Waterloo. I think the Sharon and Louis put them through to wind Simon up. There has been a lot of that. Simon called them Flabba!
7) Daniel (18). He suffers with Cerebral Palsy. He has a good (not great) voice! I am glad he got through because it should be about the voice, not anything else. Especially as they have put worse through (Like Flabba)
8) Christopher thinks he’s a smoothie! (That’s some kind of thick drink isn’t it?) He’s a cross between Curlie Watts and Wayne Rooney. Ah, shame he was suffering from a cold! (Looks like many people have tried that excuse)
9) Michelle (27). Went in with confidence and came across as arrogant and desperate. That’s what put the judges backs up. She looks like one of the Corrs, and she has a good voice.
10) Ursa (23). Reminds me of that Headmistress’s Secretary from the C4 show ‘Teachers’. Not a good singer. Simon told her to phone up Geri Haliwell and become a due. That’s cruel; I actually like Geri!

And finally, the categories:
Louis gets the under 25’s, Sharon gets the 25’s and over and Simon gets the groups. Simon is NOT happy. Hahahahahahahaha.

Well after a 0-0 half time score. The Liverpool Birmingham match saw four goals in the second half. Three of them scored by Liverpool players! Unfortunately, one of them was an own goal so the full time score was 2-2.

Well at least the second half wasn't dull

The BBC are in the news again. BBC bosses are angry with the creators of Spooks that a Sky News clip was used in an episode of the show. They were confused as to why a BBC News 24 clip wasn’t used instead.

"It's a definite own goal - how crazy to plug a rival news operation," one source explained. "Some top people within the BBC are far from amused."

Is there really cause for complaint or are the BBC just being petty? It’s not as if they can lose money, is it? I thought you had to pay the license fee whatever channel you watch.

The Birmingham Liverpool game has reached half time and it’s still 0-0. Could this be another dull, goal-less charade? I hope not!

I have also just been watching Scooby Doo 2- The Movie! I actually enjoyed it. I remember the ghosts mentioned in the film from the original cartoon (The black Knight, Miner 49er and the Tar Monster) It made me think about what other cartoons have been made into films, and how good they were. Here are the ones I remember
1) The Flintstones. It starred Rick Moranis as Barney Rubble. But I can’t remember who played Fred though. I remember it wasn’t very good
2) Popeye. Now that was Bad! Not a great moment in Robin Williams’ career. I remember not being able to understand a word he said, and there was a god awful song sung by Olive Oil about Brutus being Large

Can anyone remember any more?

Saturday Morning and I got up quite early as my OH had to get to work early. I watched Dr Who on UK gold. It was Survival with Sylvester McCoy and a surprising appearance of a very young Kelly Windsor(Adele Silva) She must have only been 8! It's funny sometines watching those old shows and seeing who you recognise.

I have also been Watching Dick and Dom. Jon McCririck was showing how impressive has bogies were. It looked like they were in Madam Tussaud's. It was quite symbolic watching him stand on the politcal platform between Bush and Blair, raise his hands and yell Bogies. He was extremely good at it!
Paul Danon is the Celebrity Guest. He seems to be enjoying it; especially when he got kissed by the surprise appearance of Scabby Titmuss (Part of the Shave and Vac game)

Oh I am such a child (And I don't care). It reminds me of what a pupil said to me earlier this week, and that was "Don't lose your inner child, sir'

And in the news...

Toy company Bandai have made a little plastic figure of Wayne Rooney for Christmas. It can kick, bend and scratch it's groin, but won't be able to swear as it's mouth is sealed shut. (Now there's a good idea). Although why you would want a doll that is able to scratch it's crotch I don't know. The company claims it will be twelve inches of action- I bet it's the first time Rooney has been able to claim that!

To be honest, the doll is a lot better looking than the real thing!

Headline of the day goes to this story
FANGS FOR CATCHING CAR SNAKE
MUM Pauline Evans saw a 4ft snake slither from under her car bonnet.

I bet that's the last time she calls the AA...

Hooray, the weekend is here! And I am so glad the week is over. Not only is the work tough at times, but I keep getting paper cuts; they are more painful than they look!

Eastenders has been good this week, now that Peggy is back to her 'Sticking up for the boys (I mean Sam)' mode. Knocking Chrissie into the grave was classic, it was like a scene from Absolutely Fabulous! And in Corrie, Shelley jilting Charlie at the altar, was also great viewing.

The live episode of the Bill was entertaining too. I love the way they cut to a pair of characters who are waiting for their cue to move. Classic live TV

I'm just watching Status Quo on Corrie now. I wonder if they have an album to promote?

Things I have learnt today

1) It is not easy to eat a chicken leg in a sophisticated and professional way whilst standing and holding a drink and talking to a member school governing board

2) It is not wise to mis-spell the word COUNT whilst typing information onto an interactive whiteboard

My school is having a peotry competition. The title is 'The Future'. I am going to enter this ditty.

Tomorrow hasn't happened yet.
I'm really not excited.
'Cos tomorrow there's a party
and I havent been invited!

Last year I didnt come anywhere with my poem to promote chemistry day. It had to be about one of the elements

Whilst discussing the merits of Neon
With Sleep-Around Suzie and Leon
Sue said "Toodle-oo
There's a test I must do
with a paddle that I have to pee on!"

but I keep trying

Another day over and not much has happened. I have managed to get hold of Little Britain Tickets for December in Brighton, and thats been sold out for Eons. I used getmetickets.com, I hope they're reliable! (Only Joking). I also managed to get a great deal on PG Tips tea bags where you get a free packet of chocolate digestives! Hmm Nice

Just thought I'd mention that out of all the CSI type programs, CSI New york is my favourite!

I found this in the net. I found it quite fascinating

Suicide, Accident or Murder?
"On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he passed the 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor level to protect some window washers and that the decedent would not have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this.
"Ordinarily, a person who starts into motion the events with a suicide intent ultimately commits suicide even though the mechanism might be not what he intended. That he was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not change his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicide intent would not have been achieved under any circumstance caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands.
"Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking the decedent.
"When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent appeared then to be accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
"But further investigation turned up a witness that their son was seen loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident. That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her son's financial support and her son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
"Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.

What was the verdict?

I'm knackered tonight. It's only half past eight and I'm ready for bed already. Driving home tonight I was stuck behind the slowest driver ever. Perhaps I shouldn't moan about it; I don't know all the facts. After all, I've seen the film Speed so perhaps this driver had a bomb attached to his car which will explode if he went over 27mph.
Right now I fancy some chocolate (even a crunchie) but I have none in the house. I may have to resort to sucking the coating of my coco-pops!

I have just watched Eastenders and it looks like Den's wake will be in the Vic. Quelle Surprise! (It was going to be at Pauline's which really is the best place for a wake!) The only question is... Who will ask Ian to make the sandwiches!

So Liverpool have drawn again. This time against ten men/one boy Manchester United. Michael Owen has made a name for hismslf with Newcastle by doing what he is paid to do; score a goal. (No-one ever gets excited when I do what I'm paid to do. I never get public approval for explaining the properties of Prime Numbers)

Chelsea (boo) are still ahead in the League!

I see Dick and Dom were in trouble again. Apparently they were on Points of View; adults taking offence to the 'crying game' just in case their kids rubbed onions into their faces. Perhaps we should give these kids credit.

And Mathematicians are in the news. They have invented a formula for the perfect feel-good pop song.

The formula for magic memories is: P+Pos+T+BMP+I=S. P is pitch, Pos is the percentage of positive lyrics, T is tonality, BMP is beats per minute, I is images associated with the music and S is the level of serotonin - the pleasure hormone found in the brain.

And they have stated that Wake Up Boo by the Boo Radleys has the highest S rating!

I wonder if anyone should tell Simon Cowell

This Weekend I have seen two films; Pride and Prejudice and Wolf Creek

Pride and Prejudice (u)
Plot: Well it’s a classic. Mrs Bennet is keen to get her daughters married. At the ball of a new neighbour, Bingley, he meets and falls for eldest daughter Jane. At the same ball Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) is introduced to Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen). Elizabeth is unimpressed by Darcy, but prefers the attentions of Mr. Wickham, a soldier, however her mother would much rather she be taken with Mr Collins, a cousin and heir to the Bennet estate. This is a love story between Elizabeth and Darcy.
My thoughts: It is a well scripted and well acted piece of drama. Keira Knightley is a welcome presence on the big screen. The one person I am yet to be convinced about is Matthew Macfadyen, as he has very little facial expression. I enjoyed his role in Spooks where he played the distant and aloof Tom and his portrayal of the distant and aloof Darcy is also good. But is he just a brilliant actor, or is he playing himself, distant and aloof? Judi Dench makes a good impact as Lady Catherine De Bourg.
I have not read the book; I don’t intend to. But this telling of the classic tale is well worth a look. It’s like Bride and Prejudice but without the Sari’s and dancing!
Best Bits: All the scenes with Knightley and Macfadyen. Well scripted and portrayed.
Rating: 7/10

Wolf Creek (18)
Plot: Three students set off into the Australian outback to visit the crater at Wolf Creek. Unfortunately their car breaks down and they are rescued by a stranger, who turns out to be a serial murderer. From then on it is a race for survival.
My Thoughts: It’s hard to read anything deep or mysterious into the plot. Three teenagers (One boy, two girls) get kidnapped and have to escape. However, their captor and killer isn’t going to let them escape. The film delivers some shocks and gruesome moments, but there are no real plot twists- it’s a basic race for survival-or-get-horribly-slaughtered film. The thing that makes you stop and think is the fact that it is based on real reports and stories about outback murders. So who knows, it may be a true story.
Best bit: The most tense moment of the film is when Liz goes back to the ‘lair’ to find another car. (Why get another car? You’re out! Why not just run away? Why go back in there? Huh?) You know there’s going to be a ‘behind you’ moment, but waiting for it is fun.
Rating: 6/10

There has been some talk on these blogs of black holes and space and stuff, so I thought it was my time to talk about it too.
Aliens. Do they exist? I would find it difficult to believe that in the whole vastness and infiniteness of space, that this little planet is the only one that holds life. It’s quite depressing to think that we are all there is. So I reckon there is more out there, somewhere.
But what will they be like? Evil annihilators like in Independence Day or green-fingered Alan Titmarshes with Speak and Spell fixations like in E.T.
Or maybe they are amongst us already? Perhaps that will explain Michael Jackson and the Hamiltons. Perhaps they are walking amongst us wearing human suits like the Slitheen from Raxacoricofallapatorius.(It does explain why a few fat people I work with fart a lot). Who knows? Maybe we never will
However I do like the idea of parallel universes. Infinite multi-verses where every variation of every decision ever made is played out). It’s nice to know that somewhere out there, war will have been abolished, Eugene will have won Big Brother and I wouldn’t have wasted 4 hours of my life going to see the film Driving Miss Daisy.

Now I must listen to the third part of ‘Sword of Orion’ which I recorded yesterday from BBC radio 7. Aah, the Cybermen: Men and Machine, now don’t get me started…

Another X-Factor and another set of hopefuls. Is it my imagination or is the talent getting thinner on the ground now
Here are my highlights.
1) They are in Scotland and the judges are hopeful. Two words guys, Michelle McManus. (I heard she was now a checkout girl in a supermarket)
2) Jenna from John-O-Groats. She tried hard but didn’t do very well. She says everyone from home tells her she can sing. What? both of them?
3) I really think the Britney Spears guy with the pink wig and the school uniform that sang ‘I think I’m turning Japanese’ should have got through! Now that was entertainment. As was the Teenage Dirtbag man.
4) Meg, who arrived in a bat-mobile, reminds me of Toyah Wilcox. (I thought that before Sharon said it). And I like Toyah so I am glad she’s through. I think she needs to get rid of the wig- It’s ropey!
5) Peter (18) another one who thinks he’s Justin Timberlake. If that’s ‘cry me a river’, I think he’s drowning in it!
6) Girl group Stiletto Runaway is a great song (by the Corrs). Becky is through on her own. She was quick to dump the others (heehee- who wouldn’t)
7) Dean and Shaz (or Deaz). I think Mac and Cheese would have been more appropriate. With extra cheese. Dean does strange things with his mouth when singing. Louis described him as irritating!
8) Kadiz? (19) brought her daughter along. That’s one way of winning the judges over. (Simon likes ‘em young). When will people learn that Whitney tracks are difficult as audition pieces! She did it well though, and she’s through.
9) Erica loves Sharon. Yeah we get the idea. I love the way the TV show is edited to make freaky people look even freakier. Speaking of which, I wonder if that woman keeps phoning Louis? Erica is singing I will Survive by Gloria Gaylord!

And finally, there is a guy there who changed his name by deed poll to Elvis Presley. That is quite sad in my opinion.

Well I hop you like my Blog

CJ592 (Christinaaguilera Justintimberlake 592)

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Saturday mornings are my favourite mornings. (Sunday Mornings are caught up with me fretting about all the wokr I need to do by Monday mornings)

The child in me has to watch Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow. Today, they had Eugene from Big Brother, A cut out of Davina McCall and no-one mention Rachel Stevens being a killjoy at all (Well maybe once, or twice...) And Lady Isabella Harvey did well with her extremely loud Bogies in the Dali exhibition. The Cycle race was fun too, they had to get members of the public to carry them along the course!

When I went into town after the show, there were crowds of kids yelling Bogies in the street! Oh to be young (I nearly joined in)

And now the news...

Apparently many devil worshipers were at it like rabbits last week, so as their kids could be born on the sixth of June next year!(06/06/06).

Admiral Nelson's funeral was re-enacted 200 years on. Apparently there was no 'Hardy' on the boat at the time, which may mean there was an entirely different meaning of his last words 'kiss me hardy'

And there are plans to make Jerusalem the new national song. After singing it at the proms, and the feeling of national pride it gave me, I'm all for it.

And did those feet in ancient time,
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the Holy Lamb of God
on England's pleasant pastures seen?

I will not cease from mental fight;
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Til we have built
In England's green and pleasant land.

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